|Reviews for Soar high with Dove Clan|
| WolfGoesBaa chapter 13 . 3/7
You did a good job outlining Dollhouse's history and the conversation between him and Parker was good. Although the numerous grammar issues were grating on me, especially when King was talking. Otherwise, it was a good chapter.
Parker eyed the [piled]. - [pile]
| WolfGoesBaa chapter 12 . 3/7
Hey! I haven't read anything in a while so I thought I'd get back on the horse with this one.
The way you write this makes reading the battle between Parker and the Dolls fun. It's a thrill ride from start to finish. Although sometimes I wonder if your battle are too detailed as that can make the chapter too long.
Parker lifted her [hands palm] up. - (?)
She punched the [magic], but Parker - (Fairy magician?)
guard grabbed a [thing] of keys from his hip... - [ring]
guild children sometimes got the [brute] of their anger, - [brunt]
| lirianstar chapter 4 . 10/6/2017
I have to say the action and convo are pretty spot on! Just needs a little more description in some parts. As always, I'm a sucker for a good action theme story!
def. will be reading on :D
| lirianstar chapter 2 . 9/29/2017
the plot is fascinating. Will be reading on!
| A Big Bet chapter 1 . 6/5/2017
It's a risky opening, to (seemingly) kill off the protagonists before even giving us their names. Still, the document is free of any obvious SPAG (spelling, punctuation, and grammar) errors, so it shows a level of care above many other works here. This one looks worth following.
| WolfGoesBaa chapter 11 . 5/6/2017
Naked chicks, who may be dead with no nipples running around robbing shops. Sure, that's not creepy to imagine at all (shudders).
I like how the story focuses on other Dove clan members and not just Rocky. You've created quite a cast of different and quirky characters. And Dollhouse seems to be a disturbing villian. I'm interested to find out what hus deal is. Ha ha, King getting arrested for harassing streakers. Seriously though, those women should also be arrested unless its its acceptable in this world to run around naked near where families (with their kids) are.
I suggest you pay careful attention to dialogue between characters as at times it doesn't make sense.
spatula to [threatened] the man - [threaten]
And [a] family [mean] that no one gets left behind - (remove 'a' change mean to means. Sounds better that way and I would say you should combine this sentence with the previous and start the new sentence with the 'because' gasp, that's right I just suggested you start a sentence with because, only because it sounds better. I don't know how grammatically correct it would be though)
boy whimpered [for his lost]. - [loss?/lost mirror?]
they were stealing [jewelry]? - [jewellery]
Nobody [mess] with an Hindentt and [get] away with it - [messes] [gets]
Out of nowhere a force jerked [then] forward. -[them]
Good chapter and now to the next
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 6 . 4/30/2017
Yeah! Good thing help has arrived! Well, I would have said something if the kids could still fight after that, but that would make me a hypocrite. Oh well.
Time to kick ass!
Oh, and poor Daniel. Somehow he didn't choose wisely and he got torn in half in this chapter. Oh well.
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 5 . 4/30/2017
Bubble beam!? Ha ha ha, Pokemon rules.
Well, it seems that the kids are in a world of trouble, whether they are the boys or girls. It's kind of endearing, and you've developed the characters pretty well. It's so fun to read about them!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 4 . 4/30/2017
Yeah, that was crazy. Nice chapter, the fight scene was nice, and I like the banter between Rockie and K.O. Good thing they k. Alijah. That was one hell of a monster!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 3 . 4/28/2017
Yay! First mission! damn that cliffhanger, though. But this looks promising.
Poor Rockie, damn yo, trouble always follows him wherever he goes. Ugh. I feel sorry for him.
It's nice to see an entire team, so it's not just Rockie and Belle but also Maya and K.O. Nice. I like the characters, they're fun, and the banter they engage in is amusing. Plus that gator scene...see you later, gator!
But wow. Rockie can't even save a cat or grab a book without a disaster. That had me laughing. Poor guy. Rockie rocks!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 2 . 4/28/2017
Talk about ungrateful. Rockie and Belle saved the people in the bank from the robbers and instead of being grateful, they whine about how they destroyed the bank and how they are monsters.
It's true...those non-magic humans are the real monsters. They make me sick. If I were the magic dudes, I wouldn't bother saving such a-holes. Well, I still would, but just once - just once, I'll leave them crawling and begging for my help before saving them at the last moment. That's just me though. :)
Anyway, good story. Rockie rocks! I laughed at his story, c'mon dude, abs that make women climb him? Seriously? But he's a fun character, and he makes a good pair with Belle. I can't wait to see more of their adventures!
| Tomoyuki Tanaka chapter 1 . 4/28/2017
Wow! That as a short chapter. Nah, we all know it's not the end. I like the way you started, it was cheeky in a good way and very amusing. I look forward to reading the next chapter!
| WolfGoesBaa chapter 9 . 4/14/2017
This chapter was a fun read. It was fast paced, action packed and at some points funny. And we got a proper explanation on what a source is. Though the whole soul of a source thing is still unclear but I guess you'll explain more of it in the future.
I forgot how many characters this story had. I had to refresh my memory a bit since its been a while since I read.
the kid once again [skipper] across the ground...-[skipped]
King chuckled as K.O ran in from his right with his arm drew back, and then he kicked out his right leg. - (This makes it seem like KO was the one who kicked out not King)
Good chapter and I hope the next comes soon.
| veritas.incarne chapter 1 . 3/7/2017
Interesting prologue, I think that it has me intrigued and wanting to know about the events that preceded it. It definitely sounds like an epic in the making, and I'm sure that you will deliver the promise of an exciting story with characters that we love and cheer for as they advance on their adventures that lead them up to this point. I'm intrigued and hooked, and I would thus like to see more of what happens. I think that you did a good job setting up the world and everything, and that the characters that you've introduced thus far are intriguing, even though we haven't seen much of them. It's only a prologue after all, but it still accomplished a lot with what little pieces it has. Very nice job, I'll keep an eye out on this one.
| WolfGoesBaa chapter 7 . 3/4/2017
Wow, Ricky and Ace are beasts. As can be expected from senior members of the Dove clan. And that's the end of the first arc and te juniors first mission and well well, Rockie is unconscious for it. Ha ha ha. Is Gceshirra an African spirit because if I'm not mistaken he was chanting something in either Zulu or Xhosa. From questionable Shakespeare to an African language, that spirit is talented :).
Well that was a good first intro arc and hopefully the story will get better with future chapters.
... Ricky [unlessed] a load of punching combos -[unleashed]
This [is] has gotten way out of [hands] you guys... - [ ] [hand,]
Now if you don't mind, I have to listen to all the music you've put up. Next time!