|Reviews for Heroes Legion Academy: Season 1|
| CrimzonNova510 chapter 3 . 4/17/2017
I think you need to get your timeline fixed. The flashback you said was 18 years ago and you bring up Neil, who you said was 17. Also I noticed in that this story takes place about 40 years in the future from your heroes legion stories. So shouldn't silicon be in his 50's or something. And wouldn't M leader and Stephanie be in their 60's and 70's. I think you need to clear up the time paradox you got going. I still like the story, but your time placement with the settings and characters are throwing me off.
| WolfGoesBaa chapter 1 . 3/19/2017
Your writing seems to have improved since the last time I read World Drifters. I'm glad you're no longer doing that centre and bold thing, this makes the story easier to read. This world you've built does certainly look interesting.
I don't know where your writing this but make sure to insert the double spacing between paragraphs. Also, you bluntly gave us an info dump in Paul and Silicon's phone call. I doubt one would go to a lengthy explanation about where and how superhumans are made to a man whose calling about helping his daughter. It makes no sense. That info should be bled out slowly to the reader with later chapters/episodes.
Here are some mistakes I caught:
...began to change [to] world around her... - [the]
As she slept [up] in her bed - (remove)
about [her] friends she had made in... - [the]
...also a bit [exited] as well - [excited]
on that [persons] mind - [person's]
"wherever ["here"] is that is… - (italics or single quotation marks would've been better)
"I'm sorry dad[ ]" Silicon apologized, "[But] this is important - [,] [but]
Good luck with future episodes!