|Reviews for Collected Poems|
| purple devil 87 chapter 16 . 1/20/2019
This one is nice. it brings us all back to reality. Its a sort of poetic reminder that there are those who don't care about the planet. It keeps us conscious about the state of our earth.
| Shaelyn Pagliaro chapter 18 . 12/10/2018
| ReluctantSecretary chapter 17 . 7/13/2018
You could keep your end rhyme if you try something like this:
"I will build you a house
and with much love you shall be doused
if you'll grant me the pleasure of becoming my spouse."
| ReluctantSecretary chapter 15 . 7/13/2018
Hmm. As a wife, I find this an interesting take on the wife/husband dynamics and the societal perceptions of marriage, divorce, and female/male roles in marriage.
I love the line "If you took her to court, you would lose half your shit." because its so raw... and truthful. And at first I thought you meant court as in kings/queens, you know? Too funny when I realized you didn't! I would suggest taking "took" to "take" to match tense with "would" later in the line.
| ReluctantSecretary chapter 10 . 7/13/2018
This sounds like a social critique of today's world. Thoughts? Is that where you were going?
| ReluctantSecretary chapter 9 . 7/13/2018
I feel like this is the key plot device in a movie script. Make it happen, Sir. I'd read the heck out of it!
| ReluctantSecretary chapter 7 . 7/13/2018
Hear, hear! Liquor is where it's at for me. Let's be efficient. xD hahaha
| ReluctantSecretary chapter 6 . 7/13/2018
"Her feet are sweet and her breasts are like honey.
I admit that this is mighty funny...
Rose has red hair
and skin so white and fair.
She is a beautiful lass
and Bless me! has a great ass!
Rose is the love of me life -
But what shall I tell me wife?"
I think some of these word choices might fit your rhyme scheme a bit better. I think they're a bit cheekier, too. If the "me life/me wife" is too much, you could easily use "my" instead. I definitely dig what you're doing here. Very cool!
| SaltwaterJanuary chapter 2 . 2/17/2018
I like the slavery/freedom themes that you do. I feel like the line," for I love that spot covered in hair" is a bit strange for it, bit overall I like this one.
| SaltwaterJanuary chapter 1 . 2/17/2018
I like reading your poems (especially since I have a hard time keeping up with the story, unfortunately), this one has an interesting tone to it.
| anon123345648362506 chapter 1 . 2/16/2018
Great poems! Keep up the good work.
| Psychotic Bella chapter 5 . 11/18/2017
Great job with positive influence, wish I could write like that.
| Psychotic Bella chapter 1 . 11/18/2017
I am very religious, so I love that you added God in here.