|Reviews for The Saviors of Statera City|
| Rebecca Roy chapter 2 . 4/17/2018
Nice, capturing a gang of bank robbers and a postman getting hounded by Kelly.
| Rebecca Roy chapter 1 . 4/17/2018
Wow this kinda feels like Manga, or Anime, it's really a fun read and these two are amazing, they act just like teens, teens with super powers that is.
| TVH Bookfan chapter 1 . 1/19/2018
So far, it looks like Statera hasn't changed much in the last thousand years. Yet, for some reason, there will always be a set of twins around to either stop all the chaos or increase it, depending on how you look at things. For robots, they seem to express a little too much emotion sometimes, making them quite different from other robots in sci-fi that are often devoid of all emotion. They can make everything from learning to cook to saving a city from a monstrous octopus fun. Let's just hope Produco has the patience to put up with all the further mischief which is to come. I'll be looking forward to seeing what comes up next.
| CheddarBrat789 chapter 12 . 9/28/2017
It was nice to see Jett get more screen-time, and I cracked a smile during his priceless reactions to Kelly's flirting. Admittedly the whole "girl tries to determine the identity of her secret admirer" plot is something I'm sure we've all seen numerous times, but I will say that I've never seen the secret admirer get rejected upon discovery, so that's an interesting twist. Aside from the cliché, I really don't have any complaints here. This chapter was overall a fun read.
| RisanF chapter 1 . 9/21/2017
Produco's personality comes off a bit pompous in the beginning monologue, but he quickly starts to gel once he has a chance to play off his creation. Kelly and Kevin are fun, archetypal characters that are perfect for an action-comedy piece, with punchy dialogue to match. I do wonder if you should've elaborated more on Kelly's mysterious crush at the end of the chapter. Fleeting attractions are fine, but we don't even know what this guy looks like, just a shadow.
I do wonder if stating "don't take this too seriously, it's just for fun" is a good way to advertise this story. Even your average goofy cartoon/comic book has something to say once in a while, or characters with compelling goals and interactions. It's important to have "heart" when you write a comic-style story (which for this story would be the relationship between Produco/Kelly/Kevin).
Bonus points for the swell artwork used for the cover. It's always good to use artwork to advertise your story if you have any talent at all, and this helps set the mood for your story.
| CheddarBrat789 chapter 11 . 9/12/2017
Haven't come back to this series in a while, but this chapter was overall enjoyable for me. It was nice to see Kevin and Kelly find yet another ally in their crusade, and I hope he makes more appearances in the future.
As for what can be tweaked, I'd suggest using italics for titles instead of quotes, and be sure to capitalize words like "Dad" unless they're preceded by a word such as "my" or "our". Admittedly, the latter issue used to plague my writing in the past, so I can relate.
Aside from that, this was yet another fun read!
| TheRealEvanSG chapter 10 . 7/30/2017
This story is really good, and I'm honestly excited to see where you take it from here! Kevin and Kelly flow very well together, their differences in character meshing really well in a way that reminds me a lot of Dipper and Mabel Pines from Gravity Falls. The side characters seem interesting too, like Kevin's nerd friends, and Kendra and Ugi. It's very interesting that there's so many types of people and other kinds of lifeforms hanging around Statera, because you can do a lot with social commentary on that.
Most of the stories played out very well, with the conflict being resolved decisively and reasonably, although sometimes your action is a bit lacking. It tends to be rushed over, I think, in favor of the main plot of the chapter; I'm looking at the action sequence where Kelly and Kevin initially discover their powers as the main point. It's a whole lot of only dialogue paragraphs, which when the reader wants to see the action, can kind of make them skim over it. Don't get me wrong, the dialogue and interactions of the twins are great, but at scenes like that there's sometimes a little too much dialogue and not enough description. Thankfully, the other action scenes that cropped up, like the destruction of the meteors, and the fight against the spiked monster, didn't so much have this problem.
| LorrahBear chapter 1 . 6/19/2017
Interesting idea, with the twins who save the city. I thought it was going to be something where human twins discover it was meant to be them after the robot "twins" malfunction or something like that, but it sounds like you have a fun story ahead of you.
As a personal preference, I don't love the breaks in flow for the italicized thoughts of the professor, but that's nothing more than just that - my preference. If you like it, so be it. Just don't forget to stick with that stylistic choice throughout the rest of the story too.
I noticed a few punctuation errors throughout, in particular, surrounding spoken text. When following a spoken section with " he said" (or something similar), you end with a comma, followed by a lower case "h". For example:
"I really love cookies[,]" [t]he boy said.
The exception would be for sentences ending in an exclamation point or question mark, although they would still have the lower case "h" regardless. For example:
"I really love cookies[!]" [t]he boy yelled.
This is a solid start, and I look forward to more from you.
| Katie Grey chapter 9 . 6/13/2017
Aww... I really liked this chapter! I can totally relate to the siblings' dilemma, because I am prone to gloating over my younger siblings just like Kelly, and they always take it too seriously... But I'm glad that they came together in the end :)
A few things... It seems a bit too convenient that a monster happened to be attacking the city just when Kelly wanted to test out her new upgrade, but that's just me being picky. Also, I don't get why they didn't use the chip to uninstall the Ignitus Appartus upgrade in the first place instead of sending Kelly to attack him... Most likely because Produco wanted them to make up, but it seems a bit too dangerous when instead they could have used the chip without any real danger involved. Again, just me being picky.
Oh, and I'm pretty sure the people at construction WOULD mind working overtime, but that's not really important is it...
| Matt LF chapter 8 . 6/7/2017
Cool story lol, end review.
JK nice little buddy romp, you do a good job of telling the story mostly with dialogue, something I've not managed to do.
in a few places I think you may over describe some things, you get a point across with actions and then tell the reader for good measure also which may not be needed sometimes. eg.
Kendra held her hands up in defense, having no intention of offending her friend. -I got that she ment no offence by the hand gesture and dialogue
with shocked expression and a dropped jaw, amazed that the bot could pull off that manoeuvre with little effort. - and again the jaw drop and dialogue was enough.
I think you might overuse said alternatives like, pounted, frowned, answered etc. Which is just my opinion and feel free to ignore it, but I've been reading about the topic and the logic goes; said fades into the background and doesn't really register, and therefore doesn't stick out or break the immersion. When you're throwing in a different word for every interaction it can stick out a bit, although later on you did a good job of using different ways of to show who was speaking withought using any he said she said... etc.
I liked kellys first interaction with the prof, it was chatty and light but not over the top, just enjoyed that for some reason, sometimes casual conv. can come across weird and unnatural, but nope. Kellys transformation into an arse is absolute and the change comes off well and not wishywashy.
and lastly just a few typos/possible missing words.
"As the sight of it" "flyer on the hall," " the fembot was in the space dancing" "won, but the girls still furious with the self-proclaimed star player."
Thanks for the read!
| CheddarBrat789 chapter 8 . 6/6/2017
The first thing that stuck out to me was the fact that there's a black character in this series, and I won't lie, I was pleased at her inclusion. She doesn't seem to be stereotyped at all either, so that's another plus. Hope she makes more appearances in the future.
As for this chapter, it was still enjoyable, but I didn't like it quite as much as the previous ones - mainly because the morals seem to be a bit jumbled. I mean, at first everyone was happy over their first few victories, but then they got mad because Kelly was being selfish. And then when Kelly learned her lesson, I was expecting the others to be glad that they could actually participate, but instead they raged because they lost as a consequence of Kelly taking a step back. I was especially taken aback by the fact these kids were middle-schoolers, which (imho) seems like an awfully old age for someone to act so childish.
Then again, maybe this was just done for comedy's sake, and if so, then kudos. But if not, then I may just have to read it a couple more times to try and understand this better. Still an enjoyable read, though, with some good jokes and a good lesson for the younger crowd.
| Katie Grey chapter 6 . 6/3/2017
Once again, standard comic book material. While there's nothing wrong with that, it seems like this would be more targeted for children. Also, all the standard, overdone super-hero lines like, "that'll teach you to mess with my friends!" seem to have been added into this story in abundance... which, again, is great for kids, but can get old.
This may just be because I'm not a big fan of comic books or superheroes. Plenty of people would enjoy this a lot. And there's nothing wrong with it! I'm just not a big fan of this sort of story... sorry. :/
| Katie Grey chapter 2 . 6/3/2017
Sorry I thought this was chapter six, turns out it's chapter two, lol...
This seems like the sort of thing that would be found in a comic book store.. not my favorite kind of read, but it can be good. There isn't anything wrong with this, except perhaps throw in a bit more conflict here, seems like everything has been a breeze for these characters so far.
| acountdeleted chapter 6 . 6/3/2017
Broad daylight. You said brood, but it's broad. Other than that, very good. I find it very well written, the characters interesting, and the plot original.
| CheddarBrat789 chapter 7 . 5/23/2017
I can tell this series is definitely treading different waters than your other works (at least out of the ones I've read). I mean seriously, racism towards robots? It's always bizarre when a mostly kid-friendly series makes a reference to something more adult, but at the same time it's clever to see how they'll go about it. Most kids shows I've seen mask this with a joke or something of the sort, but no, here it's pretty blatant. And I'd say the themes of prejudice were really well-executed here, and the concept of prejudice existing in the future is really interesting.
Aside from that, I couldn't really find anything wrong here. Everything else I've praised your work for is still present in this chapter, so... yeah.