|Reviews for The Mage on Shallow Shores|
| Copperfur chapter 1 . 8/25/2020
I really liked this oneshot and how descriptive it was. You described how the character felt about magic and the pulse of the dragon’s heart as it resided in the mountains. How the character did the wrong thing by experimenting and was banished because of that and consequently met the fish people who took them in and taught them.
I absolutely loved it. (Sirius from the server, btw)
| Timbo Slice chapter 1 . 9/26/2016
I do like the general plot of this story as I think it's a adequately crafted mythical tale with a complex dynamic between the inlanders, fish people and mages but what sets it back from truly shining is the somewhat impersonal tone of the piece. We get that the main character is stuck "between worlds" never really get a sense of characterization in that regard.
Lack of dialogue also makes this piece feel dry as far as the writing goes, and a lack of vivid descriptions to compliment the prose makes for a read that comes across as a big exposition rather than a fuller fledged story. There are definitely some interesting themes and ideas behind this though so keep up the good work!
| Sjoorm chapter 1 . 9/11/2016
An intriguing story, where a dragon bleeds magic into the land and fuels humans (I think?) Magical abilities. However, I personally am not a terribly large fan of stories without dialogue, which makes this piece grow rather dull about midway. I think it would be improved with a dialogue sequence rather than a description of the land.
Few things I noticed and/or questions I have : I don't think "power in plentiful" is actually proper grammar. I could be wrong, though reading that phrase aloud just feels wrong to me.
Kind of confused on if this person is an outcast because he likes to destroy things, or if there is another reason?
Why do the fish people drag this character back into the water if they are going inland? That part is also confusing to me, and maybe it's just me but some clarification would be helpful there.
Good luck in the WCC, and nice story! :)