Reviews for Saorise (Balance 1)
SK Kasai chapter 3 . 8/20
Oh, alright! At first I thought she as listening to the song, then she wrote it as was mentioned then I was generally confused. The song lyrics are good. I am gonna go listen to them XD
Please update cause I decided that I love ester. A lot. And Mr Bane is cool. Relatively speaking :)
SK Kasai chapter 2 . 8/20
I love quantum physics! I decided that I like Ester and this story too XD
SK Kasai chapter 1 . 8/20
I can't tell if I should like this Mr Bame or not :)
Ester is a cool name though and I like magic and stuff like that. So, so far so good.
J.Kuzzey chapter 1 . 8/5
Hmm interesting start here. It's just the first chapter so you haven't jumped fully into the world you're building but you've given us enough that it should grab most people's attention. Conversations were pretty well done; nothing seemed awkward or forced. Descriptions were paced well and easy to follow. You didn't slow us down rambling on and on like some authors do (I read a book where someone spent two pages describing what someone was wearing...)
Only grammar mistake I noticed was that dialogue tags should use commas. For example: ["She's my sister." She said finally.] should be ["She's my sister," she said finally.] Other than everything else looked good from a technical aspect.
Keep at it.