|Reviews for Hyperburst|
| Joeson chapter 1 . 4/11/2021
These are the type of stories I love to read. I hope I can see your work in NovelStar. There are also a lot of talented writers in that platform. You may check their group on Facebook.
| Eli8iR chapter 2 . 4/26/2017
Hmmm. It's still good but... I think your progression is too slow. You've written twelve thousand words already and yet you've barely explained anything satisfactorily. Sure, I'm not saying you should do nothing but explain, so maybe you could try explaining a few things properly and then saving the rest for later?
Also, rather than switching from first to third person, why not just write the entire story in third person so you can switch POVs instead?
And as for Alex, her change seems too instantaneous. One minute she's this bratty, over-privileged "princess" and now she's just... okay. It would have been better (I think) if you had taken the time to show her character develop, because it looks to me like she and Lucas could make a great pair (and I don't mean that in the romantic sense).
Anyway, keep at it. The story is good and I'm sure it will get better.
| Eli8iR chapter 1 . 4/25/2017
It's good. Really is. There were a few typos here and there but... eh.
Also, Milesworth looks like an interesting character, and King even more so. I'm sure they'll make a great pair.
Keep it up.