|Reviews for Home: a Place or a Person?|
| M3rcy chapter 13 . 5/17/2017
This was good. I don't know really what to say about it. I thought for a second near the end that there was a giant plot twist and it was actually Nick in the psychiatric ward, having imagined it all. But I think I just got ahead of myself.
All in all, it was a good read. I liked Nick, and I can understand why he would be so emotionally unstable as he's had a pretty hard life, What with his mom and such. Though I felt like the subconscious voice was a little too cruel to him in some areas, always snapping at him. I could sense he had extremely low self-esteem. Even towards the end when he'd been legally adopted by Darren, and he drinks one night, he still thinks that one slip up and Darren will leave him, even though Darren has made it abundantly clear he loves him as a son.
I also liked the relationship and the warmth between both Darren and Nick. Darren seemed like a really kind and NORMAL guy. He felt like a genuinely good person, and I quite liked him. There were no hidden cards with him and he always spoke the truth and didn't have any ulterior motives.
I would've liked to have seen Nick interact with a few more people though, but I don't think a story this short couldn't handle too many characters. I felt so sorry for his mom, but she did seem like a loose cannon and dangerous if she was in his life.
Susie was also a good character, I liked how she was warm as well and very lively. I would've liked to have seen a little more focus on her relationship with Nick. Even just one convo with them talking without Darren present, but it didn't bother me much either.
Also, the writing was very well done. It felt like it flowed easily, the language was comprehensible and easy on the eyes to read. I liked just, how realistic the characters seemed, but that Darren, Nick, and Susie all seemed like even nicer than real life people.
I felt, however, that the closing line could've been stronger and that there could've been a little more suspense in the story. The first few chapters, while they built the relationship up between Nick and Darren, could've had some more cliff hangers. I still enjoyed reading it but felt that I drifted in and out a few times because not much seemed to be happening.
But those a little nitpicks in a story that overall just gave me the fuzzies with nice characters, good pacing and smooth writing.
I say, continue writing! And I hope my review is helpful -
| Cupcak3 chapter 8 . 3/13/2017
I feel like I am really going to enjoy what this develops into
| Eucatastrophe9 chapter 1 . 1/22/2017
Hi! I just visited this section and found your story.
Coming to the point, I loved this chapter! It didn't have any grammatical mistakes or anything distracting (unless it escaped my eyes xD). I love the plot. The mood you created of a November afternoon was brilliant and anticipation of what night might bring for the boy was amazingly done.
Plus, I loved how you showed the conscience of the boy forced him not to do the wrong.
Darren! For some reason, I can sense he's a fascinating character. Cliffhanger you left this chapter with is with exciting.
Update soon please! I'll be checking this story. :)