|Reviews for Fissures|
| Supreme Gamesmaster Yddisac chapter 1 . 3/28/2017
Hm. The imagery is certainly vivid, but without any context behind these two, this just looks like a story of Benito being a dick. :v
Since you asked about the dialogue: This isn't really a dialogue, is it? Shae is talking and Benito is talking, but neither of them hears each other. The dialogue in this story does do its purpose, and it does communicate the rift between Benito and Shae better than the over-the-top choreography. If you wanted to work more with dialogue, I'd recommend doing a conversation where the people involved are actually listening to each other next.