|Reviews for The Girl in the Rain|
| Harmony'sLoveHP chapter 1 . 7/9/2017
Such a great story! You had a really good beginning. I was hooked the moment that I read those first few lines. I loved your twist on the prompt. It was different, but it worked.
The sarcasm. It works so well with the story. It takes the edge off of the story, but adds an edge at the same time if that's possible. Like, it somehow makes it lighter and darker all at once, but it works. It helps to keep the story interesting (not that it wouldn't be interesting without it because I'm pretty sure it would be just as good :)).
Wow, the ending, though! It seemed like things were going to be okay, but then the plot twist! Wow.
A great story and a twisted take on the prompt, but for some reason I loved it! Does that make me just as crazy as the MC? It's crazy to think that there are really people who would do something like this and I think that just adds to the intensity of the story...
| Julietish chapter 1 . 7/6/2017
I had no idea what this was going to turn into. The thing that stands out the most: the twist. I loved the twist. I don't usually get to see this kind of thriller response to Star-Cross'd entries, and I'm so glad that you wrote it like this. The effect of having the narrator address the detective is eerie and chilling in the best way. I also loved the story of how the narrator and their partner met-so innocent and strange with no sign of what was to come. The end was particularly terrifying in the same kind of way that the music in The Shining was. I can't get over the narrator's complete lack of remorse after he confesses to the crime. The narration style made this short story what it was- I liked the standalone lines that would come after paragraphs and the morbid questions that were immediately answered. Thank you so much for writing this! I had such a wonderful, nerveracking time reading it.
| fellintothemoon chapter 1 . 6/30/2017
10/10 would rec
OKAY this review has took me a few days, but I haven't been on FP in such a long time it took me like an hour to remember how to find your profile lmao. ANYWAY: I'm so about this.
First of all, you've got an unconventional narrative going on. Then, there's the surprise male POV. And, I mean, hey he murdered his true love and all, but you explore his character enough in this short piece to humanize him to the audience. It's just an overall reallt engaging story which I totally devoured the first time I read it. I'm so happy you're back into writing, girl. Where else am I gonna get quality crime fics?
| Mr. Ree chapter 1 . 6/26/2017
Yo Helen this was awesome! Totally reinforces my apprehension with both people obsessed with power and law enforcement (who tend to power trip lets be real). It reminds me of this short Edgar Allen Poe short story I read the other day "The Cask of Amontillado" which was kind of similar in that it was about a killing told from the killers point of view. I can't help but wonder what this was like through her perspective though, and I wonder what about him she actually fell in love with since he doesn't seem like that great a dude, but those are just random questions because the way you did this was exactly how it should have been done! Dark, haunting, and unremorseful. Was it King who said that monsters usually look just like us?