|Reviews for Blue World|
| SimonClemens chapter 2 . 7/21/2017
Still going very g-well I'll just say written with punch. It's actually quite balanced, I think, in terms of emotion and tone. That might not sound like much, but it's less common than you think, particularly here. A good/engaging story is one that has full control over its tone.
As for characters so far,
I have a very vivd picture of everybody. Well, every major character anyway. Do you happen to use picture reference or imagine celebrity likenesses for your characters?
P.S.-I don't want to bring up any stereotypes about Asians being nightmarish parents, but I did it just now, so...whatever. I don't believe most of them anymore. I can think on reasons why it happens and why it doesn't, now that I'm significantly more detached. Just people...flawed, biased, but occasionally trying to do right...I hope.
Here's to hoping you show this girl mercy. Or at least more mercy than her mum.
| futurewitch chapter 1 . 7/17/2017
I love the idea of formatting it as a play it's so cool! Another nice thing about plays is you can use music to set the scene. Like the polka in a street car named desire that rises with Blanches madness. You could do something similar with the mother's anger although the heartbeats are already really good!
| Chato781 chapter 1 . 7/17/2017
The tension was held immediately and throughout the scene. It was light a tight drum that just kept getting tighter. The scene was full of emotion, both verbal and nonverbal. The use of props in the scene was extremely effective and kept your attention. It was an amazing scene that foreshadowed greatness to follow.
| SimonClemens chapter 1 . 6/27/2017
It IS very indulgent, and the self-awareness you have sets that off and makes it enjoyable to me. Well in a certain sense of "enjoyed."
The subject matter goes too close to home. Especially the parents.
You write good, is what I mean to say.
Now I have to go sit and stare at a wall until I feel normal again.