|Reviews for Soar high with Dove Clan|
| Shang chapter 2 . 8/5
In all honesty I'm not sure that opening "prologue" (chapter 1) is necessary; sure it makes one wonder what its all about, but frankly I don't think it's a particularly good foreshadowing or a mechanic to hook the reader. And it is also very short in itself, so while the feeling put into it is okay, it just doesn't have enough to capture the reader in my opinion.
The actual, first chapter fairs a lot better; in a nutshell it follows the core formula of an action shouned title such as "One Piece", "Fairy Tail" and the like with young protagonist taking on a weaker bad guy as means to present the characters and the setting. Nothing wrong with that and it is kinda hard to get around (I would know with my stories ').
The story itself gives off a vibe of being mix between "Fairy Tail" and "X-Men" of sorts, though admittedly it is just the first chapter so I can't make official judgements on that front yet. Plotwise it was pretty enjoyable, though some room for structural and stylistic improvement does exist... like the fact that your characters are ALMOST exclusively referred to by their name only, giving the sense of "limited vocabularly" or that you yourself don't know how to define them.
There are a few, minor hickups of grammar where either a word is missing or the wrong spelling used, though nothing particularly major.
Overall I did enjoy the read and am intrigued about what happens next. For the moment I have just returned to FictionPress after long absence, so for now I'm selecting stories I intend to read in the near future (especially since I have my own remakes to update as well), but I'll be back here for more sometime soon, I hope.
| Kahoruko711 chapter 5 . 7/7
I have to admit, this was a nice chapter. The action scenes were easy enough to read through. It's good to see the girls handling their own in a fight.
| Kahoruko711 chapter 4 . 6/12
Well, the action was on point. It just needs a little more description in a few places but I thought it was pretty cool. I'm wondering about the hunters though. They don't seem completely human if one of them can summon shadows and turn into monsters. Maybe they formed a pact with the supernatural or something? I guess I'll have to find out sooner or later.
Anyways, nice chapter.
| ArcanePunkster chapter 2 . 6/4
Sorry for the long wait for returning your reviews have been very busy lately.
Anyhow really enjoyed this chapter especially the interaction between Belle and Rockie which I look forward to seeing more of. Also liked the reference to Dragon Ball with Rockie's hair lighting up (if it was a reference that is haha, Dragon Ball was the first thing that came to mind when reading that scene)
I also am intrigued to find out more about this 'Holiday' place as it sounds rather interesting. So expect a review on the next chapter very soon!
| Kahoruko711 chapter 3 . 5/28
Well, I'm liking the two new characters so far. Though Maya kind of grinds at my nerves a little. Hopefully she'll carry her weight and help Belle in the fight against the hunter. Perhaps Rockie's bad luck can pitch in during the next battle? I hope so.
The prologue seemed random to me. It would have been better if it was the first chapter along side the bad end beginining. But, I guess you had a different idea.
The banter is on point once again. Keep up the good work.
| Datathee chapter 2 . 5/9
Have you played Dragon Age? Their mistreatment reminds of the game especially when the non-humans aren't comfortable with Rockie and Belle.
I'm liking what I'm reading so far. Belle is the straight man to Rockie's goofy side. Rockie has a bright future in storytelling. Just like the kid, I loved his active imagination.
My only recommendation is to add visual detail about the mystery people. If(or when) they pop again, it'll be easier to see recognize them.
| ArcanePunkster chapter 1 . 4/27
Interesting start, reminds me of when I first played Crysis 3 on the Xbox 360, and the Ceph crawled out of the ground and started killing humans without remorse.
Also I get the vibe that this man and woman aren't the main characters? But I suppose I'll find out next chapter so I'll continue reading on!
| Kahoruko711 chapter 2 . 4/26
Not going to lie; you had me at "abs that make women climb him" statement. Like, wft? That really made me laugh. I also like the dynamic of Rookie and Belle. They contrast and balance each other out with their different personalities. So, great job with that.
Nice action scene in the bank. Though, it could read a little better with merged paragraphs.
Also, normal people hating on mages? I must admit, that's a very realistic apporach. I can't say I blame them for feeling that way, but I wouldn't go so far as to treat them like dirt. And the way they just accpeted the words of a bank robber? Sheesh, ungrateful jerks.
Anyway, this is really well done. I'll be looking forward to seeing more.
| Kahoruko711 chapter 1 . 4/26
Geez, that went from zero to hundred quickly. So, I'm guessing this is a prologue and it's foreshadowing a bad end for the story? Or perhaps it's another timeline in a bad future? Well, either way, it looks interesting so far.
It could have been a little longer, maybe show some action with the husband and wife. Perhaps they try to fight off more foes only to get more and more overwhelmed. Other than that, everything else is fine, considering how short it reads. I'll be keeping an eye on this story.
| Datathee chapter 1 . 4/25
This can't be the ending!
Will this be like Memento? Like Guy Pearce's character starts from the end and works back to the beginning of his problem?
Who are these characters?
| Jae Hwa chapter 5 . 4/3
I enjoyed the fighting scenes, it was a nice way of getting to know our cast’s powers. Although the mission sounded quite easy, it appears that they’ve got themselves in quite a pickle. I’m gonna take a wild guess and guess that Daniel will take all the eggs, and incur the guardian’s wrath.
And I really, really like the opening and ending themes because MCR and Paramore? You got my vote!
| WolfGoesBaa chapter 16 . 3/29
Sorry to lump 2 chapter reviews into this one.
That was an epic end to this whole Dollhouse's arc. The action was on point, worthy of manga status and Dollhouse meeting his end so suddenly was unexpected.
Although the action was great, I think you should add less detail in fighting scenes unless you shorten the duration of the fight then they can be detailed. Sometimes it's best to leave some aspects to the reader's imagination. I liked the plot of King doubting himself and the fairy mage getting kidnapped but alas the ending of the arc didn't wrap the plot up well... for me at least.
My dolls are [inferior]. - (Did you mean something else?)
down until there are [known] left - [None]
Danger Danger let out a [scuff] - [scoff]
and the metal [drugged] Nara high off the ground. - [dragged?] (Although I think [pull] would've been better or [whipped])
slid away just before Nara's [forearm punched through the ground.] - punched forearm deep into the ground?]
| Jae Hwa chapter 2 . 3/26
This honestly reminds me a teensy tiny bit of Fairy Tail. But mages being disrespected and feared? That's more realistic. I mean, if our world was teeming with mages I'd be scared shitless too. I like how calm Belle is, and the dynamics between her and Rockie is adorable! I just hope those kids don't grow up xenophobic like their parents!
You've got my hopes up!
| WolfGoesBaa chapter 13 . 3/7
You did a good job outlining Dollhouse's history and the conversation between him and Parker was good. Although the numerous grammar issues were grating on me, especially when King was talking. Otherwise, it was a good chapter.
Parker eyed the [piled]. - [pile]
| WolfGoesBaa chapter 12 . 3/7
Hey! I haven't read anything in a while so I thought I'd get back on the horse with this one.
The way you write this makes reading the battle between Parker and the Dolls fun. It's a thrill ride from start to finish. Although sometimes I wonder if your battle are too detailed as that can make the chapter too long.
Parker lifted her [hands palm] up. - (?)
She punched the [magic], but Parker - (Fairy magician?)
guard grabbed a [thing] of keys from his hip... - [ring]
guild children sometimes got the [brute] of their anger, - [brunt]