|Reviews for Take the Wheel|
| Chronic Guardian chapter 1 . 8/2/2017
More poetry? Nice! You're becoming quite the adventurous Eevee now, aren't you?
I actually think that this poem improves on the last one, but maybe that's just because it shows more narrative character and that's what I'm drawn to. There's a definite speaker here, and I can slowly begin to understand and relate to them as the poem goes on. It feels more... human, if you get what I mean.
I like how the narrator maintains a firm but supportive tone. Sort of a "You can't run from this, but that doesn't mean you have to hate it" sort of thing. Although I'm not sure I entirely trust the narrator (cars have brakes for a reason!) I do appreciate how well you've set up and developed your theme of perseverance and trying again after failure. That's very well done here. And, in the end, your success with those feelings is what makes this poem work.
So good work! Keep at it, Eevee. You may not be so sure of yourself, but I think with a little work you could become a pretty good poet. Just keep at it and don't look away, right? ;)
See you again soon,
| Aviantei chapter 1 . 7/24/2017
Well this is definitely something interesting. There's a lot of depth in the background of this poem. If it was a relief for you to write this, too, then I'm glad. I like the different layers that this poem could mean, too.
From a critical standpoint, I feel like you could try some variance in your line breaks and where they relate to thoughts. I feel like I say this a lot, but it can really build the rhythms in poetry. You can end a line on a certain word to give it emphasis. It's a bit hard to describe an effective use of this (as I'm just a beginner in poetry) but it's something to think about.
Since you mentioned this was thought up of as spoken word, have you tried reading it aloud? I'll admit I don't do that as much as I should (ever, I mean) because I'm too adverse to the idea, but reading poems aloud can help establish the rhythm, too. Again, more thoughts to consider.
Don't let these critically guided thoughts make you think it wasn't enjoyable, because it was. I'm just throwing out ways for you to build your poetry so the deep ideas behind them can really shine through.
That being said, I'm glad we were all able to post okay! Here's to a less hectic week nine for us all!