|Reviews for Whisper|
| Ietzik chapter 1 . 7/11/2017
An interesting development. It's cute how they had tea parties together :)
| Marina x Machina chapter 1 . 6/22/2017
. Sorry, but this suddenly reminded me of "Pacify Her" Melanie Martinez. Tea party, blue boy. Is it not clear that I'm a little obsessed with Melanie though, haha? I do like this concept, though, imaginary friends that aren't imaginary. Sometimes because they're a ghost, plot twist! Or, they're just in a coma and it's not a ghost, it's an astral projection, plot twist! I'd love to see a continuation of this.
| RainbowPearls chapter 1 . 6/21/2017
Wow. This is so fantastic and interesting.
I loved it!
I wish if I could really know more about that 'blue boy'
That was so sweet of him the way he accompanied the little girl. Sure she would have sweet memories.
| SimonClemens chapter 1 . 6/19/2017
This works either as short fiction or prologue.
There is just enough left vague, even if I might have seen it done before, this is done well enough to make me interested. And you write good!
| Barbados chapter 1 . 4/27/2017
Well, I'm eager to see this story take off again.
Love this prologue - it does a good job setting the tone.
Not much to give a solid review on yet, but I wanted to make sure I was here when you get around to this again. :)
| 93BNMill chapter 1 . 1/31/2017
I love ghosts. Adore them, pursue them. So when I read this, I was grinning. A child has a mind far more open than that of an adult. Though I am curious, who is "Blue Boy?" Why was he in that house? What was her nightmare, and why was he sorry (though I suspect it has to do with how he died)?
The only thing I can point out that is a tad distracting is the length of the first sentence. It's a bit wordy, too. Might just be me, but I thought I'd throw it out there. For a prolog, this was rather nice. However, the ending does leave a sense that something was left unsaid. I think it might be "Not exactly" that is added to the end.
But the blue boy wasn't invisible. He was dead.
| TheNonyMouse chapter 1 . 11/6/2016
This is a really intriguing prologue. The trope of twisting children and things associated with children into something terrifying isn't entirely new, but your blue boy still manages to intrigue me. It helps that you have strong prose, that paints an intriguing picture in a very few words while hinting at further depths. I saw on your profile that this is an older story you're re-writing, so I'd be curious to read more once it's done.
My only grammatical nitpick would be the end of the second sentence. It reads a bit awkwardly to have the comma after "the blue boy," even if it is correct. I'd suggest moving the wording around such that it reads, "her consistent answer was, 'The blue boy.'"
Otherwise, this is a very solid prologue. I hope the re-writing is going well!
| sometimes i like 2 write chapter 1 . 10/6/2016
Jesus, this is going to give me nightmares. I have a weak 'dream-station' why would you do this to me? I started reading it and I was like, okay, a little creepy... But then I got to the part where it said "the drinks that existed less than he did" and I was like, "phew okay, he's no ghost or anything" but then the end sent freaking chills up my spine and I shrunk in my chair and no joke, my eyes started to water. Sorry, I'm a pansy. XP
| Ckh chapter 1 . 9/27/2016
I'm done with the-stuff-I-need-to-do for a short while, and I see you rewritten Whisper. Interesting. From my memory, the first chapter of Whisper was a bit underwhelming, and this brief rewrite manages to pique more of my interest than it originally did simply by expanding on the background. Good job.
| BradytheJust chapter 1 . 9/26/2016
Well seeing you re-write Whisper is an interesting choice, but you did a good job with the first chapter.
It stinks a bit because I feel like you had a very good story going on with the original Whisper, but I can't wait to see where this goes!
"Existed less than he did" Great word choice! :D
Keep it up and I can't wait to see where this goes!