Reviews for Disclaimer
Guest chapter 1 . 12/15/2016
angie hofer
2011-06-24

you really lay it on thick-a compliment.
Guest chapter 1 . 12/15/2016
simpleplan13
2011-05-01

Thanks for paticipating in April's Review Marathon. Sorry for the delay in the review... stupid fp being down.

I really liked this. I thought the repetition of the idea of the disclaimer worked well to bring the reader back to the subject at hand from wherever you had led us. The repetition with the confusing thing was great too 'cause it did in fact confuse me.

Your descriptions were really beautiful. I especially loved the description of your your words get to the other person's ears. That was really beautiful.

Overall, great piece. Full of emtion and well written.
Guest chapter 1 . 12/15/2016
CAPS LOCK MAN
2011-04-02

CAPS LOCK MAN HAS BEEN ASKED TO REVIEW THIS STORY! CAPS LOCK MAN WAS ASKED A WHILE AGO, BUT CAPS LOCK MAN DID NOT COME! CAPS LOCK MAN HAS BEEN TOO BUSY BEING AWESOME! CAPS LOCK MAN IS HERE NOW, AND SO CAPS LOCK MAN'S AWESOMENESS IS IN THE PRESENT!

CAPS LOCK MAN'S AWESOMENESS IS SO GREAT IT IS IN THE PRESENT AND ALSO EXTENDS INTO THE PAST AND THE FUTURE! CAPS LOCK MAN REMINDS YOU THERE IS NO POINT IN ETERNITY WHICH IS NOT ILLUMINATED BY HIS AWESOMENESS!

CAPS LOCK MAN ENJOYS THIS POEM, AS IT IS METAFICTIONAL AND REFERENCES ITSELF AND THE CONVENTIONS OF THE GENRE! CAPS LOCK MAN FINDS THIS KIND OF THING PARTICULARLY AWESOME BECAUSE IT IS LIKE TALKING ABOUT ONESELF, AND CAPS LOCK MAN ENJOYS TALKING ABOUT HIMSELF!

CAPS LOCK MAN APPROVES!
Guest chapter 1 . 12/14/2016
thewhimsicalbard
2011-02-16

You had so many subtle devices in here that I don't really know where to start... How about at the beginning?

I did notice one error in the very first line: "where I tip the words out and allow THEM to fall to the floor."

You touched on every single sense except smell before the end of the second paragraph.

I loved the image of "air currents", and especially how you combined that with the electricity imagery that follows. Brilliant stuff.

I'm going to skip the obvious irony that underlies the entire poem.

"confusing conjectures" 'nuff said. It was jarring, annoying, distracting, and in all other ways exactly what you intended it to be. Excellent.

After the confusing conjectures stanza, the next... five or so stanzas ride an interesting line between surreal imagery and exposition. That's hard to do, but I think you pulled it off really well here. It didn't feel out of place by any means. The focus on different parts of the body at different points in the poem up until this point was very effective.

Then (and I don't know if you meant to do this or not), the imagery shifted for four stanzas to the eyes, and only the eyes. At this point, the reader does exactly what the speaker just feared a moment ago: he scrutinizes the author's personality. Even as self-conscious of a reader as I am, I found myself doing that, which made me even more self-conscious... It was quite a cycle. Powerful stuff.

Sorry this has taken me so long... One of my aunts got really sick, so I've been on the phone with my family a lot. They're feeling a little bit upset, as you might imagine. I did not by any means forget about the review I promised you though.

Great stuff here, Liana! I'm glad to see you writing lots of poems lately!

-twb
Guest chapter 1 . 12/14/2016
BlameMyMuses
2011-02-10

Wow, just wow. The imagery is amazing and it's so real. It's so true and written so beautifully.

The emotion is just amazing, the enite thing is amazing - I'll stop rambling but fantastic!

Loved it,

~BlameMyMuses
Guest chapter 1 . 12/14/2016
lookingwest
2011-02-10

Damn, I already missed the le virg review for this, and I was only a few hours late! XD

Wouldn't want to cloud your mind with contrite conjunctions connecting confusing conjectures confusing conjectures confusing conjectures con-fusing.

-Fabulous

Alright, so I thought this was really cool (big surprise, hahaha). But I liked it the most because it seems so readable. Like, I can really tell with the last two pieces you've put up on FP, that you've got a poetry slam influence here. Even though this wasn't exactly a "poem" you know, it still had that quality, and you could probably pass it as poetry prose pretty easily when reading it aloud.

I definitely think this is also meant to be read aloud-it's quite empowering too. Like, I can relate to this as not only a poet, but a writer. Especially after all the disclaimers I've got to put up in that sort of thing too-but you take this further and you give us an image of the power of the author, and the spoken word of lit, and the speaker with the coffee stained teeth and all of those wonderful images that come together. I really loved that.

It just makes me at the end want to be like: F$ck yeah! XD Also loved the rich language you start with in the beginning-I don't know, I didn't exactly lose focus through this or anything, I like to think that I got it-I mean,t he purpose is to flourish in a demonstration of language and the power of prose to me, and then sort of declare, you know, I shouldn't be responsible for your lack (the reader's) of being unable to understand the shit that comes out of my brilliant brain, XD. I thought you kept that pretty apparent throughout because there's this consistency of the line like, "I refuse to read a disclaimer" and by keeping that consistent you do provide a very thorough message.

Now, whatever poem you write up next must be uploaded in this doc, XD. Very fun piece with a great attitude coming from the speaker. Really been enjoying these recent works!
Guest chapter 1 . 12/14/2016
sophiesix
2011-02-10

some spine ringling imagery in this, Liana, and you're right, teh begining flows teh best. it feels most powerful, and then, though teh images aer still great, it feels less directed and more meandery?

"I'll keep my eyes on the floor because I can't face you. I can't stand the look in your eyes that say you're actually listening to what I'm saying and you care." I love that para and teh two before it seem to almost pale into redundancy in comparison?

I love teh idea of teh words linking teh reader and author, and unveiling teh author in all their clockwork heart cracked skin faultiness :). i like teh tension between the fact that teh author wants their words to be direct and unveiled, but also doesn't want to stand naked and be seen and judged. in a way its a bit of a paradox and i wondering if exploring that paradox more clearly might give a bit of guidance to teh second half to counter that meandery feel? like teh poem are teh clothes teh author wants to be seen in, or something?

I did also wonder about "I refuse to read a disclaimer before my poem", unless its in a slam context? i was assuming you meant 'i refiuse to write a disclaimer before my poem', or refuse to read a disclaimer before anothers poem, but then i thought maube you meant in a slam, and it made more sense.

lovely work, liana, thanks for a great read!
Guest chapter 1 . 12/14/2016
Watrtouchd
2011-02-10

Well, I don't know what exactly the original topic of this was, but I do like it.

It makes me feel uncomfortable and awkward. I can see the person speaking in my mind as they fumble, and try so hard not to fidget. The fear and nervousness is potent. The silence that you would hear between words is overwhelming, and I am so hyper aware of it.

I like how you used your sentence structure to not only tell us about the speaker, but also about their state of mind.

I somehow feel that while the speaker is assumed to be human that they aren't, at least not entirely. It makes this piece even more intriguing and captivating for me.