|Reviews for Shattered Fortress II: Adversaries|
| alltheeagles chapter 2 . 4/18/2017
I rather like where the main plot seems to leading - some kind of peaceful revolt, or an alternative way of life. I think it would be even stronger if you highlighted the contrast between the present status quo and what Azad is proposing (or dreaming of).
Zee is adorable. His POV makes a nice change from the terminology-heavy bits when the others are involved. Is he supposed to be representing the alternative way of life? In that case, I don't think many of the residents would be attracted - hard-earned lizard stew is no substitute for regular food, no matter how bland it may be.
Typo: MANE not main, STEW not strew
| alltheeagles chapter 1 . 4/16/2017
Hi! Welcome back! :)
Firstly, I just want to ask, is this piece meant to be read only after finishing part 1, or can it stand on its own? Being in the know, so to speak, I had no problem jumping into the middle it, but I'd say that for a first-time reader there are some major adjustments - the scene-shifting, the relative lack of background about the Dryn Mar (All that can be gleaned is that they're not human, having tails and scales) and even basic concepts like Cerebromancy. On the positive side, it'd stir up a mighty load of curiosity!
Anyway, my reaction as a returning reader is that I like the new character (that lisp is rather endearing) and the fresh info on Arbiters is also cool. Can't wait for dear old Cyrus to make an appearance.
Typo: Each blow (capitalisation)