Reviews for Jack Simple
Upsy Daisy chapter 2 . 5/21/2019
"Jack had never felt comfortable with the idea of sleeping in a bed that had been so long inhabited by his old master..."

I relate to that on a personal level. Me neither, Jack. Ugh. Plus, who doesn't love a good loft? His circular window and slanted roof nook is definitely cozy reading corner material.

"His experiences in the orphanage..."

Ooh, some backstory hinted at. Whatever happened to Jack in the orphanage, he seems quite happy with his life at the moment, so that's nice!

Love that Jack feels the need to look in the mirror in anticipation of Eidna's return. This is such a small detail, but so true to life. And little details like his rain barrel and the hearts carved into the tree bring so much life to the setting.

As the reader, I'm not sure that Jack knows what love is at this point in the story. He's certainly infatuated! I think when you've lived alone for a long time, pleasant company (especially of the handsome or beautiful sort) is a bit overwhelming. In some ways it's humorous to observe his discomfort and enchantment as an onlooker, but you've done such a good job of conveying his ineptitude and awkwardness that it almost makes ME uncomfortable.

All that said, I would tell Jack (if he could hear me) to be careful... Eidna is very charming, but you did only meet her yesterday. It strikes me to be a very, very bad idea to let her come, since it would be her word against 'simple Jack's' if she's from a prestigious family or has any sort of clout in town. At the same time, I can't say I wouldn’t have done the same myself in his predicament...
Upsy Daisy chapter 1 . 5/5/2019
I don’t always enjoy "telling" up front in stories, but it’s an old-fashioned way to begin a book (or novella) and it can be done very well… the problem is that some writers see it as an excuse to info-dump straightaway and bore their readers to death. This is not one of those stories, because you’ve presented the information in a very friendly, interesting way. The opening paragraphs are concise enough that they held my interest until the main character had a chance to take shape on the page: you have a knack for setting up a lot of backstory with very few words. His nickname is clever and instantly makes him a likable, relatable protagonist.

Names like "Fralefday" and "Brecht" lend a sense of history to the world right away, and "Fralefday" in particular has a very Scandinavian ring to it. We’re instantly immersed in the world, instead of having every detail explained to us by an omniscient narrator.

"Stupid, as far as Jack was concerned, was paying for something that Mother Nature gave away for free."

This line is gold: it emphasizes his skill as a woodsman, adds an element of casual sarcasm to his personality, and it’s funny that despite his reputation as being simple he sees himself as effectively conning the townspeople out of their money!

It’s become a trope in modern fantasy to replace your average, everyday maiden with a battle-hardened huntress. It’s fun when done well, but I like to see characters reflect the reality I know now and then. Eidna’s character, however fleeting her introduction, has a genuine spark of mystery and whimsy, and it’s believable that such a quick-tongued and inquisitive woman might have caught Jack's eye...

Why is she flirting with Jack? Is it just because she wants something? Does she have a thing for reclusive woodcutters? How will he handle this unlooked for but not unwelcome attention? I tend to dislike "insta-love" in books, because it is often badly written and therefore unearned, leaving me with no investment in the relationship. While I was surprised at how quickly they hit it off, it was enjoyable to read. Friendly banter is always welcome!

Her comment about "befuddled with three marcs worth of beer" was very canny. I like that she calls him Woodsman at the end, despite everyone apparently knowing his name.

It was my pleasure to review this!
Kanna-sama chapter 2 . 10/7/2018
The more I read, the more I fall in love with Jack. He's such a fun character, struggling against any feelings he's developing for Eidna. I love the imagery you have in your descriptions, as well. I can really tell that you've researched materials and the lifestyle of villagers - it gives it a sense of realism to it that is lacking in a lot of fantasy writing. I laughed out loud at the line, "Could she have come already, as he slothfully lingered in sleep?" It fit Jack's personality so well!
Kanna-sama chapter 1 . 10/6/2018
This is a great first chapter! It really draws you into the character of Jack - looking forward to reading more!
RainbowPearls chapter 10 . 9/10/2018
Wow! The ending was indeed was satisfactory and pleasing.

I now understood his motives and I'm glad that it worked. Edna saved herself by obeying Jack and now they are...together! :)

I hope they can pursue a better life from here on and I'm glad that Raspor on longer part of the story! XD

Great short story!
RainbowPearls chapter 9 . 9/10/2018
There seem some secret plan behind what Jack was doing. He seems way too clever here.


Edna's discomfort was really a pity. Her clothing was really embarrassing and I seriously feel bad for her and the way Mayor intimaded her :'(

I look ahead what Jack has in store.
RainbowPearls chapter 8 . 9/10/2018
Well, finally here they meet. Seriously, this Mayor is very subtle and clever, he clearly noted that Jack wanted something from him and Jack lied it as friendship.

Seriously, anyone would have blurted out their motives at that command and snide smile if Mayor but he refrained. ..

Cool, looking ahead for more of Edna/Jack
RainbowPearls chapter 7 . 9/6/2018
This is called trials and tests of time for true love xD

Though I'm pretty much upset that how broken Eidna is and she is afraid of the aftermath of the feast, I guess Jack will prove his love true even after that.

I just hope he better prevents what's find probably happen with her. The appearance of the gown very much proves the perverted intentions of the Mayor.

There is something Jack have to worry and help in his life- a step away from his simplicity. His shadowing of Eidna and resisting from reaction to Raspor proves his determined intention of helping her.

Nice! :)
RainbowPearls chapter 6 . 9/4/2018
This meeting was a little jarring from my thoughts. But it's okay. Raspor in indeed greedy and it's clearly depicted through his attitude. I wonder how Hack tolerates them bit that's what is needed when you're dealing with such unruly bastards.

I seriously pity Eidna and i can see how broken she is at how she couldn't be with Jack. Her responsibilities are far more important to her than being infatuated with Jack.

I really like how Jack tries to arrange a meeting with Mayor in order to save her from the aftermath perversion of the feast.
RainbowPearls chapter 5 . 9/4/2018
Yeah...and I know what he's gonna do; burn them. I seriously find it hard to believe that Eidna still loves her father after what he is and he doesn't give a darn of what is going to happen with her- I can't believe her...* sighs*

The perversions should be halted through some way. Can Rapson be a help? I seriously pity Eidna. Though I can say both of them have fallen in love, the destiny seems a little different.

I hope Jack finds a better way to save her...Hmmm.
RainbowPearls chapter 4 . 9/4/2018
Seriously, even I was wondering how come they have landed in such an intimate scene and yeah, it was indeed a Rude awakening for Jack.

Eidna's curiosity got better off her but she was saved- thanks to LightFoot, I'm sure the dog was even scared like Eidna.

I feel bad about her family and how helplessly they are in the cruel hands of the Mayor. And here are some she, shouldering the responsibility of getting the spring wine. The last word implies that she's reluctant to return back to the place she doesn't really like.
RainbowPearls chapter 3 . 9/4/2018
Haha, this was interesting chapter! I was laughing so hard when she tried smoking. Really Jack is becoming a little far from his simplicity and reserved nature.

Eidna's reaction at this - "If I were a doggo I would fall in love with you too," Jack tried- was hilarious and more than that I liked how how Jack tried. Eidna would actually make a good partner for a guy like Jack, seriously ;)

On the other note, I think that Eidna hasn't traveled much to appreciate the beauty of nature. It's a good trip for her too! :)
RainbowPearls chapter 2 . 9/4/2018
Wow! Rapson seems some jerk who's intended on locking up Jack by any kind of accusations. I really like Eidna. Her interaction with Lightfoot was so cute; I actually liked it because that shocked Jack- something I enjoyed.

Eidna's dressing is descent and cool. Her appearance and presence is very much elegant and lights the aura. I can't believe or I find it amusing of the developing feelings of Jack towards the Lady. XD

The spring wine seems very much essential for her and thus she's trusting or day risking going along with Jack.

Cool! :)
RainbowPearls chapter 1 . 9/4/2018
Sweet. Jack is a little cold like type- much like Kai I would say ;) His uneasiness with aspects like possible flirtation and being little attracted and surprised was all perfect and I was grinning the whole time reading that.

Though I was completely shocked at his demand from six- double of the already handsomely offer Eidna made, I thing that was just him.

I completely agree with his perception that simple life avoid complications and bring the real joys in life. Avoiding useless unnecessary chitchat with people saves lot of our time and mind- I try like am convinced with his perception.

Liked the start! :D
zanybellecloudo chapter 10 . 7/1/2018
Oh Jack, you clever boy! It all makes sense now, but a big risk regardless. I wonder if he could have traded the land for her, yet the no hunting might have nulled it void and caused future problems. Thus, his plan was anything but simple! The true moral of the story is found, most brilliantly. I'm pleased it worked out for them both. Great stuff, ZB.
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