|Reviews for Jack Simple|
| RainbowPearls chapter 8 . 9/10/2018
Well, finally here they meet. Seriously, this Mayor is very subtle and clever, he clearly noted that Jack wanted something from him and Jack lied it as friendship.
Seriously, anyone would have blurted out their motives at that command and snide smile if Mayor but he refrained. ..
Cool, looking ahead for more of Edna/Jack
| RainbowPearls chapter 7 . 9/6/2018
This is called trials and tests of time for true love xD
Though I'm pretty much upset that how broken Eidna is and she is afraid of the aftermath of the feast, I guess Jack will prove his love true even after that.
I just hope he better prevents what's find probably happen with her. The appearance of the gown very much proves the perverted intentions of the Mayor.
There is something Jack have to worry and help in his life- a step away from his simplicity. His shadowing of Eidna and resisting from reaction to Raspor proves his determined intention of helping her.
| RainbowPearls chapter 6 . 9/4/2018
This meeting was a little jarring from my thoughts. But it's okay. Raspor in indeed greedy and it's clearly depicted through his attitude. I wonder how Hack tolerates them bit that's what is needed when you're dealing with such unruly bastards.
I seriously pity Eidna and i can see how broken she is at how she couldn't be with Jack. Her responsibilities are far more important to her than being infatuated with Jack.
I really like how Jack tries to arrange a meeting with Mayor in order to save her from the aftermath perversion of the feast.
| RainbowPearls chapter 5 . 9/4/2018
Yeah...and I know what he's gonna do; burn them. I seriously find it hard to believe that Eidna still loves her father after what he is and he doesn't give a darn of what is going to happen with her- I can't believe her...* sighs*
The perversions should be halted through some way. Can Rapson be a help? I seriously pity Eidna. Though I can say both of them have fallen in love, the destiny seems a little different.
I hope Jack finds a better way to save her...Hmmm.
| RainbowPearls chapter 4 . 9/4/2018
Seriously, even I was wondering how come they have landed in such an intimate scene and yeah, it was indeed a Rude awakening for Jack.
Eidna's curiosity got better off her but she was saved- thanks to LightFoot, I'm sure the dog was even scared like Eidna.
I feel bad about her family and how helplessly they are in the cruel hands of the Mayor. And here are some she, shouldering the responsibility of getting the spring wine. The last word implies that she's reluctant to return back to the place she doesn't really like.
| RainbowPearls chapter 3 . 9/4/2018
Haha, this was interesting chapter! I was laughing so hard when she tried smoking. Really Jack is becoming a little far from his simplicity and reserved nature.
Eidna's reaction at this - "If I were a doggo I would fall in love with you too," Jack tried- was hilarious and more than that I liked how how Jack tried. Eidna would actually make a good partner for a guy like Jack, seriously ;)
On the other note, I think that Eidna hasn't traveled much to appreciate the beauty of nature. It's a good trip for her too! :)
| RainbowPearls chapter 2 . 9/4/2018
Wow! Rapson seems some jerk who's intended on locking up Jack by any kind of accusations. I really like Eidna. Her interaction with Lightfoot was so cute; I actually liked it because that shocked Jack- something I enjoyed.
Eidna's dressing is descent and cool. Her appearance and presence is very much elegant and lights the aura. I can't believe or I find it amusing of the developing feelings of Jack towards the Lady. XD
The spring wine seems very much essential for her and thus she's trusting or day risking going along with Jack.
| RainbowPearls chapter 1 . 9/4/2018
Sweet. Jack is a little cold like type- much like Kai I would say ;) His uneasiness with aspects like possible flirtation and being little attracted and surprised was all perfect and I was grinning the whole time reading that.
Though I was completely shocked at his demand from six- double of the already handsomely offer Eidna made, I thing that was just him.
I completely agree with his perception that simple life avoid complications and bring the real joys in life. Avoiding useless unnecessary chitchat with people saves lot of our time and mind- I try like am convinced with his perception.
Liked the start! :D
| zanybellecloudo chapter 10 . 7/1/2018
Oh Jack, you clever boy! It all makes sense now, but a big risk regardless. I wonder if he could have traded the land for her, yet the no hunting might have nulled it void and caused future problems. Thus, his plan was anything but simple! The true moral of the story is found, most brilliantly. I'm pleased it worked out for them both. Great stuff, ZB.
| zanybellecloudo chapter 8 . 7/1/2018
I liked that you actually considered Eidna's mistrust and testing of the relationship, especially given her poor experience and fears. What I would love to see is a building of Jack and Eidna's relationship when he goes to visit her through dialogue. This would add greatly to the story to show how they build a connection, maybe with jokes or sharing inner most thoughts etc. Hopefully that makes sense.
Hmm? I expected Jack to ask for Eidna as part of the exchange. Has he just given his land without any real promise? And can he get it back should the Mayor not agree? What if they just kill him now they have the land? So many questions. I must read on, I guess...
| zanybellecloudo chapter 7 . 7/1/2018
Oh, the last line was sad. I think Jack's plan could work, he is giving up everything to save her which is very noble and true to his nature. I'm glad Eidna pointed out they hardly know each other, the honesty of that conversation actually makes their match seem more real. As I noted before, the Shakespearean love at first sight is very much for the young and foolish, I just hope this pair don't end up so ill-fated. Still, it is true to Jack's simple and gentle essence, who has lacked the warmth of others despite being fully deserving. In that sense, I would expect him to fall in love quickly and deeply. In other ways, I worry for him, in case he is misled and used. A very loveable character and that is to your credit. Thanks for sharing, ZB.
| zanybellecloudo chapter 5 . 6/22/2018
The Weeper is an incredibly lovely story. A Winter creature who lives in isolation, seeped beneath the comfort of snow and ice. Much like a person who is accustomed only to loneliness and coldness from the rest of the world. Yet, a warming Spring creature awakes his heart and he can only watch, silently from afar. The concept of inner warmth and coldness are topics I write on often, so when I read this fable it was a welcomed sight. I would love to see the Weeper as a longer story, perhaps fulfilling the end with death by a warming embrace, willingly accepted. I digress...
I must admit, quick romances read strangely to me. Purely because they stem from lust rather than anything deeper. However, when the true terrible tale came to light the shock was felt by both Jack and the reader. Yet, I'm certain they will find a way. I look forward to reading more as the star-crossed lovers battle against the rest of the world. ZB.
| zanybellecloudo chapter 4 . 6/22/2018
I would always put dream sequences in italics, unless you purposely wished mislead the reader. One of the reasons Jack's character is a good read is because he seems a better representation of male personalities, a refreshing break from the cold and distant characters most stories include. His upbringing particularly gave him more realness and endearment "he could feel the ghosts of those companions still. They would probably never leave him. Never fully."
I'm unsure why she would just take the gun to fire it. I believe there is more to her story than we yet know. ZB.
| zanybellecloudo chapter 3 . 6/6/2018
Haha, that was a nice chapter and I liked its shortness. Again, there is an ease to the way the characters are written, almost as if they are real! I’m sure her feet were blushing profusely. Jack and Eidna have great banter, which actually highlights how easy they feel in each other’s company. I’m not a particular fan of ‘romance’ novels, however I did write one, once, and it does remind me of that. Very heart-warming and you can really feel the author is immersed in the characters, which is lovely to see. The description of the surroundings were very well written and painted a vivid place in the reader’s mind. The way the woodsmoke faded into the earthy forest and the brightest of the stars made it feel very real. I also happen to love forests, and also happened to write much of my novel in one too. Always seems a good setting for love to bloom, and maybe danger to follow...? Looking forward to reading more, ZB
| zanybellecloudo chapter 2 . 6/6/2018
I liked that you only use as many words as necessary to tell the story. That is an incredibly difficult talent to master. Often writers will waffle on needlessly, but each word you've use pays tribute to the story seamlessly. Even the small token of the mirror, and how a young man becomes allured by a strong-headed women wants to look his best for her. It's a good start to their tale. I can understand his reluctance to go with her, and I half expected he wouldn't. But the line about the villagers being stupid would sway even the most resistant of heart. Looking forward to reading more, ZB.