|Reviews for Ember|
| Norah chapter 2 . 9/21
What happened to the second net that was supposed to catch fish? Did he change his mind?
| Derekv chapter 1 . 9/20
Wow, you write very well! I love fantasy stories.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 17 . 9/20
Just a few nuggets of exposition here as we learn the purpose of the room's disembodied attendant and the supposed genesis of the river folk. The text that Ember chooses does seem to have a biased bent, of course.
Ember seems hesitant to leave this little sanctuary in the mountain and I can't say I blame him. A very creepy moment to see a head and shoulders searching down from the hole in the roof. Whether it was Ky or the creature who chased them to the portal in the mountain makes little difference at this juncture.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 16 . 9/16
The magic of the mountain continues to deepen.
The setting here is described very well. I can see the moss, hear the tinkling water, and smell the dusty old pages of the books. Sounds like a nice little dwelling, but just as dangerous as the rest of the mountain is as evidenced by the poisoned water.
The woman in white is clearly an enigma -disembodied but still somehow present. I can't help but shake the feeling that this entity is somehow behind everything, working the strings from the shadows above the stage.
| A Friend chapter 16 . 9/16
Oh and the description of Ky's cuts as gills will haunt me (in the best way) for a long time.
| A Friend chapter 16 . 9/16
I don't think I've ever this nervous for a character! Poor Ember is trying but he still has no idea what kind of mess he's in. Feral Ky is the most terrifying thing, and that mirror room is the stuff of nightmares!
I, for one, don't trust this white woman. Something seems off... Then again, this whole mountain is full of death and magic so yeah. I just hope he makes it out!
| pfft chapter 15 . 9/15
Alright, I finished reading the whole thing - I quite like it. Though now she's trying to eat him, after I thought they were getting along so well.
| pfft chapter 1 . 9/15
Not bad - unlike a lot of stories it gets straight to the plot in the first chapter, I approve.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 15 . 9/13
The chase scene is excellent and maintains great tension throughout. The sequence with the mirror room is especially well done.
Ember is resisting the manipulation of the book better than Ky -he even seems remorseful as he looks at the grisly wounds on her face, and hesitates to use the spear. Ky, in the meantime, seems to be planning which of Ember's bones she would like to use to make a necklace. Luckily for Ember, the defensive spells in the mountain are mostly on his side.
Ember thinks he is safe for the moment, but I have to wonder if the woman in the room is more dangerous than the one outside of it. Nothing can be taken for granted in this place.
Wonderful descriptions and top-notch writing as always. I am glad you have continued to post up this story in the midst of what sounds like a hectic schedule. These characters are alive to me now, living and breathing, and I would hate to see them divided in such a way forever on the precipice of an incomplete story.
Keep up the good work!
| The Warrior Poet chapter 14 . 9/7
Ah, my prediction was correct! Ky is, indeed, "not a tame" siren.
The POV switch was a big surprise and it was nice to see from Ky's eyes for a little while. She thinks she has the book right where she wants it while all along the book has Ky right where it wants her. Ky referring to Ember as "my Ember" was both touching and disturbing at once, just like Ky herself. the siren is definitely upset that her own manipulation of Ember has been overshadowed by the manipulation done by the power controlling the book. I think her frustration at having her magic defeated plays a big role in the book working its will on her.
Now things are coming to a head as Ky is settling into her instinctual self. How far is she willing to go to get what she needs from Ember?
| The Warrior Poet chapter 13 . 9/7
What a surprise to find not one, but TWO Ember notifications in my inbox! I feel spoiled.
I don't know what power is controlling this book, but it is quite the insidious one to so effectively drive a wedge between Ky and Ember. Once again nothing but evil comes from Ember ignoring Ky's warnings, and now he finds himself wandering alone in the depths of the mountain.
It hurts to see Ky subdued in such a way, but her silence does have me wondering if the book is telling part truths. I knew that Ky was hiding something from Ember, and her silence on the subject seems to have confirmed it.
So many mysteries here to be unraveled. Reading on...
| The Warrior Poet chapter 12 . 9/1
The question is...what did Ky say?
Wonderful use of tension here, as Ky and Ember's pursuer reveals itself. It sounds like a terrible entity to be hunted by.
I like your descriptions of the interior of the mountain, I can smell the decaying bone and swirling dust. A grisly scene indeed. The climb up the mountain was so sunny and bucolic, but the ruin and darkness within stands out in stark contrast. Your skill at describing these two very different types of settings is impressive.
I am definitely looking forward to going "further up and further in." Will we discover that Ky is "not a tame" siren?
And I am left pondering the same question again: what did Ky say?
| The Warrior Poet chapter 11 . 8/28
And now the door awaits.
I really liked the disoriented and dreamlike feeling in this chapter, you communicate Ember's dislocation and haziness very well. Once again we are reminded that without Ky, Ember would already be dead...or dying of boredom in his old life, which may be an even worse fate.
You really seem to be settling into a nice groove with the writing in these recent chapters; especially this one and the previous one. They have been a delight to read, and therefore the escalating word count doesn't bother me in the least. If Ember needs to be a novel, let it be a novel. You shouldn't put a cage on such wonderful writing.
Keep it up! I have been looking forward to the new Ember chapters each weekend even more than the new episodes of this dreadful season of Game of Thrones.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 10 . 8/20
It's always a pleasant surprise to find an update notification for Ember in my inbox, and especially one so long! Of course I loved the longer chapter, but you would have been okay splitting it also. I will sometimes get reading fatigue when fictionpress chapters are too long since my eyes prefer paper, but this had such excellent pacing -I could have kept reading for another 5000.
The interaction between Ky and Ember was fantastic during this chapter. Ky's mesmerizing description of the ocean was definitely my favorite part of this story so far, and that is saying a lot in a story that is already so great. I love Ky's line: "The ocean is my nest." Also, when she drives off the will o'wisp and reveals that her words were a gift for Ember...if I was a tween girl and not a grown man I would be squealing in delight after that part.
It seems as if we get a bit of foreshadowing with Ky's explanation of what will happen to her without water, so now I am worried.
The trap sequence had no lack of tension, and I like that Ky doesn't give Ember a pass for his screw-up. Between the trap and the washed-out trail it has become clear that something definitely doesn't want them in the mountain.
You are really drawing me into this story and these characters, and with each new installment I become more invested.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 9 . 8/12
Exciting to see another chapter so soon!
I really liked your descriptions in this one. One of my favorite things to do in my own writing is to describe nature, so I can really appreciate the vivid picture that you paint here. I feel like I am walking behind them as they venture into the mountains.
Some very interesting exposition here learning the history of the Sisters. It sounds like a wonderful and dangerous place, which is fitting seeing as wonderful and dangerous seem to be the things that Ember is yearning for. Ky can be viewed as wonderful and dangerous as well (and she seems to be another thing that Ember may be yearning for...)
The scene at the waterfall is great because it shows that the two of them are becoming a bit more comfortable with each other, and the way in which Ky parts Ember from the honey (intentional or not) was good for a chuckle.
Overall, this was a very tight chapter and didn't strike me as "walking and talking" at all, and even if that is what it was it is the best kind of walking and talking. You are exploring your world and fleshing out your characters.