|Reviews for Home is where you go when it gets dark|
| SighTempests chapter 1 . 10/29/2017
I like this quite a lot. It has great rhythm and flow. If anything, in the last stanza when I read "rings in my ear", I had already forgotten what sound had been made. But I love that "whip-bird's crack" is used in both the first and final stanzas. It made it feel complete.
| hookline-dreamer chapter 1 . 9/12/2017
Nice poem; it does remind me of the bush, and my childhood. Me and my brother and sister did used to stay out playing till it was dark. Once, we made up a spooky story about a part of the bush along the track we called 'The Green Trees' and freaked ourselves out even though there was nothing remotely creepy there!
My childhood home was on a hill overlooking the town, with a nice big patch of bush behind it. But when I was about twelve, developers came and levelled it all to build houses. We found dead possums and things afterwards. :( I think that was the day my childhood really ended. It was like they were bulldozing our memories...
There's a couple of places where the metre is one syllable too long:
"I know I'm close, but *again* that sound" - should be a one syllable word,
"As I thrust my way out of the gum" - 'As' isn't really necessary, and the metre would be improved without it.
Other than that, it's well written. Tis rare to find good rhyming poetry. :)
What's a whip-bird, out of interest? (I grew up in Tassie; not a term that I've heard before...)