|Reviews for Avian|
| Connor Mack chapter 1 . 8/11/2016
You know, it's not every day I come across a story like this! I really enjoyed the world you've created here, and how you manage to create one so believable without the need to pour on the details. For the life of me, I couldn't find any grammatical errors, but I definitely found words and phrases in your writing that I absolutely loved. I will keep reading this one for sure, and for anyone who reads reviews before diving into a story, I highly recommend this one!
| lunarchroniclesandcockatiels chapter 3 . 8/9/2016
I gasped when I read the ending...
Amazing story, by the way!
| lunarchroniclesandcockatiels chapter 2 . 8/9/2016
Very, very good... I'm worried about Kalleb... I'm assuming this story takes place in the future, perhaps in Northern Canada?
| lunarchroniclesandcockatiels chapter 1 . 8/9/2016
Oh wow... This is extremely good writing. I love the way you describe everything...
| BradytheJust chapter 3 . 8/8/2016
Holy F***! :O (and I don't curse, so you know I mean it)
I'm crying and I'm not afraid to admit it! :'( She killed her own father thinking he was an Avian.
I loved the line "the deaths of all hunters really... themselves." It was true for Leetha. It makes sense, and it's a sad irony for the story itself.
Which makes me wonder. Are the Chiefs also Alphas and when the hunter kills the alpha/the previous chief does he become an Alpha himself, only to die when he steps down and is hunted? Does anyone win in this story! AHHHH!
I also liked the becoming a monster theme, you can become an Avian or you can go on the hunt, betray your friends, and kill like an animal. I felt like the mountain isn't the most dangerous thing, nor anything external. It's the capacity for us to nurture a beast inside.
If I had one suggestion, I'd add one more line to the ending. Something like "It is pointed right at me" Space "The arrow between my eyes was a welcome relief, as the snow finally swallowed me whole." I think Leetha needs a direct death and not an implied one, she at least deserves that. In my opinion.
Another perfect masterpiece by you Victoria, wonderful work.
| BradytheJust chapter 2 . 8/8/2016
Blilt seems to get the better of many hunters.
I really liked the concept of having Leetha be so trustworthy and ready to trust Veek and Renkarr, only to be betrayed by them first. The battle scene was very well written, although I must say that if an Alpha is on scene and truely as dangerous as the stories say, can't everyone just bring the beast down and then fight over the corpse?
I also enjoyed the line "He will finally see that I am better than any son or picked up replacement son." That single line helped her character and gave her a reason to be on the mountain and taking those risks. It also helped explain why her father hit her in chapter one.
The battle was amazing and I could see everything in my minds eye, I could even feel the cold! One more chapter! :D Eek!
| BradytheJust chapter 1 . 8/8/2016
Mother of God!
Your word choice has me in happy convulsions for one. You make the blizzard feel like a living, breathing, dangerous entity. Far more dangerous than the hunters and the monsters they hunt.
The story gripped me from the moment I learned about the main character. the description, the deaths, the characterization. You did a good job with describing the hunters, and I felt like I knew enough to feel sad when I read their gruesome deaths. :(
The conflict of having a hunting challenge on a dangerous mountain always appealed to me in stories, but you took the bar to the next level here. The dangers not only from the Avians, but also from the mountain itself and the other hunters... it gives me chills.
I hope Leetha (such a pretty name by the way) survives, and I must read MORE!