|Reviews for Hero Wanted|
| Mikealfaxray chapter 14 . 9/18
Aw, they're so cute. I really liked all the little details that are mentioned about the world in the future, the scientific approach that makes things sound at least a bit plausible, and the theories that are explored. I do have a couple notes, though, firstly: "Possibly. But another explanation states that Maria could be the reason." "Really? Do you mind explaining?" Ryan asked, turning his body to face Chris."Not at all."
I found that exchange to be a bit... wooden, mostly Ryan's bit. Instead of saying do you mind explaining, it would sound more realistic with something like really? What do you mean? Or simply really? And have Chris say something like yeah, and explain.
Also I think you instead of simply going at it into his explanations, he should say something like "allegedly" or "some say", as it would all be speculation.
Second note is: "its effect on high and low tides back on Earth." Are they not on earth?
| Mikealfaxray chapter 13 . 8/16
Weow, that was pretty hit, lol. I really like that Chris and Ryan comunicate through their troubles it's not something you see a lot in the genre. Ryan demands Chris to explain himself and his actions, and is even understanding and willing to leave things before they get more complicated. They don't just leave things to build and explode later. One problem I had though was where Chris began talking about Maria and her history, I felt like it came out of the blue, very unexpected. it did give us more background of their universe though and of chris.
| Mikealfaxray chapter 12 . 7/31
Aww yiss, I got my questions answered! Things are much clearer now. And more confusing. It was a lot of information to take in actually. I had to reread some parts a few times.
But anyways, I wish Nathaniel gave Christopher the benefit of the doubt. He's basing his dislike on a man he believes is malicious and manipulative.
| Mikealfaxray chapter 11 . 7/31
Awesome chapter! The fight scene has some good imagery! I can't wait to see what the fallout of this will be. Chris' father is very shady.
| Mikealfaxray chapter 10 . 7/31
I've realized Ryan doesn't really act his age. he's about 20 something isn't he? the way he's portrayed, the way most of them are actually, except maybe chris, is very high school. Idk. I mean, maybe I'm getting the HS vibe because they're in the Academy though. The word academy just makes me think high school.
| Mikealfaxray chapter 9 . 7/25
Oooh, was Chris hallucinating Travis again? Or maybe he was checking if Ryan was Ryan, or if Travis hallucination would feel real again... I really like that explanation, theory about why his nodes act up. Soul bonds. That could explain why Ryan would get features from Rory when he got his nodes. or was there already an explanation for that?hm, I can't recall. Anyways, great chapter. I liked the dialogues.
| Mikealfaxray chapter 8 . 7/24
Wowza. Another great chapter! Chris' nodes are acting up, making him hallucinate, maybe. Or maybe it's like the first generation nodes with the schizophrenia. Hmm. I also wonder if something happened to this Travis (other than what I assume is heartbreak) at the hands of Chris. Anyways, I didn't notice any spelling/grammar mistakes.
| Mikealfaxray chapter 7 . 7/24
Whew, now we're getting to the romance aspect of the story I presume?lol, was a good chapter.
| Mikealfaxray chapter 6 . 7/24
I really loved the beginning of this chapter! It was fantastic world-building and extendee on the lore around the Champions and Colossus beings flawlessly. I realize it was written to simulate TV news, and I really felt like that's what was happening, like I was watching the news. I also really loved the way this is happening worldwide, not just in the USA. Fantastic chapter, I'm really getting excited now. Lol.
| Mikealfaxray chapter 5 . 7/24
Great chapter! really liked the ending part, really makes up for the weirdness that I felt for his dad before. He really felt caring of Ryan and is very supportive. no spelling or grammar mistakes, as far as I saw.
| Saint Wilde chapter 7 . 7/20
From one sci-to/fantasy slash writer to another, hello. First and foremost excellent writing, really good lore with a main character who's understandable. I think your set up is amazing and I love that you've got a very nostalgic writing style that calls to mind A Wrinkle in Time. I think using real lore to inspire such a large project was a great idea. I'm excited to see where this goes!
| Mikealfaxray chapter 4 . 7/13
"Then at the sink, he grabbed the new bar of *soup..." lol.
Ah, Ryan is so trusting or naive or something, calling hia father 'dad' after just two meetings.
Good chapter. A question: if the nodes repaired him of previous injuries and such, wouldn't he still be able to get them implanted when he gave consent and have his spinal column repaired then?
| Avora24 chapter 1 . 7/13
I don't completely trust his "father" as well, I feel like Mr. Johnson was the one that contacted the muggers to harm Ryan so that he would get injured so that the doctors would implant the nodes in his body. Ryan should've also asked for proof that Mr. Johnson was his father before even considering the offer. A day is also not really long enough to think about a relationship with someone that wasn't a part of their life the majority of the time, let alone was the president. I'll applaud the author if the bad guy doesn't end up being Mr. Johnson and ends up being someone unexpected because right now everything seems too predictable. The story is good so far though, it definitely keeps you on the edge of your seat. Nice job.
| Mikealfaxray chapter 3 . 7/12
A mugging INSIDE an apartment complex? That's... hmm. I guess it's not outside the realm of possibilities. Just highly incredulous. In my opinion. And those gunshots would've made the muggers deaf.
| Mikealfaxray chapter 2 . 7/12
A few more errors and some comments. First off, there were a few small errors, mostly little words, but I didn't want to pick out and quote each one just to tell you that "it" is supposed to be "is". But also this one "She knew that being the known child of a world leader would undoubtedly lead to your *eventually recruitment..." *eventual sounds better and is probably the correct way to write it.
Now for comments. At the beginning, it was said that the Colossus' had begun appearing ~10 years prior. This would mean, assuming Ryan is 18, that he would have been 10 when they first appeared. And then it is said that the mother refused help from POTUS because she didn't want Ryan to be drafted into the Champions, but this wouldn't make sense if there was no Champions division in the military before Ryan was born, before the first appearance of Colossus'.
Furthermore, Ryan asks what the consequences of his coming out as the POTUS's son will be, and that he'd rather not be forced into the military, but then the father says he wouldn't let that happen... wouldn't let him be recruited, is the assumption, or is what I understood from that. But then he continues saying that 'okay maaaybe, you'll be drafted but you'll be stronger than anyone else'. It's just... disconcerting. Makes the POTUS seem manipulative.