|Reviews for Sovereign: Beasts|
| Kam I Am chapter 2 . 1/15
Alright, let's jump into Beasts proper.
Heh, choosing partners, huh? This reminds me a lot of those opening chapters of Ascension with Halsten and Lorrik :p. Reading on the comparison runs all the truer, Edith's determination mirrors Lorrik's only pluckiness pretty well. These aren't their female stand-ins are they :p? Nah, Brenda's definitely got a sense of humor about herself, a little more than Halsten's ultra stoic sort of attitude at least - all this based off what I remember from part one, anyways :p.
"Kind of hard to do when no one's willing to give you a chance." Beasthunting/this mercenary stuff sure sounds like finding a real life entry-level job :p.
You'll notice that I don't have as many random bits to comment on as I usually do. I'd say that has more to do with this chapter's sense of flow than anything else. I felt compelled to read on, not that I don't usually, it's just this one had me pulling through until the end. Considering that this chapter amounted to a stroll in the city and a chat I'd say that's more a testament to your writing than anything else. I generally enjoy the prose, but this one had a real driving force behind it. At first I thought that was because of the shorter sentences that break things up, but I know those have always been present, so I don't really think it's that. There was just something really 'good' about this chapter that I can't put my finger on, it was a great opening without much of consequence necessarily happening. It's been awhile since I've read the prologue, but I almost wonder if it was really necessary? Beyond setting up the general threat of monsters out there I don't know if it'll be relevant again in the future. This chapter can more than carry the burden of being the stories introduction, since it is anyways ;p.
All that to say, I really like the chapter. Edith and Brenda have an entertaining if somewhat similar dynamic.
Btw, thanks for using 'buttresses' in a sentence and reminding me that it's a funny sounding word :p.
| Kam I Am chapter 1 . 10/17/2017
I seem determined to read the rest of the Sovereign works before returning to Ascension :p. This one's different than your other stuff, real different. I liked it. We're not in an academy or a courthouse this time, in fact we're in a different nation altogether. A world's being crafted here, like the preface notes up above, and I'm happy to see it being fleshed out.
As far as prologue's go, I thought this one was a lot different in structure to the other one's, and it's a welcome change. I liked that the world-building, scene-setting paragraphs at the beginning were brief, it laid out the foundation of Gheran, and contrasting it with the other more orderly nations was the best way to describe it in an effective manner.
Everything past that was to the point, simple, but in a good way. A city's being attacked, a wife and son, monsters, cool stuff. In the wrong hands this could be boring, but the strength of the descriptions kept things engaging throughout. The monster's descriptions at the end in particular really got me going.
The dialogue was brief, but effective. So much so that I wish we got more of it, considering this is a prologue I'm unaware of these characters are going to be relevant again at all, or maybe dead, their chances of survival don't seem very high to begin with :p. Guess we'll just have to find out.
I'm not sure if I'm understanding this sentence correctly "a devastation attack far surpassing any bombard.". Should devastation be devastating? Maybe bombard should be bombardment as well? I don't know, I just tripped over it as I was going along.
| Matheos86 chapter 1 . 9/18/2017
This is definitely different than the rest of the Sovereign stories. Though it's short and I don't have many impressions, it is intriguing. It somewhat reminds me of the beasts of Dxun/Onderon but I'm interested to see how these creatures are devised and how they function in the Sovereign world and storyline.
| ToasterDanceParty chapter 1 . 9/12/2017
Great start! I can't wait to see more of the two Guardsmen!