|Reviews for Into the Deadlands|
| Onkwehonwe Kashatstenhshera chapter 9 . 8/15
Alright finally got time to read and review this. So David fought the Iranian army that is...peculiar . I don't know what to make of that. Anyway, I'm honestly surprised they didn't run into any zombies there either i know the zombies are a result of the red skies and all of that but I'm just saying maybe a prototype it would make sense that the government would test it on hostiles. I alsao am curious as to the details of the mission David was tiold not to ask questions about because now it makes me wonder.
I also have to wonder if that the zombie family type thing if theyre all gonna be that huge or if Davis just got the bad luck of the draw. But being that big you would think they'd be what was ntended wherewas the zombies are the like a genetic failure kind of like the zombies in Resident Evil. Wesker was the ideal canidate for what the virus was supposed to do for you whereas most preople became zombies cause they weren;t fit for it. That actually makes me wonder what the protagonists would be we know Piers can be a semi sentient mutant but I have to wonder about Chris, Leon, Ada, Jill, Claire, etc because while we can either assume getting bitten is non canon or assume they are immune at least to zombie bites it makes you wonder what they'd become if they got infected for real ad not cured if they'd be zombies or super creatures. We pretty much know Jill would be superhuman so i guess i answered my own question but with Leon, and the others idk.
As for Brooke and Joni I was thinking would you two just shut up and lez out you know you want to.
And it was funny when Mariah punched Joni and she pretty much backed down. I'm not gonna lie last chapter with Jenette dyin g I can't say I'm sad to see her go.
I'm actually rereading this story over just so i can be familiar with it next time you update.
Only one piece of advice maybe next time pace the flashbacks to the war or just show it in a straight shot if you dont do oine flashback per chapter cause the back and forth thing made my head spin a bit it was a bit like Mafia 3.
I agree on the writing part and not being saved i fucking scream everytime and then ask myself do i even want to live on this planet anymore?
Jackie had shitty luck I gotta say.
Dude I hated Shea Whigham on Boardwalk Empire so he gets no sympathy from me.
| Fallout2281 chapter 9 . 8/10
Great chapter brother well surprise seeing Eli alive but his brain a vegetable how is even alive also who that Japanese lady with Eli and do you red vs blue episode do you wash is going to live or die plus locus is back as a good guy
| Fallout2281 chapter 8 . 2/20
Well that was an exciting chapter brother but what happens to Veronica the pilot and David going to probably want to kill Murphy girlfriend for leaving them behind plus Maria going to want to kill her for leaving her and kid behind.
| Onkwehonwe Kashatstenhshera chapter 8 . 2/20
Damn Pop went out cold and I didn't think he shoiuld have still even been talking after getting shot the first time. David getting kicked out i mean i wonderif he's leaving now that the fight is pretty much done?
Im gonna have to go back and read this as it's been too long to remember who each character is visually inspired from. I habd a feeling pops wouldn't last long.
Pretty sure David isn't dead and i hope Maria isn't dead. And Rachel. Cant remember Kate that well.
That was a pretty sweet gunfight with the marines and taking out the choppers i would hope to be that good in a gunfight bagainst te army
| Onkwehonwe Kashatstenhshera chapter 7 . 1/12
I notice David says what the fuck yall lookinmg at a lot. Seems to be his catchphrase. I always hear it in Big D's voiuce ypou never saw the Slim Shady Show it was very short lived cartoon but therew was a large black character that was loud and always said thayt and he reminds me of that when he says that.
Isla Fisher is pretty for a fire crotch. And she seems to prefer the funny guys. Did you see her in wedding crashers? If yes I think you know what scene I'm thinking of. I would want that done to me.
It was fucked up the way Christopher wnt out I know why Maia hid but damn i almost halfway hoped she'd intervene even if it wouldn't have ended well. I know some women would anyway but then when you got a baby it's different.
As for what Davis said to Julio it's true the Americans aint heroes never have been. Even WWII Normandy only is partial credit.
Now I gorta wonder if Invisible Republic is even a real group or not. Nice chapter as far as the bloodiness goes i agree with David abpout kicks thats about the only purpose it seres unless you care to try doing the nose into the brain thing but it is a risk. I would do it though if i was outta ammo and didnt have an immediate weapon. Unless their nose rotted off in which case fuck.
Speaking of Tainos I wonder how the tribes in your settings are doing in the midwest i know many would have died same as anybody else but there's bound to be survivors on every rez there's always at least one guy who knows how to hunt. Since your story is mainly set in Misouri that's Fox, Osage (They actually defeated us before and whats interesting is there's a part of their land in Kansas that is known as the bloody highway as it was an area where they battled other tribes and later on the cavalry's) Miami. Even Shawnee, Tecumseh and Blue Jacket's people traditionally have lived there as well as Kentucky and Ohio.
In Kansas, Arapaho, Cheyenne, Comanche, Kansa, Kiowa, Osage, Pawnee, and Wichita are tribes that either are from there, or were later relocated there.
It's a shame this story doesn't get more followers but then it is ff vs fp. Still you would think anyone with a fanfiction account would also be on fiction press. i need to get back to Labrynth too. I'm introducing a character of Sierra Leonean descent who's basically a scientist who is trying to tackle the more scientific aspects of what will be going on studying the brains of people who "Changed" as well as a number of other characters but unlike Elan, this guy will initially be working in Vegas.
I'm hoping to honestly see David kill more of those asshole soldiers. The way i view it now is in a way i can see what he's tryting to say hes saying soldiers are already mercs themselves right? The difference is that Blackwater guys are honest about it being for the money where as soldiers believe it's for a greater cause than themselves but truth be told not only do soldiers get paid (You got family in the military so how much?) plus think about all the soldiers from the barrio or hoods or the rez I'm not saying none are patriotic but the motivation is going to be employment first. I had heard we are actually the most likely to join the military im guessing thats another percentage vs total recruits thing again despite our population so a proportion thing but it's still fucked up if t is true. We should be the lowest.
But still, David is honest about what he stands for. In a way he's like the angry guy who yells vs the quiet guy who doesn't in that people got their eyes on David as the sociopath but that's cause he's more visibly an asshole meanwhile they fail to see the wolf in sheeps clothing, Then again no offense but the group is either idiotic or naive because if they don't know by now these soldiers are not heroes or on their side, then that's choosing ignorance.
| Onkwehonwe Kashatstenhshera chapter 6 . 12/24/2016
This was a good chapter i completely understand their predicament and I don't at all disagree with what David's approach is. The others may see him as an asshole but he's not wrong. He's like the Sgt Barnes of this group. Or even Merle.
It was an interesting talk between him and Rachel you were right she did have a fucked up upbringing. Her life was a living hell. She lived in Iowa! oh anfd the other stuff was bad too jk that was all fucked up but i had to go there. I do commend you for using midwestern states im not even sutre i would ever even ;pass through to go to another state thoug because these are states less representd. Frankly Longmire and Wyoming same deal. I like how Rachel told him this and she is hauntecd by it but he told her get outt when shre asked how many.
Honestly I'm seeing David's personality in me.
The fight between David and Muphy did not go over well. For Muprhy.
Whtere's maria again i may have spaced out
| Fallout2281 chapter 5 . 12/15/2016
Great Chapter Brother, Man i feel really bad for David Castle he has a Rough History of abusive father and a Hateful watcher Mother who did not help him when he got beaten his ex wife her sister and parents can rot in hell in this apocalypse and one question is that new women and his child Zoe are still alive or not plus David is a really interesting character to has there never a disaster where the Government would try to clean there mess by sending American Soldiers as Cannon Fodder to get rid of Zombies and Possible Survivors and Government always Blames some Random Person for it instead of Admitting that is was their Fault plus We know ha;f the group will want Justice and revenge against the Government for what they did.
| Onkwehonwe Kashatstenhshera chapter 5 . 12/15/2016
Well well well three Bloodlone King Hollywoods tried to steal David's car and they got their minds blown. Literally. Along with everything else.
Who was the call girl visually based on?
I wonder what happened to her and Zoe.
As for him finding Handgun and shotgun and Rifle ammo I gotta say that's lucky because at this rate I woyuldn't expect him to find that much. You know what was funny about TWD when it was the first season someody had written this lengthy article and this was before it was revealed that we're all infected and he said how would zombies even take over seeing as even 1 officer has a ton of rounds for the pistol plus a shotgun and these days an Assault Rifle too.
I gotta wonder just how much ammo the average pig carries. I used to know how much a soldier carries but I forgot. I've forgotten so much. But I have learned some military tactics so infuture chapters you're gonnna see Joaquin using more of them i just realized that a lot of mostly what he's done so far for his barrio is teach them to shoot but I should have him using actual strategies too. It's just a lot of shit has happened so you can kinda see that's gone on the back burner and part his own survival is due to him employing these tecniques going cover to cover i mean to a degree the gang has been following him on that so maybe im wronmg maybe they have done that but i want to have them do more of that.
Plus I guess technically he has used the flanking manuevet.
Question. Why would David want to join the Marines after he's army i meanm i know he joined Blackwater but thats beside the point why was he even considering the Marines have you ever heard of somebody doing that? To me that seems as odd as the idea of in WWII having served in both the European and Pacific campaigns.
I had an Elder tell me his dad fought in both stagtes of it and I didn't believe him but i could be wrong.
The only actors of these i recognized was Catherone Dent.
Damn dude with zombies if i had to choose between getting shot and a broken leg I think i'd rather get shot.
Now i am curious what Rachel's story is. I'm getting a Lee and Carly vibe from them.
| Onkwehonwe Kashatstenhshera chapter 4 . 12/7/2016
So these people are clearly not dead i knoe david isn't but they're assuming he is so i wonder if the same is true for pop.l
Nice to see him open up to Julio and as for the zombies it seems much worse now and damn i was just gonna ask how the gov kept the story from getrting out but quatrsntine makes sense but idk ow ot hasnt spread past the midwest. And i liked the detail about the emp io forgot tlo factor that shit into a lot of stories. Is there any way to fix emp damage?
And was it really terrorists because that seems like the official story but i suspect something more ominous.
I gotta wonder though because Imani was inttrodiced but then she was in New Mecxico safe so i wonder how she got out and they didn't. Also who is she visually based on?
I liked the detail of the bites on the woman too. It reminded me of the SD Pewrry description of zombies in the RE 2 novel
| Onkwehonwe Kashatstenhshera chapter 3 . 11/30/2016
Well well well. The fifth president to die from a gunshot and the first to be the one to pull the trigger. In the words of the villain from The Crow, if it's any consolation, you have put a smile on my face.
That was the quickest killing off of the Rangers I ever saw. Seriously. And I'm sure all those Kings and GD's and what have you didn't make it either. Now that's got me wondering though if there should be a fic written where the same thing is happening to the California gangs or not.
By the way i know you hate Texas but how do you think they'd do against zombies I tend to think pretty well.
It's also interesting that you had this happen in the midwest where as anywhere else it's not though I doubt it'll stay that way long. Zombies move. Unless is something going on where people in the other regions can die of natural causes and not come back as zombies?
I also had no idea you watched Madam Secretary too I am way behind though. By a couple of seasons. We may have to give each other a rundown of shows we've see and haven't seen.
You know you mention the quarantines and all and yes i can see them shooting civilians but the thing that movies show that to me is not consistent is on one hand the military wil evacuate some people on the other hand they'll execute others so which is it they need to make up their inds even Dead Rising did that.
And if there's any basis in reality for that shit, well they need to let us the viewers know how they decide which civilians get evacuated and which get quarantined or executed nd just how much time would factor into that as well. Because honestly that never made sense to me.
Also speaking of nukes you kow the whole mutual assured desctruction thing you told me about even though that is the official treaty there's a lot of things that can go wrong with it such as both sides having anti ballistics missiles and since the use of nukes or potential use is as a deterrence well the thing about that is lets say the first strikes wiped out half humanity you literally habe to be retarded if you decide to wipe out the other half just to get back at the other world power even if tht's what would happen it's still stupid. Because no matter what beef the US and China may have with each other the rest of the wold has nothing to do with it.
Also is that to assume then that if one country started nuking another, they would try and nuke the whole country right not one or two cities because that would be the most efficient way to do it to at least not fear retaliation. On the other hand that doesn't factor in things like suitcase nukes or things like stealth missiles either.
Anyway, it seems David has broken his own code to save the little girl I have to admit I'm surprised. But why are they nuking Chicago and not Kansas City? I gotta say i love the chapter title for chapter 3 too that's very dark. Also, so much for the Forge lineage,. That just went kaput.
Dude you actually watch American Dad? I can't for the life of me watch that or the Clevealand Show. I've only ever seen one thing on American Dad that made me laugh. Seth Macfarlane needs to stick to Family Guy or doing Ted movies i mean he's pretty funny in movies too but i think with clevealand show and american dad they let go some writers right? I actually knewa guy who thought American Dad was funny but Drawn Together wasn't.
| Onkwehonwe Kashatstenhshera chapter 2 . 11/8/2016
Who is Maria based on?
Julio freezing up with Davis isn't good. I like that you're making the walkers blood shot in the eyes kind of like 28 days later and 28 weeks later see that i can believe i find red eyes terrifying and that to me is natural. What i don't find natural in a lot of zombie games is when they glow red. There's no explanation for that that a virus could explain.
Tommy sure didn't last long and it was kinda cold to kill him but you said David was like that. Maybe in a way i can kind of underdtand why Julio didnt help him at first all though idk if that's due to fear or spite but my guess is fear.
Honestly for my walking dead stories, while yes many will suspect the government theres also going to be people who bnlame it on bath salts and swine flu and other shit like the way you see the new z nation i get that trump may be president and thus wil start WW III but i don't like it when z nation tries to be funny it takes me out of it. Also hate the IR dynamic witjh citizen z and the Inuit girl if shes even Inuit im gonna google and find out if she is or if they pulled another fucking Piama.
Damn i almost forgot all about the women in that movie freddy vs jason idk about you but i voted fotr jason. The pedophile shit makes Freddy hard to root for even if he is funny. I saw that wutj my uncle i was like 12 and i was thinking fuck yeah naked titties.
Damn, Miklo got killed. Milkweed went down the drain. He'll be giving Satan chon chon.
Isnt that one chick the brunette one i think brooke isnt she the one who had sex in frddy vs jasin and nd was the smoker?
| Puffgirl1952 the 2nd chapter 1 . 10/30/2016
Curious to see what happens...
| Onkwehonwe Kashatstenhshera chapter 1 . 10/29/2016
Well I can tell who Davis is meant to be based on description but he's the first protagonist I've seen you have smoke cigarettes.
Kansas City is also a new change of scenery what i know about Missouri's major cities aside from the very basics is very little.
I'm curious as to what caused the virus in this instance and also are the rules of this virus like we all have it or you gotta get bit? I'm going to assume it is romero rules just because it looks like they died from a car accident.
I know St Loius has a lot of gangs but Kansas City I'm in the dark about
And i get what you're saying about vampires being worse than zombies then again if zombies started to get as smart as they did in Resident Evil 6 that wouldn't be a walk in the park.
You know I keep mentioning the Wendigo all though I haven't yet ;listened to an actual elder tell me about them I think based on the way they are said to look, they tend to be like our version of zombies but for some reason I always want to portray them as moving more like Lickers. Who knows in upcoing Resident Evil stories i may have them replace zombies all together. At the poiint I'm at with TWEN, the Rakshasa has mostly taken the slot of zombies.