|Reviews for Electron|
| Brendan Rizzo chapter 8 . 7/10
So Rita has super strength while her sister has super speed. So they're like an irresistible force and unmovable object. Also, Veronica has super acceleration as well.
I like the tellers. I guess when one lives in this kind of world, you gotta do what you can till the hero shows up.
And the only reason Rita doesn't figure it out is because she underestimates how much Aaron can hold his liquor. This is amusing.
| Brendan Rizzo chapter 7 . 6/13
It was obvious that Rita was either a superhero or supervillain.
And sarcastic confessions are too risky to use in real life. It's not like Aaron said he was Batman in a world where that's a fictional character; since superheroes exist, Rita might think he was serious. In which case, she had the advantage.
| Brendan Rizzo chapter 6 . 5/3
You managed to set up a situation in which the presence of a superhero would be completely pointless. And then, you subverted it a little more, by having the conflict be a good deal grayer than it appears.
I realize that the reason that the licensed superheroes are allowed to go off vigilanteing is because they are accountable to the government and police and so may not use excessive force, but somebody could probably interpret the moral of this chapter as that only people with superpowers should be allowed to fight crime. I am sure that those people lack reading comprehension skills.
| Brendan Rizzo chapter 5 . 1/3
Why do I have the feeling that this Iron Maiden is one of those '90s Anti-"Heroes" that always show up?
| Brendan Rizzo chapter 4 . 11/1/2017
All right, that's fine. This cliffhanger is interesting regardless.
| Brendan Rizzo chapter 3 . 10/2/2017
That went pretty well. But if someone as strong as Titus is just a starter villain, then how bad will the REAL villains be?
| Brendan Rizzo chapter 2 . 9/2/2017
So Aaron's met everyone around HQ, and got his costume, and started learning how to use his powers. But he'll still make an ass of himself when he gets into the field, of course. I hope he doesn't kill someone by accident; there are loads of heavy metallic objects in the city.
I wonde if any of these other characters will appear again or are just here for flavor...
| Brendan Rizzo chapter 1 . 8/1/2017
Interesting. I'll admit that I don't usually read superhero stuff, but I suppose I'll follow this for the novelty of you writing something other than a crackfic. (I might not be able to review EVERY chapter, though.)
The "registered superhuman" thing has probably been done to death, but I don't know if any others have featured supervillains being allowed to run free because of bureaucratic inertia before. I predict that Titus will be either the Starter Villain, or the Big Bad. (But probably the first one.)
Well, good luck.