|Reviews for Atilt on Insolent Waters|
| oh-my-wizard-g0d chapter 1 . 6/30/2017
I was just thinking about this story the other day and decided to check on it. Hope all is well and can't wait for an update.
| London Li chapter 3 . 4/10/2017
More new characters. I always love the original plots and characters you create and these are no exception. Thanks for the new chapter! Looking forward to meeting Drage... Why do I have a bad feeling about that?
| Tapp chapter 3 . 4/9/2017
Interesting. It sort of reminds me of the Sisters Arc from A Certain Scientific Railgun. I can't imagine her doing the same thing for six years without getting any sort of a result or being hunted down or highly wanted by the enemy. Anyways, loving the characterization and hoping to see just what these facilities are and what the actual conflict is.
| LondonLi chapter 2 . 3/28/2017
I always so enjoy your original characters. I love how you give us both of the main characters perspectives and so seamlessly provide the building blocks of every new universe you create. I'm looking forward to getting back into Melinoe's head. Thanks for posting.
| LondonLi chapter 1 . 3/28/2017
You have a new story! And a new universe, and characters... I'm thrilled, I always so enjoy your work. Thank you for posting!
| Lovely Dark Tendencies chapter 1 . 3/27/2017
If she's 14 now, and the next chapter takes place 6 years later, then she would have been ten when she had her first mission. I feel like a 10 year old is too young to be doing what Melinoe is doing (especially if she's alone). Besides her physical stature, the kind of training that would allow her to succeed as smoothly as it did for her should take years, otherwise any random person could do it. It would be hard to justify that the group she belongs to is morally good if they're training extremely young children and sending out 10 year olds on dangerous missions.
A couple of things I'd like to bring up:
If Torin was tortured and his wounds are pretty bad, how can he be such a quick and accurate shot? Even if he doesn't act hurt, it should be physically stressful just to move about.
Why is the same button pressed three times? It would make more sense to either press it once or have three different buttons.
Why is Melinoe wearing jeans? It's really impractical for various reasons and would be pretty poor at storing tools, let alone a bomb. An exterior pouch might make more sense.
The premise of the story seems alright so far. However, I find the sassing to be a little much, given the situation she's in.
Side note: I think 'of' should have been 'off' in the phrase "echoed of the stone walls".