|Reviews for Transhumanism: The Edge|
| BradytheJust chapter 3 . 10/23/2016
Well, you certainly put me into Jones shoes, I'm shaking like a leaf!
The crazy women, the scalpels, being tied up, the panic of fleeing the crazy world. It's almost like "Alice in Wonderland" one man trying to escape a crazed world.
The description was perfect and the ending, though a bit strange, wrapped everything up nicely. Another amazing piece by you my friend.
Keep it up, my friend! :D
| Zukafu Chiriamoto chapter 1 . 9/7/2016
Ooh, Oxford comma! Sorry, that's no way to start a review. I shall try again, attempting to do that a little better...
I was very much interested from the moment I finished that synopsis. Shipwrecks, humans that aren't quite as we know humans to be and daring escapes - I mean who wouldn't be? (Anyone who doesn't find all that their cup of tea, I guess.)
The imagery is niiiiiiiice. With your words as the paint, I could see your vision of this strange and somewhat idyllic island. The atmosphere worked really well, morphing and changing with each step. First it was rather ethereal, then it became slowly peculiar then jumped to the creepy and the tense. And nothing definitely makes the jump to creepy then a china mask/doll face character warning of danger... Ugh. Enough to get a shiver down my spine every time. Whilst I can't say I approve of Jonesy's (sorry, petnaming the Sergeant already) hitting all that much, I cannot say I blame him at all in this case. Self defence hits are A-Okay! Also, an animalistic plant with acidic innards. Fabulous. Terrifying. But fabulous nonetheless. By the end, my heart had quickened considerably and I was tense to get to the end where Jonesy might escape this estranged woman.
Ha, really enjoyed this. I look very much forward to what is next.
My one food for thought in regards to improvement. I thought this sentence, "She seemed perfectly at is with the humidity, despite her modest attire." could do with a bit of reviewing. It didn't quite make sense to me.
All the very best, see you in the next chapter (which I shall have to get onto very soon!)!
| BradytheJust chapter 2 . 9/6/2016
Oh my gosh Jonas just can't get a break!
I've read a ton about horror houses in my time, but this is the scariest one! The dead woman, the crystals and glass for food, those faceless servants! Ahh! Hot dang I'm going to have nightmares! :O
Still, you've done a wonderful job with the descriptions, the characters, and the plain madness of this world! I can't wait for more! :D
| BradytheJust chapter 1 . 9/4/2016
Okay that was scary, I jumped at the carnivorous plant, and I'll be watching my houseplants very carefully.
You did a good job with this chapter as you brought us into the story but gave us just as much information as the narrator had. Plus that mannequin/giant/faceless thing was both interesting and scary... dang scary.
Amazing chapter and I don't have much in the way of criticism and I can't wait for more!