|Reviews for Magica Academy Vol 1|
| thejashorrious chapter 19 . 4/8
That was a good read!
| cud-b-better chapter 1 . 3/16
Decided to read this on a whim (the title drew me in). Well kind of a similar starting scene to rwby. What with being saved by a teacher and then going to the school as well as the robbery. But I'm a sucker for these kinds of stories with magic and guardian beast like entities. Fight scenes were pretty well done, but I felt that some of the dialogue came over a little stoic and cliche. Not a bad start though.
| Arcadia Sterling chapter 11 . 6/15/2019
Sooo... A few questions.
1: What exactly is the reason for the Spectres and how do they contribute to the magic? Logically, one would expect that a Spectre would be like a familiar. The primary purpose of a familiar is to protect the magic-user as they came into their powers. A reasonable extension of that would include the familiar being capable of absorbing magical shock that could harm the wizard.
But all you wrote is a glorified Pokemon battle. The magic students stood at the sidelines and called out attacks while the Spectres did most of the work. You didn't really give an explanation for what the purpose of the Spectres is. Just that they're meant to be lifelong loyal companions of the magic-user. There really isn't any explanation at all. It's like you thought "hey that's a cool concept, let's use it", and then forgot to develop it.
2: What the eff is your magic? How does it work? Leon is 15 and never once shows even the slightest hint of magic-use in all those years? I understand that fear for one's life is a powerful motivator, but are you seriously implying that Leon never once experienced a moment of ragingly strong emotion that could have brought his magic to the surface a lot sooner? And why - after only three days of knowing he has magic at all - why does he suddenly and mysteriously level up without any chance to study and practice? Why, on the first day of school, is he miraculously capable of basic combat magic without any prior sorcerous schooling? Leon exhibits the SuperSpecialSparklyAwesome elements that are inherent to Mary Sue characters. What is your Magic System?
3: Is the Magica Academy the ONLY school of magical arts on this alternate Earth? How big is the population of magic-users? Are they all expected to attend Magica Academy? Is there a homeschooling option? How well known or how hidden is the magical half of the world? Are there other schools?
If you have a small worldwide population - let's say comparable to the purported size of JK Rowling's magical Britain (10 Muggles for every 1 wizard, she said, but it could be anywhere from 2100 to 4400 in total depending on how you do the math and what census year you're pulling the population number from) - then a single school is doable.
BUT the bigger your population, the more schools of magic you're going to need. Applying JK Rowling's ratio to the population of the United States means that in order to successfully educate all members of the American magical society, you need one school PER STATE. Maybe two in Texas and California. Ilvermorny alone isn't going to cut it (unless every classroom has the seating capacity of a football stadium). (to be fair to JKR, folks in Britain don't actually realize HOW BIG the US really is)
I know this is your first story, so I'll give you the benefit of some doubt. HOWEVER, this is the first story in what is meant to be a quartet of stories (at least). It's supposed to set the foundation. But it doesn't do the job of introducing the world and building the world NEARLY as well as it should have. In the first 11 chapters, some of the most crucial world-building elements aren't well thought out or get utterly glossed over. Chapter 10 offered two opportunities to actually run through the details of the alter-earth's magical history and the actual use of magic. But instead of giving the readers a chance to learn something before the narrative charges forward, you skipped over that. So I can't help but think that you don't actually know either.
u gotta know these things
| i'm sherlock chapter 10 . 1/23/2019
professor cosmos magical combat curriculum:
- beat up students
end lesson 1
she's great haha
| i'm sherlock chapter 4 . 1/23/2019
Burnape! That is clearly an Infernape!
haha but oooh doesn't appear that they are alone here? and why doesnt prof cosmos trust noel :0?
| i'm sherlock chapter 3 . 1/23/2019
A wild Ropup appears!
Ropup uses Tackle!
Also I liked how each student thought of a different way to stop their fall in a way that fit their personalities. Although the wolf villainization breaks my heart. Poor wolf :'(
| i'm sherlock chapter 1 . 1/23/2019
"Let's go out for ice cre—" PWNED
| Anna Banana chapter 19 . 12/26/2018
Wow. His daughter? The biology teacher? Wow.
Well, let me introduce myself. I’m Anna Banana, or Anna If you please. I found your story while browsing in the recently updated and found the second volume, and I looked on your profile and here we are.
I would like to see this has been a pleasant read. I’m a very picky person and I need intriguing stories that catch my eye. Out of the very few that I liked, I found this one.
This story is very intriguing and I think that your main characters are very interesting and worth the read. My favorite by far is Soleil- I was a very hyper kid like her. I also really enjoy Noel- I’m extreme bookworm and love studying and excel in most subjects.
The plot line as well as arcs are very intriguing and worth the read. I think most people would enjoy this story.
Now, for some predictions.
Henry and Elise.. wow. After a while, I caught onto their romance and connections. Noel said he didn’t have a family, and Henry, well he left. I wonder if Noel is their child?
I also wonder about Minerva. She’s very interesting. I wonder if she was like, revived or something? It just really intrigued me. I would like to see more of her in Volume Two.
I’m really excited for Volume Two and will be reading all your side stories thst connect to the series. I am really excited to start Volume Two and honestly really enjoy the series. I hope you continue making stories and think you would be a great English teacher (if you keep working towards it) and honestly could see these being published.
Have a happy New year,
| Lorne Shora chapter 1 . 4/8/2017
It's a BEACON of hope for the world! 'Cause RWBY! Ahhhh! Get it?
I'm just gonna... I'm just gonna go.
In between the last line where you explain Casters, Sorcerers, and Spectres (the one with "only time will tell...) and the line where you introduce Leon (Leon was walking through the streets that night.), you should probably put a line. The two are unrelated.
Also, White Fang... I think that's hilarious. I'm a RWBY watcher, that's why. Also, Professor Elise Cosmos reminds me of Glynda Goodwitch. I don't know why I pointed that out, but... eh.
"It all ended when he ran into an alley" should probably be "It all ended when he ran into a dead end in an alley" or something, because Leon was cornered, and why he can't run in an alley, I don't know.
I would say you need to work on description. You can include description in your writing sometimes, but so far, it's just clumped together and that's it. It'd be better if it were spread out and there was more detail. There isn't enough, especially with body language. I can tell that you've kind of kept description in your mind, but it's not quite natural for you yet. It's something that you remind yourself of, and then write in a short burst. Correct me if I'm wrong, though. This could be interesting, but it'd be better if you remembered to add detail, especially body language during fights.
The grammar is okay, but not quite flawless. You're missing some commas, and I think you used the wrong your/you're at one point. You might want to proofread, or have someone else proofread.
Also, Leon is somewhat flat. He doesn't react much when the Professor says that he won't get to see his family much. That's... a bit of a problem? It'd be better with some kind of reaction.
Forgive me if this was a bit long, or if it was too harsh. I think you could do better, and I hope to see it!
| A Whispering Shadow chapter 14 . 3/25/2017
Uh... getting intense.
| A Whispering Shadow chapter 5 . 3/25/2017
Rune's my favorite character so far.
| A Whispering Shadow chapter 3 . 3/25/2017
This is good! Keep on going.
| Guest chapter 2 . 12/19/2016
Not a good thing to name your character.
| Lilith S chapter 2 . 11/27/2016
I love this chapter. It's a bit sad with Leon's parents and brother, how they have to let him go and all. I can't imagine what they must think having him go to this Academy. I can't help but wonder if they knew about the Academy and these powers and everything, or if they were completely clueless about it all until Leon discovered it. That's probably not what I should be focusing on, though, as much as I should be Leon and the Academy.
The names you've picked for your characters are so unique - especially Soleil's. I adore the names probably more than I should, but they're so unique and different to the point that I don't think I will forget them anytime soon. I'm really interested in how your characters are growing and the friendships that Leon is making. There's definitely a lot of potential for these characters and relationships and such, so I'm really excited to see where this is going to go.
And the Academy! God, am I excited to see what this initiation is all about. I'm actually intrigued with this Academy - which is strange, as I've said recently, because I don't usually read stories of this genre (and enjoy it). Despite that, I am so excited to see what happens next. I can't wait for the next chapter! Keep writing!
| Lilith S chapter 1 . 11/19/2016
If I'm completely honest, I'm not a huge fan of fantasy - I know, crazy, right? I mean, I never really got into Harry Potter as I child, or Pokemon or anything like such, so I stopped reading things like that. Despite that being said, I actually liked this. I'm a bit excited to continue reading, which is definitely a strange thing for me to feel in this genre of fiction. There are a few parts that could be fixed. I think that at the beginning, when you're talking about the history, you should have some sort of transition between going from there to Leon's story. A break, or something, an indicator that we're changing to a different part of a story. It's just easier to read, that's all. I also think that with Leon, he was a bit too confident when he found out he had magic and was a Caster. If I were in his position, I think I'd be a bit scared of sorts that I had just blown a wolf away with the motion of my hands. There should be a sort of timidness to him, or at least a sign that he's not quite in control of his power - that'll just make the story seem more realistic, even in this different world. Overall, though, I really enjoyed reading this, which, as previously stated, is surprising. I'm excited to see where you go with this. Keep writing!