|Reviews for Shattered Fortress II: Adversaries|
| The Warrior Poet chapter 7 . 2/28/2018
We get some tantalizing tidbits of your history and lore here. The idea of multiple Crystifices is interesting, and the likelihood that the humans on Bron Nasaal are the last ones left is grim indeed. In most fantasty stories it is every race BUT humans that is fading out so I like to see that convention turned on its head here.
Barash continues to put pressure to Cyrus to get water from Moana. I have a feeling that friction is not going to end well for Cyrus or the Dryn Mar. The tension builds.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 6 . 2/2/2018
Azad is a very complex character.
His love for his family (and his complex efforts to hide them from the rest of Bron Nasaal ) shows that he is not heartless. it shows just the opposite in fact.
Despite that, his casual disgust for Cyrus and the Dryn Mar displays a very dark facet to his personality. Perhaps his ability to love more fully than the rest of Bron Nasaal also grants him the ability to hate more fully as well. There is an interesting philosophical conflict that emerges from that line of thinking.
Cyrus’ reaction to Azad’s accusations seems to show that Cyrus does, indeed, have feelings for Moana. “Love is weird” to say the least.
I knew it would only be a matter of time before the push for Moana to create water again would gain force. Will this be the spark that finally leads to the Dryn Mar rattling their cages?
| The Warrior Poet chapter 5 . 1/26/2018
I can tell how shaken Moana was by the mere suggestion that Matka could somehow be involved in Taleb’s injury. He must be a fiersome foe to inspire such fear in the Dryn’Mar.
Zee’s infiltration of the Crystifice comes to a predictable end, and I am left to wonder how Cyrus will react to the appearance of the boy. Azad may be forced to take Cyrus in to his confidence, or the discovery could lead Azad to view Cyrus as the enemy and take steps to silence him.
Chax represents another threat to Azad’s planning, and I am interested to see how he plans on covering his tracks with everything falling apart around him.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 4 . 1/22/2018
Cyrus’ sudden, uncontrolled link with Moana is certainly curious. I find myself wondering if it could be a result of his relationship and emotional bond with her, or whether it is due to something else entirely. I can’t help but wonder what Cyrus is planning with the Humar, though I do have some notion.
Ah, stupid stupid Zee. His imaginative play session on the Dryn ship was entertaining if reckless, but nowhere near as reckless as wandering the Crystifice. I suppose this is what happens when you keep kids cooped up for too long.
I would be extremely surprised if he was able to pull this off. My only question is who will discover him?
| Inala chapter 13 . 1/15/2018
Wow again. So much happened. And such conspiracy!
A beautifully crafted story again. So much happens in your description and prose. You have crafted a truly excellent story. I'm at a loss for words really. So many twists and turns, you kept me guessing the whole way.
I can't wait to see what you cook up next!
| Inala chapter 12 . 1/15/2018
Bryne did't want this... didn't.
Mady has picked... had.
curios object... curious.
Ah, double ah.
People who read my reviews in the future might think I'm crazy! Well now they know.
| Inala chapter 11 . 1/15/2018
The rest of the Dryn mar... Mar.
gathered Dryn Mar... needs a period.
Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no. I think that sums up my thoughts.
| Inala chapter 10 . 1/15/2018
H decided to look... He
Wow. O M G. And any other expletives you can think of.
Moving on. I. Must. Have. More.
| Inala chapter 9 . 1/15/2018
If Drym Mar could... dryn.
What interesting developments! I believe you've left enough clues that I've figured out a few things that are happening, but how they unfold we shall see.
Great work again, as usual.
| Inala chapter 8 . 1/15/2018
Ela saw the something... don't need the, but maybe you want it there.
processed that informationl... information.
Oh dear what developments! Love, not love, more love, ah!
So now he wants to protege dryn, my how the mighty have fallen and could fall. I'd love to see him human. A good decking is exactly what he needs.
Loving it. Can't stop.
| Inala chapter 7 . 1/15/2018
I expected more drama because of the reveal... but maybe there will be because of Barash. They keep talking about him very negatively. I doubt he'd like it if he knew. I feel like Zee is gonna cause more trouble, but it remains to be seen.
Another great chapter! I saw no errors. Good job.
| Inala chapter 6 . 1/14/2018
Azad struggled with out... how...
Indeed it he had... if.
Oh dear, Azad is gonna get in so much trouble for all this! Although I can see trouble coming Cyrus' way cause the love isn't allowed :p ... I dislike there way of life, you already know.
Another excellent offering! I especially liked Cyrus' they're people too speech. More people need to say it, and we only have one people on our world... oh well. I'm looking forward to reading another. The holiday lull is lifted and life and responsibility are creeping back in on me. So I'll do my best to catch up and keep with this great story! :)
| The Warrior Poet chapter 3 . 1/9/2018
Interfacing, the Pattern, and the Crystifice itself, remain the three most fascinatig aspects of your story. You always do a great job at of describing these sections and giving your reader a glimpse of what the characters are seeing as they navigate.
The lays of the pattern become more complex each time it gets explored, like a cartographer mapping a coastline. Infact, if you were ever to publish this story, a map of the pattern would be a smart (and very original) addition to make.
The Dryn Mar seem to be getting along well enough with the distraction of their bouts, but I can’t help but wonder how long it will be before they begin to strain at their leashes.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 2 . 1/5/2018
Two of the Dryn Mar have become humans, now? Whaaaa? Definitely an interesting turn of events that I would never in a million years have guessed. ‘Humar’ is a good thing to call them, I think.
The idea of the Divide -and way that Zee uses it- is a wonderfully clever little addition to your world building.
In fact, I really liked getting behind the eyes of Zee again in this chapter. He brings a sense of interest and wonder to Bron Nasaal that we -as the readers- can easily identify with. Zee’s confusion as to why his parents are sweaty after he comes back from being sent away was good for a chuckle, also :).
Azad’s ultimate plan for bringing about change on Bron Nasaal certainly seems less ominous than I’d originally assumed. Providing an example to the island of two successful family relationships may not be as easy as Azad thinks, though. You can nurture love, perhaps, but once you try to force it things don’t tend to end well. Still, I have to admire Azad’s resolve. Though his family situation is less than ideal, it does seem as though they have been able to thrive in hiding.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 1 . 12/31/2017
I liked this:
“Yes, he would see through her like a thin crystal, and she would be just as easily shattered.”
Nice update here with a small recap of the last five months along with a “where are they now.”
The fight was well done and a good way to start things back up afte the time gap. Reading about the Dryn Mar sparring, I can’t help but remember one of my favorite fighting games from back in the day, “Killer Instinct”. If the Dryn Mar are still trying to escape, though, I have to wonder at the wisdom of demonstrating their battle prowess to their captors.
We have some good conflicts set up right from the get go. Azad is still wanting to overthrow the government of Bron Nasaal, or at least introduce massive reform. He is still keeping s close eye on Cyrus, as well.
Ela is developing romantic feelings toward Cyrus but is trying to run away from them. Cyrus was becoming quite fond of Moana in part one, though, so I am left to wonder if some kind of triangle will develop betwixt the three?
Moana is not producing water for irrigation as was hoped and this may portend more questions about the Dryn Mar’s usefulness to Bron Nasaal. It was Moana’s Drycana that preserved them in the first story, after all.
Lots of questions to explore, and I am looking forward to what’s to come in part 2!