|Reviews for Mysterieux|
| Temple Cloud chapter 1 . 4/19/2020
Yes - this looks a lot better developed than the original version, with enough detail to make us able to visualise the characters. I like the way that Alyssa is painfully aware that she's struggling to live up to being everything people expect a queen to be, but still trying. I can see why the young maid is startled that Alyssa, who barely knows her, immediately asks about her family (before even starting with a standard greeting like, 'Hello, it's nice to meet you, what's your name?'). I wonder whether we'll see more of this character as the story progresses.
| Ckh chapter 4 . 6/25/2018
We learn more about the political situation surrounding Evelyn's side of things and it seems like it is terribly traditional. Oh well Ash. Time to become the new ruler I guess.
Descriptions and character motivations remain strong as always. I wonder what will occur when all these differing characters with differing ideologies finally collide.
| Ckh chapter 3 . 6/22/2018
Because I'm a terrible person, I went back and read the original Mysterieux. (or at least what was posted of it) And wow, what a revamp. This chapter doesn't follow the story beats of the original draft at all. Sure, the basic plotline might be around the same but this version is effectively a different beast than the old one. You have a stellar fight scene, more apparent character interactions and the dialogue excels as well. There are a few minor typos here and there but they can be mostly ignored. You did a good job at introducing four new characters and making them feel distinct this early into the story. Now, is the character cast only going to grow...
| Ckh chapter 2 . 6/22/2018
The characterization carries on strong here. The rapid fire conversation between Maxim and Evie reveal their respective ideals and what they stand for and I loved their jabs at one another. Both are assertive, though Maxim is more stubborn and hangs more tightly to his outdated ideals. You leave some interesting lore tidbits within this chapter. Dark angels and seraphims and the dark days...interesting.
The only issue I have with this chapter is the sudden inclusion of present tense midway. "She snaps..."
It could a typo for all I know but I ruins the reading experience albeit. Other than that, a fantastic chapter that manages to build more expectations.
| Ckh chapter 1 . 6/22/2018
Completely agree with your other two reviews. You painted an interesting picture of the world your characters inhabit in this chapter. There seems to a heavy emphasis on the politics side of things, though I feel that this might be a character driven story. Why I say is because you pay close attention to the characters in the story. "Some really had to work at it...one of them." are lines that reveal that Alyssa is not the queen she is all cracked up to be and that she needed to work to achieve her goals. An excellent opening that offers intrigue.
| The-Lost-Cat-Of-Forgotten-Gods chapter 1 . 5/7/2018
I was expecting to see a supernatural story somewhere, but fantasy will do too, haha. You're very describtive, and usually quite accurately too. You've made a good impression on what Alyssa is like and who she is to others, and I think it's an interesting main character to work with. I assume that a lot of her family has died, and that she was forced to take the role of ruler upon herself, but I might be wrong. This story can still go in many directions, however, so I still don't really know what it's going to be, haha - and in that matter, what role this prince is going to play (love interest, villain, both? nothing important?). That said, you focused on characterisation, hinting at what kind of world we're living in, and you are suggesting something dark has happened, so that makes a good first chapter.
| BradytheJust chapter 3 . 2/13/2018
Wow! :D Epic fight scene Zukafu. Truly and wonderfully epic, everything from the rapier materializing from light to Merope's badass threats and wicked sword skills!
And yes, you steal from the thieves when they die, that's how it goes! Recruiting a bandit that tried to kill you... hmm, maybe not the best idea, but they need some allies to aid them.
A great chapter and I can't wait for more! :)
| BradytheJust chapter 2 . 8/4/2017
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! :D *hugs you*
I hope I don't have to wait for next year to get another chapter because if I do, I'll have to pull the "I've been nice to you since we met and you owe me card"
Anyway, this chapter introduced two new characters and I fell for them hard. The lines in this chapter "Like a wounded beast admitting defeat" were perfect and I now hate Maxim for his teaching style (I want to kill him and the man from "Girl-hater")
Amazing job my friend and keep it up!
| BradytheJust chapter 1 . 2/23/2017
Seven years for a story... that's a lot!
Firstly I'm glad you are out of your procrastination/writer's block spell, and I'd like to think I encouraged it. Yay me! :D
Anyway I'm enjoying this story very much, and it was a very good bedtime read. I sense political intrigue, romance, humor, and tension. The past with Adrien and Alyssa is going to be very interesting to explore, and I can't wait to see how our young queen handles all of this.
Great job my friend and I look forward to more! I'm ready to wait!