|Reviews for The Friend with the Dragon|
| Brandon Nickleby chapter 1 . 8/16/2016
Nice work so far! I like the small feeling of nostalgia that this little story gives me. It has a tinge of optimism, which I really like, laden with also a few feelings of depression. It's an interesting mix and could potentially call some self reflection in the reader.
A few nit-picky things. A few of the sentences read a bit too long. See if you can chop some done. Really take a look at your word usage too, as I think a few repetitions could be eliminated to make the story a little bit more clear and concise.
I'm not sure what you're planning on doing with this, but I think it would serve you well to expand and write a short novel about this. It's an interesting opening, and I'd like to see where the story could potentially go. You might also consider using different phrasing, or a different tense. I think that if it were expanded, the "you" would begin to sound a bit more clunky.
Nice work overall, keep it up!