Reviews for Mesmer
Amyisacinnamonroll chapter 19 . 2/17
Aaaaaah! I love this story soo much! I can't wait for it to continue, but in the mean time I'm going to start reading Cornelis :D
Amyisacinnamonroll chapter 11 . 2/17
Ooof! This chapter was intense! But it's so interesting to see Phyllis begin to use her powers for something more dark. Again: I just love the way you write! The characters are so wonderful, I could keep reading forever :)
alltheeagles chapter 19 . 11/28/2017
I like how genuine their interaction is, especially the point on how Marcus let slip things about his family without meaning to. I identify with that - I won't purposely tell people about my personal life, but when I'm with a friend, the details just slip out.
Spiritus... is Marcus' ex-tutor? I can't quite recall. And what happened to Anagalu's horse? Can't remember that either.
alltheeagles chapter 18 . 11/13/2017
I'm having a bit of difficulty keeping the plot straight. The last time I was here, there was a fuss over a contraceptive potion, and now we have two hangings? It seems a bit abrupt. But it does drive home the seriousness of the offence of visiting Mesmer without permission, which had perhaps been not so obvious previously. *sigh* Mesmer was the happy tale and Cornelis the gloomy one at one time, and now it seems it's the other way round?
alltheeagles chapter 17 . 10/29/2017
That potion DID turn out to be trouble, but not in the way I'd expected. I liked the way you weaved in the background info on children born out of wedlock in the two societies. Anagalus turns out to be a 'good guy' after all. Is there something brewing between him and Pimpernella? At least they're both Roman so they can get together without the MarcPhyl angst :D
alltheeagles chapter 16 . 10/15/2017
Wow, this is a mind-blowing chapter, for all its relative calmness. First we have a new character, who sounds like he could give Phellan (who isn't in this story, fortunately) a run for his money. Then we have what looked like the start of an angst-fest between Marcus and Phyllis, but it blew over quickly, and then we have Marcus asking for a contraceptive? For whom? Why? Oh geez, are there going to be some little ones coming who aren't wanted?
alltheeagles chapter 15 . 9/11/2017
Ah, so THAT's how Marcus became optio? I like this explanation very much! I also won't pretend that I liked that he didn't do anything with Leia beyond play that game, despite what I gamely said about wanting to read about Marcus in an awkward situation. I dunno, I guess I'm being a snob too, in that I don't want Marcus to have any trysts for no other reason that he's the leading man.
alltheeagles chapter 14 . 8/27/2017
I'm happy about this turn of events, generally speaking. As I've mentioned before, I hate reading about angry people, and boy were the lot of them angry. So I'm looking forward to a little comic relief if there's any coming - Marcus being awkward with a lady should be fun to read about! As for would I be mad if he actually used the services in a brothel, well, no, not really. Phyllis is much too young for him to take things any further right now, and they've never made any kind of commitment to each other so he's doing nothing wrong. I just hope he uses protection (that'd be... goat skin? Ewww.)
alltheeagles chapter 13 . 8/13/2017
It was definitely a talky chapter. Which I can take, generally, if the dialogue is good. And in this case, it was, just that (nitpicky point) your punctuation could be spruced up a little. Still, maybe you could have added in a little more description of what the other people in the room were doing while Marcus and Phyllis were yelling at each other.

Phyllis at the end of the previous chapter was in a contrite mood but here she's positively angry at Marcus, so what happened in between to change her mind? Marcus was more consistent, but yeah, he didn't do the 'I thought we're friends' thing, just 'WTH were you thinking, do you realise what you've done (to me)?' I'm on his side, incidentally. I could totally smack Phyllis right now.
alltheeagles chapter 12 . 8/11/2017
For a moment there I thought Marcus was going to make a run for it and become a fugitive. But nah, then there would have to be a longgggggggg detour before we get back to Marcus and Phyllis in Cornelis, even if it might make a mighty good yarn.

Interestingly, Marcus had no thoughts against Phyllis in his bit of the narrative, whereas Phyllis was all about damage control for what she'd done to him. Well, I'd thought there'd be a bit more angst on his part (oh phyllis how could you i thought we were friends) and maybe a bit of defiance on hers (those stupid romans, they're ruining my life!)
alltheeagles chapter 11 . 8/7/2017
Yep, this is definitely not a bright and happy chapter. If I hadn't read Cornelis, I'd be suspecting some outside power to have taken Phyllis over because this is so greatly at odds with the sunny and essentially 'good' nature she's been portrayed as having so far, even if she's also shown to have negative traits like stubbornness and disobedience. But having this knowledge, I see instead how you're introducing her dark streak. And you decided to do so in a very dramatic and abrupt manner, and what the heck, throw in her friend as the innocent bystander. Whew... it never rains but it pours, huh?
alltheeagles chapter 10 . 8/6/2017
The Phyllis of Mesmer is a cheery, albeit wild, little thing and she's fun to read, particularly her witty exchanges. It'd be interesting to see how you develop her character into the darker one in Cornelis. As for Phylip, he got fleshed out nicely in this chapter so he isn't just the stereotypical nerdy classmate anymore. Is it even possible to learn to be a druid by studying alone? How about the practical part? And who's going to give him the equivalent of the druid entrance exam? I thought the Romans wiped out all the druids and outlawed the whole religion, actually.
alltheeagles chapter 9 . 7/25/2017
I have to keep reminding myself that Marcus doesn't know Phyllis that well yet when I come to this story cause I've come to think of them almost like an old married couple in Cornelis. I suppose one could read a whole lot of symbolism into the bridle, on Marcus unconsciously wanting to figuratively tame Phyllis, but I'm going to just take it at face value. So the choice of gift was perfect and I'd love Marcus to be my personal shopper too. :D
alltheeagles chapter 8 . 7/8/2017
Marcus is much more relaxed here, is my first impression. the last time I met him he'd been in a fight with Cornelis and he was a bit grumpy. But then that's another story so I shouldn't be mixing scenarios. Well we get introduced to some more new characters. I think I might need a cheat sheet soon to keep track of who's who, especialy since I'm trying to read two ongoing stories at the same time. Anyway, the main characters are true to themselves - Phyllis running into armour and getting stuck had me laughing out loud!
alltheeagles chapter 7 . 6/18/2017
Who said your writing is short on descriptions? There was a tonne here! I think you did a fantastic job on making the buildings come alive because I don't usually pay attention to buildings, but you managed to make Mesmer and even the Castra stand out to me, almost as if they were characters in their own right. I felt immersed in this world, like I want to explore it together with Marcus. I liked as well how you hinted at the 'problem' of Phyllis' budding charms, and how you managed to treat the matter with delicacy rather than crude directness.

Typos: for him not TO see it, commented ON the sight, hanging OFF it
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