|Reviews for Blood-Stained Hope|
| JayDeePub chapter 1 . 7/7
Very well done. This opening chapter makes the reader desire to read on into the next and the next. Very “action” oriented without disruptions of “passive voice”. Nicely done. That being said, below are a few impressions I have as a reader coming fresh upon this tale.
- There may be too many characters introduced in this first chapter - hard to keep track of them all.
- You mention “monsters” and what they may have done to people. But then the dialogue takes over and the monsters are left by the wayside. Perhaps allude to what they are and what they did. You don’t have to give a full description - that will come later - but through dialogue or immediate visual clues the characters come across during the scene, perhaps give “glimpses” f what is to come. This would make the reader want to continue into later chapters and build some suspense.
- Very good dialogue but it may pause the action too much at this critical juncture in the tale, which is the “hook” to keep the reader attentive to move forward into the next scenes.
- This feels like a “campfire chat”, or a pause in the action that allows the reader and the characters to catch their breath. Refer to the cabin scene in Jaws or the campfire scene in The Ghost and the Darkness, or a dozen others. The characters have been through hell and are about to go through a lot more and momentarily get a chance to “reflect” on events and to “bond” over shared experiences (also allows the reader to relate and become more invested). The characters at campfire chats let loose of things they’ve bottled up over the previous chapters. Suddenly in Chapter four or five, etc. the characters are given a break and let it all out. You explain quite a bit in this first chapter but remember you have plenty of time to explain it all later once you hook the reader, which you have done very well.
These are just my observations and not in anyway meant to be absolute truths. This is your story and should only progress as you see fit. Bottom line, I really enjoyed the read and would want to read more. Good luck.
| Curviness Icecream chapter 8 . 3/11
my stories are better. git gud at writing!
| potato chapter 1 . 8/31/2017
this good story
| rachelduncan1999 chapter 1 . 4/25/2017
I love where you are taking this story... You, my friend, are going places.