|Reviews for Gakuen St Warriors|
| Folding Turtles chapter 145 . 9/24
Whew, I'm finally caught up. I still think Haru's safer for Ria, and that Ryuu has it out for her...
| Folding Turtles chapter 125 . 9/24
My random thoughts:
#106 - Still trust Haru more. I think Ria is starting to fall in love with Ryuu, though.
#109 - almost read "one night before the Ceremonies" as "one night before Christmas". Guess I'm just that excited for the holidays, even though it isn't even Halloween yet. Henry and Kuran sound like an old married couple. XD
#110 - Bet Henry took Ria's Tabeez. Never mind. He took her parents' letter. The part about Ria's new wardrobe looking like four dresses reminded me of Lady Gaga's famous four-layered dress for the Met Gala, Camp Edition.
#111 - I rather like Ria's POV; think it's easier to write mental reactions and switch up the style that way. Third-person POV is usually more standardized because it needs to fit all the other characters, But then again, I think I wrote a comment about this a while back, related to the INTENSE third-person POV psychoanalysis in Crime and Punishment.
#112 - RE: Ria's "black strapless top"...back in the 1800s, ladies wore whalebone corsets that were laced so tight, their internal organs ACTUALLY SHIFTED - like LEGIT shifted. There are anatomical diagrams of the ladies from that time period with their kidneys up where their hearts are, and such... RE: Asta's dress...I'm imagining Elsa the Ice Queen's wardrobe, on steroids. Partnering bets: Ria x Ryuu. Henry x the one scary girl who put the Trace on everyone because they're both insanely MENTAL. Asta x the other (singing) ice queen who dresses like Elsa from Frozen in the Blue Faction. Kian x his brother.
#125 - Ria's parents are in trouble with the top dogs and ran away to Tibet. OH NO!
| hazelnutbrew chapter 2 . 9/21
I think that we’re introduced to some interesting characters here, from the teacher to Henry the blond-haired kid that intervened on Ria’s behalf. I wonder what the clan dynamics are between each of these characters, though gosh, I can tell that shenanigans are about to go down when it comes to these characters. Seeing their interactions were interesting. Though according to the things that have happened thus far, I think that Ria is in for quite a trippy school experience, and what I mean by that is that she’s on a one-way ticket to HELL xD Seriously, there are so many crazy antics that happen in the story, such as first with the wax candle melting on her face and now there’s a potential fight with students already talking about clan enemies and having animosity towards her because of her clan association or whatever, and now we have a teacher that is just as zany as the class population as well. I think the teacher is very interesting and I like all the characters' introductions here, as they are a very colorful cast that promises a lot of conflict and of course SHENANIGANS that lead to an exciting plot full of wonder, mysticism, and Youkai, most likely. I wonder how Ria is going to survive the supernatural threats and clan animosities and scary and powerful teachers that can subdue the student population with a threatening aura. Though I think that Ria while adjusting to her surroundings, will learn how to adapt, though it’s interesting that her parents kept so many secrets from her about the school and what it would be like. But if you had to deal with something like that every day, I guess they didn’t want to permanently scare her and relocate to another country. I wonder if she’s still considering relocating to another country, especially after all that happened. Woo. What a wild ride. I think this story is promising and I certainly hope that you continue writing more. Please keep up the good work!
| hazelnutbrew chapter 1 . 9/21
This looks like a promising start. One, I love things with Youkai in them. Two, I love stuff that has supernatural and magic in them. Three, I love anime/manga style stories (obviously) and things involving supernatural school so school life is right up my alley! I like teen protagonists and characters, especially since they’re so prominent in shounen-style anime. But anyway, onto the review! The introductory hook about the Youkai race and how they had dwindled to extinction through humankind, along with the five sacred kings or whatever that come from another time and dimension was an interesting bit of lore that I want to learn more about. Of course, the fact that the main character doesn’t believe in such legends and lore is understandable, because it’s apparently a piece of history or whatever that has faded into obscurity. Though the fact that she’s going to school and her parents sent her off without so much as a word about what it means and entails is interesting, though eventually, she finds out later that there is significance in the lore piece that she read about. But yes, not missing the bus is very important when it comes to going to school, though it seems like shenanigans are to be had before she steps aboard said bus, it seems. Her parents seem to be holding some interesting secrets away from their daughter before they send her off to the supernatural school in question, though I think that this story and premise is something that I like very much. You’ve done a good job introducing a compelling hook and a likable protagonist that has some snark and teenage attitude but it’s perfectly understandable why she’s acting that way because she’s dumped off to a school that she has no idea about and has a mysterious incident with the candle that she must not let burn out for some reason. I’m only summarizing my thoughts for the first chapter of what I remember reading, but I wanted to give you a proper review because I remember you reviewed one of my stories, Onmyouji Eclipse, and wanted to properly thank you by giving you a review. Please continue keeping on writing, your story is very good, and besides that, it’s a long-runner, which is the type of story I like!
| Folding Turtles chapter 101 . 9/20
#93 - first section sounds like what I imagine Edward Cullen must have been feeling as he was sucking the venom out of Bella in Twilight #1...
#99 - My theories: Ryuu placed the barrier around Ria's house. Haruka and Ria were blood bonded when Ria was little. Hey, maybe Ria's related to both Ryuu and Haruka because her parents were star-crossed lovers from both Clans...
Laughed so much during this Arc. So much fun! XD
| Folding Turtles chapter 90 . 9/18
The Trace sounds like a Yokai version of Fifty Shades of Grey... XD
| Folding Turtles chapter 89 . 9/16
The newspaper headlines bit several chapters ago was so funny. My cheeks hurt from smiling after that. :)
The whole debacle about Yokai eating humans reminds me dreadfully of Malthusianism. Gloom and doom over no food. You start wondering if they make distinctions about "organic" vs. "natural" vs. "free-range" vs. "conventional" food just like we do at the egg aisle in the grocery store. BTW the FDA or some other food regulatory agency has never been able to accurately define "natural," so it's really more of a marketing gimmick. XD
The Three Clans... Have you ever read/watched Good Omens? Angels and demons... The same actor from Doctor Who Season 4 is the snaky demon in that show. Same fashion style could work with Kian, IMO. And the angel's style would totally match Henry. Asta could probably go with Balenciaga x Chanel. Ria with Moschino - also think she'd be a Bao Bao Issey Miyake type of girl. ;)
| Folding Turtles chapter 80 . 9/15
The instant I read *Mia bella* I was thinking of The Addams Family...
Couples goals, eh?
| Folding Turtles chapter 73 . 9/15
OMG the Shrines are like temples crossed with Voldemort's Horcruxes. Side note: I used to watch a TV show in my middle school years called Ancient Aliens that had a bunch of conspiracy theories about how various aspects of human civilization development were actually through alien intervention, e.g., the Phoenicians bringing the alphabet to everyone and then mysteriously disappearing, the bubonic plague appearing after an UFO appears in the sky over Middle England, ... The comment about the Yoki having built the Pyramids reminded me of that show.
| Folding Turtles chapter 72 . 9/9
Still think there's a plan for Ria to usurp Haru. Other thoughts:
#59 - the musty old book smell you mentioned reminded me of the time I borrowed Rebecca (original book from the 1930s) from the library. The House Selection process is more evidence of St. Warriors being a magical frat IMO. "Henry hated everything PROCESSED" - have Kuran order him some protein powder for bulking season.
#62 - throwing up water sounds as painful as waterboarding.
#67 - wizards ride broomsticks; yoki ride swords - lol
#68 - maybe: Ryuu vs. Haru Wild West high noon (or, in this case, midnight) style showdown
#70 - in response to one of the questions you included in Ria's profile: I think that as much as they don't like each other, Ria x Kuran just might work. XD
Wow, I've made it about halfway through what you've uploaded so far.
| Folding Turtles chapter 58 . 9/4
I feel like the entire St. Warriors Academy is some EXTREMELY HYPED UP version of college Greek life initiation, with all the traditions you need to study and the hierarchy of members and all the rituals and ceremonies presided over by old bigwigs. Yes...because so far, Freshers initiation, and from what I can tell right now, Partnering big/little pairings.
I think the woman in Ria's dream was the weeping angel statue from some chapters before.
School starts every Halloween. How fitting for such a scary institution.
Last random thought: so far, it seems like all the kiddos have a lot of hardware - chains, stones, clan gowns, other knickknacks, the Tabeez, etc... They are just about as loaded as a Chanel Arts de Métier show. I think they should also have a pocket-watch. XD
| Ser Quicksand chapter 49 . 9/2
I must admit, that I'm somehow not surprised in the least that Kian somehow wound up getting into it with his own familiar. All of them being relatively well mannered except for Kian's kitten is certainly one of the more fitting things I'd say. Hell, Loki chomping his hand when he tried to get t to call him master is not only the most Kian type situation ever, but only shows they're probably more similar than either would like.
I'm curious as to what brought those two kids outside the towers to be seemingly spying on them, and how they contributed to the Towers losing all the glow they'd previously had, but that'll have to come later on for sure. As well, I'm left hoping nothing goes wrong with the upcoming ceremonies the Councillors have been discussing, but I suspect that'd just be wishful thinking on my part.
| Folding Turtles chapter 55 . 8/31
General thoughts up to #55:
* The theme song of this entire piece could be Centuries (Fall Out Boy) - for real.
* The vitriol between the Red/Blue Factions remind me of the political bloodbath between the Democrats and Republicans in the U.S. government (also Red vs. Blue). I think Congress has something like a 20% approval rating...
* The girl with the hairpin who was singing in the woods reminded me of Elsa.
* When the clips from Freshers was playing, I was like - OMG, it really is just like the Hunger Games... I had that feeling, with the style and action, when I was reading that portion.
* I think the music performance at the end of the Ceremony Arc was SUPER GREAT! It was so funny. The energy in the crowd could be like something straight out of STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON - that same "ain't gonna take none of yo flak" attitude.
| Folding Turtles chapter 48 . 8/30
Here's what I think: Haru and Ryuu are playing a teenaged-wizard version of Game of Thrones. Ryuu should go face-to-face with Edward Cullen and see who wins out in terms of steely determination and scary chilliness. Haru can team up with Jacob and burn the cold-blooded vampires to a crisp. And after that, and half the world's ended, Ms. E(ffie) can come by and announce the first Hunger Games. While Asta's turtle chews on a dandelion stem, looking bored. I think your writing has improved since Chapter 1, less CRAZY crazy and more CONTROLLED crazy, always a plus for something already as crazy as an epic fantasy. Specific thoughts:
#42 - the bandaged mummy students reminded me of the soldier in white from Catch-22.
#43 - the freakish cactus plant is a little like the murderous carnivore from The Little Shop of Horrors, except that one was always crying out "FEED ME!" instead of TEEHEHEHEHE.
#44 - I wish Ryuu can send things into the middle of a supermassive black hole.
#45 - the Healers needing healing. A hahaha - "Physician, HEAL THYSELF," for thus spake Zarathustra. XD OMG, Marry Poppins would be so jealous of the floating umbrellas. I think Ryuu went to visit Henry.
#46 - Confirmed Ryuu went to visit Henry. Henry be Harry Houdini's protégé. Just levitating, don't mind me...
#47 - In relation to POV, I've found that it's easier to cut between people in different locations in the 3rd person, but it's easier to do internal monologues in the 1st person. Though this might just be me, as Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote Crime and Punishment in the 3rd person and was also a master at describing psychological machinations without ever using "I".
| Folding Turtles chapter 41 . 8/30
Wow, wow, wow. The Fresher's Arc was amazing, something like a cross between The Hunger Games and The Lord of the Flies. You have a mastery of sustaining tension and suspense, and the descriptions are amazing. I almost (inappropriately) burst out laughing when one of the characters said, "Shaddup and run," because I suddenly heard the echo of SHUT UP AND DANCE in my head, and I imagined the undead skeletons trying to execute Carrie-style mass murder on a disco floor to the beat of WALK THE MOON, and I was like, well - the freak - I've suspended disbelief for this long, might as well keep it up. XD