Reviews for Trickling Bright
Chronic Guardian chapter 1 . 11/8/2017
Heya Eevee! Bet you didn't think you'd see me again, huh? Well, here I am with the super late review!

I'll admit, I'm not much for poetry mostly because I'm really bad at analyzing it. That said, I'm having trouble finding the takeaway here. I mean, form-wise you have some really strong imagery and strike a fantastic pace of desperate suffocation. There's enough "drag" to capture and soak the pain, but not so much that it outstays its welcome, so to speak. However, I'm not sure where this is going theme-wise. I see hints of individual vs. collective and inescapable judgment, but what does this speak to? Maybe I just haven't had the right life experiences to relate...

Like I said, though, your imagery is great and even without a rhyme scheme I can still feel a strong meter in your work this time. So, in that respect, I'd say your poetry skills are leveling up! Good work, kid.

Reviewing again soon,
-CG
Aviantei chapter 1 . 8/7/2017
Oh! Philosophical Eevee poem! You have this twist of a haunting and determined feel that brings this unique aura to the poem. Great reaction to have.

There are some great lines in this, but my favorite is "an instrument cracked my hourglass." Such a novel image that I'm glad to have experienced.

This time, I'll give a different piece of advice: poetry really thrives when it uses sensory details. This has some good visual and the occasional touch (heat details to be specific) detail in here, but bringing in sounds and smells and tastes can enrich it further! Fire is a good place to start-you can hear it crackle, smell the burn, taste smoke off it. I find it easier to put these details in while revising, but they're good to think about when composing too!

Best of luck with your iPad writing Eevee! I will see you around,

-Avi