Reviews for Love After First Night
FictionWriter200 chapter 7 . 1/5/2018
Awwwwww. This was a very nice ending! I loved it! Trevor is such a cute guy and Rox, she's a brave girl. I like how you wrote their dynamic and relationship, it was very heart-warming. Anyways, I don't have much to say about this chapter in terms of critiquing because I said them all in the previous chapter. Maybe if you were to go back to this book, try and add more descriptions would do. Otherwise, well done! :D Loved this.
FictionWriter200 chapter 6 . 1/5/2018
Hah, finally! Bye bye voodoo doll and bye-bye Logan! Well, that was one heck of a chapter! I also like how you titled each chapter appropriately. So far, this was a very nice read with how Trevor and Rox have been fighting against Logan. I do find it a tad cliche that love conquers all, but maybe that's because I prefer angst more. Either way, this was very nicely written and I had fun reading it! Good job!
FictionWriter200 chapter 5 . 1/5/2018
Oh wow. Trevor! Poor guy! A voodoo doll, huh? Scary!
Things that I think you can improve on this chapter is actually the part where you write a word all capital letters to indicate someone is shouting. It's a common mistake but it would be prudent to fix it. An exclamation point actually helps notify the readers the character is screaming or shouting. :)

Otherwise, this is interesting too! With how Trevor blames her and the fact that she's just so calm is very nice touch. Good job!
FictionWriter200 chapter 4 . 1/5/2018
Welp, that was interesting. So, hm, Trevor, interesting character development so far. I don't think I have much to say about this chapter in terms of grammar/spelling wise. I do spot places where you could check on your commas and periods. Like, in some cases, you write your dialogue:

"bla bla bla," I say as I depart, "blabla." That double comma thing you got going on is unnecessary. Just put a period after 'depart' and open a new dialogue.

Otherwise, this chapter is well written. Good job.
FictionWriter200 chapter 3 . 12/28/2017
Uh-oh. The doll's gone, huh. This is a good chapter! The grammar and spelling is pretty on point. I think you can work on the commas and periods when it comes to dialogues. I think I mentioned this before in a previous review in your other story. Also, I would recommend adding more descriptions to enrich your story further. Otherwise, I find your dialogues to be natural and also the tone of your story is pretty good too. Well done! :)
FictionWriter200 chapter 1 . 12/15/2017
This is written out pretty good! I like the humour in this and the dialogues flow quite well. I think there's too many use of adjectives and adverb, once again to which you can describe how they behave without them. The grammar is pretty good and the whole setting is intriguing. Good job! -Krystal
ChaowyBear21 chapter 7 . 10/19/2017
I loved this ending. It's amazing. So proud of you.
ChaowyBear21 chapter 6 . 10/19/2017
So glad that everything's okay for Trever and Roxanne. My fingers were crossed. Anyway,great job.
ChaowyBear21 chapter 5 . 10/19/2017
The end of the chapter had me worried for Roxanne. Oml! Other than that,good job on this chapter.
ChaowyBear21 chapter 4 . 10/19/2017
Like always,good job writing this story. I love reading it.
ChaowyBear21 chapter 3 . 9/27/2017
That part where Betty turned into an extraterrestrial creature surprised me and freaked me out. I did not see that coming at all. Other than that,great chapter.
ChaowyBear21 chapter 2 . 9/25/2017
As soon as I was notified about this chapter,I got all excited. Like always,I'm proud of your writing. Way to go. One thing that took me by surprise was when Roxanne said to Trevor that she's infertile. I was like "Whaaaaaaat?" and my eyes popped out. Either way,good job writing this.
ChaowyBear21 chapter 1 . 9/20/2017
Awesome first chapter. I'm so proud of it. Keep up the good work.