|Reviews for The Lake|
| Angel-Led-Astray chapter 1 . 11/14/2004
I haven't checked your reviews yet, but I hope you don't get any flames because that was quite good.
I liked the twist, but I do have a piece of constructive criticism. I liked the idea of the wife wanting retribution, but I think her getting out of the water shouldn't have been so abrupt. There could have been more suspense there, the reader wants to know if she'll make it or not, and then what she'll do afterwards.
Otherwise though, nice story. Keep writing! _
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/14/2003
good story i hope i'm spose to be suspecitng a sqeul
| Just one in a million chapter 1 . 8/28/2003
OOh. Nice. I first must congragulate you on the way it was written, with awesome, deep, good suspense. The feeling of dread was all over the story. I was a bit anxious while reading it _ Very nice writing style too.
By the way, I'm not clear on the fact of who she killed. I think it was her husband though? Am I right? Jeez, I feel so stupid for not knowing... _
| comtesssorelli chapter 1 . 8/18/2003
That was very good. What am I saying? It was great! Awesome! (and I'm pretty sure she killed her husband, not herself, raising the axe over her head so she could use it's weight for a better swing, right?) It reminded me of the story where the lady kills he husband with some meat from the freazer (you know, over the head) and then feeds it to the police. I'm glad she killed the jerk, but what will hapopen to her now? The police are bound to show up soon. Hm... Are you planning a sequel by any chance, cause I would love to read it!
| initiative chapter 1 . 8/1/2003
wow. ive never read suspense before, but hey! it's pretty good, isn't it?
watch out for spelling mistakes, they lessen the effect. use spell check, or get a beta reader.
by the way, did she kill herself? "He watched as she raised the axe over her head as
though ready to chop down a tree"
why she kill herself and not her hubby? did she still love him..nevermind.
looking forward to seeing more from you.
| punked-crash chapter 1 . 5/16/2003
Woh... way cool... the way u start with a totally different beginning, we never know what ur up to with the end... it's really good! pls write more!...
| BenRG chapter 1 . 1/24/2003
I just can't believe that I've never actually reviewed this story. *shakes head* What is it with me and Originals anyway? Oh well... You know what they say about 'better late than never...'
Anyway, to the point of this review: This is a fine story. Having been through it a couple of times now, it is very reminiscent of 1950s pulp mystery fiction (people like Dashell Hammet and Phillip Marlowe). The strange, fractured perspective of the story is compelling too, for a strange reason.
Criticisms? The ending just didn't ring true for some reason. It fits in well, and ties up the loose ends, but it isn't /clear/ in some way. However, this doesn't detract from a good story.
BenRG's Rating: 7/10
| Morbane chapter 1 . 11/21/2002
Mmm. Good plot, shaped to fit a short story well - by which I mean that we know enough about the characters for the short story to be carried by them, but you haven't tried to get in over your head in their descriptions/ personalities/ prejudices/ motivations.
Thank you, too, for one of the most flattering reviews I've ever had *grin*. I'm glad you liked LEGENDARY. It's a work in progress. :)
| gutter gator chapter 1 . 3/3/2002
WHOA! HOLY FREAK! That absolutely AWESOME! Jiminy Christmas, that was great. Whoo-ee. Good god, you need to get published or something. That was brilliant. :) :)
And thanks for your review. :) :P
| Lady Cassandra chapter 1 . 7/23/2001
Ooooo, creepy! Loved every second of it, though! That no-good George deserved whatever he got! Can you believe that? Him trying to kill her because she made more money than him! The nerve! I don't know what the woman's name is, but whom ever she was, I say give it to him girl! As I've said before, he deserves whatever he gets! Great story!
| Vickie211 chapter 1 . 6/26/2001
Ooooo! Excellent! And you actually had me feeling sorry for George at the end. Well ... almost. Anyway, you have a marvelous writing style. Be sure and let me know when you publish your first murder mystery so I can buy a copy. Oh, did I mention that this was excellent?