Amazing work you got here! Hopefully there is sequel, want Riley and Corbin to have closure of some sort! :)

I. Hate. Riley.

Okay, whew, I feel better now. The last few chapters were so hard to get through (I think it could have used some more telling of the story through SHOWING it instead of blocks of paragraphs - it got a little dry at a crucial point, and the scenes where things were going on, like at the church, and characters were having dialogues, were much more interesting). Watching Riley unravel everything, with no regrets, was devastating to any compassion I had left for the protagonist. He didn't care about ANYONE? Really? No real regrets or trying to change course? His entire family was probably put in jail and tortured for information as to his whereabouts. Humanity showed Riley it's complete lack of worth and trustworthiness. The people in the resistance were just ugly. Willing to do horrible things to all people, unleash something so horrifying just because they don't like their "overlords," and that's a better choice than anything else? They couldn't come up with any other ideas except extreme, terroristic guerrilla warfare? Mass murder on a scale never seen before? And stupid Riley, he can't think himself out of a paper bag, can't realize what he's done? Can't come up with a single idea to turn this around?

Like maybe going straight to the Edem and saying some bullshit story that he had gotten too close to people in the resistance, but rather than turn them in at the time, he decided to try to save face and do something heroic like infiltrate them and get the information needed to stop the resistance. Tell everyone he felt so emasculated by his situation, so disempowered, that once he found himself in the situation, he decided to use it to do something heroic, to show everyone what he could do as an Edem. No one would believe him, of course, but they'd save face by pretending to. And he'd show that some Edem were traitors, while some humans could be heroes on their side.

Leaving the readers hanging for more with that last scene! As much as I don't like the main character, I do like the story. Your ability to make Riley so annoying and unlikeable is a talent. I want to read more, this story did not have closure, and we are left expecting a sequel. I know it's been a while, but I do hope you're working on part II of this epic tale. I love diving into worlds when I read, and this one really kept my attention. I want to know what happens to Corbin, and Riley, and his family, and the little boy with shitty diapers. The Agol is terrifying and intriguing and there needs to be more!

Riley's biggest issue is that he's a young male. He doesn't like ANYTHING. Young men want a reason to fight and he's got one. He has no understanding of life at all. He knows nothing about history. The Edem could just as easily have been Russian forces taking over. I don't know Canadian history, it doesn't seem to have had the volatility of other countries. But in the US the natives were practically obliterated, African Americans are still marginalized (and arrested when they aren't guilty of anything). All throughout history men run around conquering other men. They imprison and enslave, take over and decimate. The Edem are really just a new group of men from a new country, taking over the way men always have and always will. Watching Riley play into like all going men is kind of frustrating, because he has no understanding or even basic knowledge of humanity's history of doing this very thing. Rebels have always been around. Young men full of energy and no brains wanting to go out and fight anything and anyone, they don't even really need an excuse. The Edem, these grown men, they've calmed down. They don't want to fight anymore. They're ready to settle into a calm life. Riley just wants to fight because he hasn't got a brain yet, just boredom and passion. He doesn't even try to think of other options, ways to help prisoners, volunteering to help people, working with the government to find ways to make things easier. And he certainly has no foresight to realize that if he pisses off too many Edem, his family could be made to suffer. Kids! They're so annoying! But this is pretty realistic. I just feel so sorry for Corbin.

Just a couple of things:. Led not lead when it's past tense. And it's all of A sudden not all of THE sudden.

I'm really starting to dislike Riley! What a self centered baby! Every time he has a tiny bit of insight that might help him mature, to have compassion and understanding of other people, ten seconds later he's having another tantrum. He's so relentlessly immature and selfish. I like Corbin, and I understand what he needs and desires from Riley. I feel for him, knowing he could use some love and softness from a partner. But instead he gets a brat who whines and complains and takes everything for granted. Now I want Corbin and Penelope to end up together! And I still sort of wish Riley had ended up with hawlsley...

Hello there! I am so sorry I haven't gotten to this story until now, it's been on my list for a while, and it seemed as though you'd just finished it, but that was a year and a half ago! If I'd been reading at the time you were writing, you'd have gotten a few more reviews, sorry! But at the same time, waiting until now with the Covid shut-in going on, I've been immensely grateful to have something to read that really captures my attention. There's a lot to say about this story - I'm actually a chapter or two into part II. I'm enjoying delving into this world of yours, as I did with Exiles. Your characters are well drawn, and I must admit I'm much more drawn to the Edem than to the depressed teenager main characters. You do write the teen angst very well, though. I feel so bad for Riley, but then just want to slap him and tell him to grow up. He's going through a lot, and has had very, very little exposure to how rough life can actually be. But even if he'd stayed on course and not been taken by the Edem, who's to say he wouldn't have gone to college, gotten drunk one night, decided to get in a car and cause a crash where someone got seriously hurt, ended up in a good old Canadian prison for a few years, and been raped multiple times by brutal gang thugs? (I may have the wrong impression of Canadian prisons, since I'm US, but I figure most prisons outside of Sweden's lovely "holiday hotel" jails, most of them are pretty nasty and dangerous). Or he could have gone to college, started partying, and been introduced to cocaine, starting a prolonged, downhill journey into addiction. He could have gone to college, knocked up a girlfriend he didn't actually care for, married her because it was the "right" thing to do, and ended up in a marriage that crumbled over the course of a decade (with another child or two added in, because that seems to be what people in bad marriages do), then have an affair, then another one, and his marriage implodes, and every day his homelife brings him nothing but misery. OR, he could have started college, his dad drops dead of a heart attack, his mother is broke, and he has to quit and go to work to help support her, then she ends up with cancer and he becomes her soul caretaker. Or, he could have gone drunk-skiing with college buddies, hit a tree, and ended up a paraplegic.

He doesn't have any concept of the big story here - he's taken to an alien ship on fake charges, has no idea what is going to happen to him, and is desperately frightened. That's perfectly understandable. But by the two year mark, he still doesn't get that this easily could and should have been a truly terrible situation, which, outside of the rape, it hasn't been. He's in an alien PRISON. One rape? By US prison standards, that's getting lucky. Especially since Riley is exactly the type of sweet pretty boy that these Edem would enjoy passing around as a party favor until the shine has worn completely off. Instead, he gets a boyfriend, a relationship he's happy to be in despite the fact that he had no idea he was bisexual (I do wish the bisexuality would be pointed out - he doesn't have to be "straight or gay." Obviously he quite easily enjoys sex with men, it isn't simply circumstantial, but had only focused on females before this).

His growing pains are intense and lengthy and he's still obviously going through them and will be for a while. He hasn't accepted this damned good life as his new normalcy, even though it's a pretty average life. He was in prison, which one would have assumed would have been far more abusive and wretched but didn't even get in fights. All the Edem (with the one exception of his rapist) indulge him and treat him more than fairly. He works, he gets furloughs, he gets paid and gets to buy things (and no one even steals any of his stuff until later, when there's a large influx of prisoners, but even with the new people and added stress, no one beats the crap out of him). He is in a relationship, albeit one that definitely has an imbalance of power (mostly because Riley is very immature and doesn't know that he actually HAS power, and a great deal of it in a situation like this, should he have chosen to wield it). But the person he's with isn't abusive in any way, and has a huge desire to help Riley. Everywhere Riley goes, he brings out people's tender, protective sides. He ends up with a better job the second he complains to the warden about being raped.

A pretty boy being grabbed off the street BECAUSE he's pretty? I'm sure most readers were expecting him to get raped LOTS. And beaten up. Abused. Tortured. These are the new alien overlords, they are hot for some action, they are bored soldiers with a need for toys and release, they should be able to do what they want.

Riley gets the new job, he's well cared for and even befriended (even if he has to give the guy blow jobs, the Edem was gentle, friendly, and beyond conscientious, giving the kid plenty of chances to decline). He gets into a situation where he's injured, but even then, these aliens take care of him, giving him excellent medical care and a medal!

THEN, his boyfriend gets a real apartment and Riley is allowed to move in with him. This alien lover of his is always far more patient and understanding than even a human man in his 40s would be with a sulky, complaining teenager. They live in a nice area with shops and restaurants. Riley takes classes and volunteers in a wonderful garden. He has friends, interests, and an entire world to explore. He's moderately in love with his boyfriend, who needs the pretty soft boy in his life and loves him in return (this is the greatest area of imbalance between them - Riley is self-centered and spoiled. Corbin goes way out of his comfort zone to try to understand this kid and indulge his emotional fall-outs, and does a lot of thinking for Riley, doing everything he can to guide him and give him a better focus, to help him through these growing pains. Riley has no concept of how much Corbin tries to do for him, and how much the alien puts up with).

But rather than learn, grow, adapt, work hard, and enjoy this pretty damned good life he has, Riley sulks, blames, complains, whines, and pitches fits. He was taken to a prison on an ALIEN SPACESHIP. There is no one who would have imagined that within a year, he'd live in an apartment in a very pleasing Earth-like location, with a boyfriend who loves him and has a great sex life, going to class, meeting boyfriend's rich dad who actually likes him, has pals and drinks beer and goes to McDonalds and the LAKE. Nope. Definitely not what most people would think. This all sounds pretty cake.

Yessssssss I know, he was raped. And it seems like everyone ignores this. But it's because of the fact that he was in PRISON. And he's a pretty, soft little thing. In PRISON. One rape? A slightly coerced (slightly!) sexual situation with a couple of aliens where he received huge benefits in return? No one has pointed out that he could have been raped in college at a drunken frat party. He could have been raped multiple, multiple, MULTIPLE times in the Edem prison. He doesn't have any female to talk to, or it would have been pointed out "welcome to our world, buddy - most of us have been sexually assaulted, throughout human history, and no one has ever given a damn. Get over it, get on with your life. At least you don't have to raise a rape-baby, at least you didn't get raped every day, etc etc etc ad nauseum."

I know he's naive, and young, and led a very sheltered life beforehand, but Jesus, this kid has no idea of how lucky he is. He was imprisoned and raped and wants to go home and he's very young, so it's understandable that his immature mind and emotions just can't cope with this situation. He has no strength, no emotional or mental intelligence, to deal with this. But I think he would have been the same way if his life had been hard in ANY way at this point. If he'd gone into the military (like so many US boys do, not sure about Canadians), he would have been miserable, and complained about having to march, and pull kitchen duty, and how he should have just gone to college, but no, he was talked into army life by mom/dad/a friend/whoever, and now his feet hurt and he hates his sergeant, and doesn't want to ship out to Iraq, and wants to change his mind.

Or if he'd gotten a degree in philosophy, which is almost as useless as a degree in creative writing (don't ask), and ended up not being able to find a job, and then getting into lower management for some corporation, where he'd feel out of his depth, and he'd hate his boss, and hate the secretary because she won't sleep with him, and hate that he wants to buy a fancier car but can't afford it...

I guess what it comes down to is that Riley probably would have been a crybaby no matter what. His immaturity is palpable. He's definitely having a harder time due to these circumstances, but he's got it really good in comparison to what it could have been like. He doesn't seem to have a whole lot of intelligence, either. He whines his way out of paper bags.

And now he thinks he wants to get married to Corbin. But then he doubts it. Then he wants everyone else's approval. I almost picture this kid wearing diapers. It makes Corbin a very sympathetic character - he needs love, and softness, and someone to care for, to the point that he's willing to put up with this brat.

I haven't gotten farther than this part, yet, so I'm hoping to see some growth in this kid. I know he's young - I myself took a decade or so longer than necessary to mature into a real grown-up, so I know this happens. But in the arc of the story, the reader needs to see the protagonist grow and change. He's got so much going for him, the seeds are there for the sowing to really start on a path to adulthood.

I read Exiles a while back, and found the same thing a little frustrating - the teen transitioning to adulthood. Emotionally self-indulgent teens are such annoying little assholes! I don't think it was a flaw in the writing, just the nature of teenagers, and you write that very realistically.

A couple of things I'm having a problem with in the story: The Edem aren't very "alien." They're kind of like humans with claws. Well, JUST like humans with claws. There's no real foreigness to them. I do like the Edem - they seem more intelligent and societally cohesive than humans. The military aspect is nicely infused, as is the fact that they're learning to come down from DEFCON-1 and settle in this new home world. I like the descriptions of some of the aspects of the ship - the sanctuary, the absolute vastness, the neglected areas, the constant work that needs to be done. There is a weirdness that comes through. But the fact that so much of it has been converted to a human style of living just seems to rob us of the chance for something very alien, or at least for more strangeness, un-earthiness, to come through. Streets with shops and bars and streetlamps, McDonald's, and trains (maybe the transportation could have been a little more imaginative?), the apartments and kitchens and televisions and jeans, tennis shoes, bars with beer and sports on TV. The Edem have nothing truly strange about them - they don't have interesting rituals, or even this deeply military life they've lived for 600k years could have been played with more. No one salutes, there's nothing otherworldly going on, no rich backstory of who these creatures are - just a basic outline. Where's the mystery, the depth, the difference between species?

In Exiles, it seemed that this "differentness" seeped in a little more. The Edem in that story came across as positively menacing. The claws were described in detail, and the various physical aspects, although few. were pointed out. Not just "bigger dicks," but (if I remember right), they were shaped slightly animal-like, there was a description of taste and smell. And the military background of the Edem came across more, even though the men were on Earth and so had reasons to wear human clothes. live in human style housing, and eat Earth food, and so forth.

Riley's story, when it comes down to it, could have been placed completely on Earth with no aliens at all. He could have ended up in a foreign country for all the differences. An after-high school trip to Greece, and he ends up doing something drunk and stupid and goes to a foreign jail for basically nothing, and stays a couple of years, has a prison guard become a lover, and when he's released it's on condition that he doesn't leave the country until his probationary period is up.

The science fiction aspect of this story is washed out, which is a shame because I love science fiction! It can be ANYTHING! There's an intellectual depth to sci fi, an ability to show imagination and possibilities and strangeness that isn't going to be possible any other way. The opportunity was lost here - the "sci fi" of it is simply a not-really-that-hostile invasion by not-really-that-different aliens. It's too Syfy channel (science fiction for people who don't really like science fiction).

So that's my biggest complaint. Riley and Corbin are even getting married. The Edem get married just like humans - in the western hemisphere too. Where is the weirdness? These are aliens! It's just too much like an American military base in space. I like the Edem - I would love to have seen more of their alienness.

I'm looking forward to reading more and I'll review again. I'm sorry you didn't get more reviews, this is an engaging story and I'm definitely enjoying it!

Oh my gosh, this is mattmesh from forever ago. I'm not sure if you remember me but I was a giant fan of Exiles.

I have loved finishing this story finally as well. I had caught up to it when I was still in college and now I'm sitting at my computer at my day job and am being taken back to those times when life was easier and I was more naive. Maybe I like these stories so much because I relate to Wilf and Riley, and their feelings and experiences. All I can say for certain is that I find their lives and stories interested, and I pray pray pray to god that you will get us the second part of this story eventually! I have to know what happens to Corbin and Riley, and I have to see if they end up okay. I need to see their reunion so badly it hurts. I just want them to be happy and free together. I honestly was not pleased with the rebellion spin you decided to go with, but I'm invested to see what happens. I think it would've been more interesting to see Riley placed in a position of power and having to grapple with truly becoming an Edem, but I think of the possibilities for Corbin and Riley's relationship to become stronger through this rebellion arc and I think it can be even better. The Agol twist was also really awesome tbh, I'm really actually hoping to see Riley bridge the gap between the humans and the edem. I know theres a way they can resolve this and come together if the Agol are involved...but we'll see.

Thank you for your continued dedication and work. You have provided me with countless hours of entertainment and thoughts to ponder about our world and my own life. You are doing an authors work and I'm grateful to have existed at the same time that this story was published.

I'm not logged in but if you want to talk or need an editor or something to read through everything, I am always happy to help. My email is

Again, thank you wordsmith. Thank you.

I enjoyed the story but do you have a sequel.

I find enjoyment in so few fan works these days it’s almost a chore to sift through all the incoherent and unoriginal attempts at storytelling. It’s gems like this story, Prison Intimacy, that makes the searching and the waiting (oh, the waiting...) worthwhile. I look forward to reading your future works. You truly are a wordsmith.

Hello! I arrived and started reading Prison Intimacy having not read anything prior (Exiles specifically). I have a rule for when I read on FP, and that's if I finish a piece, I let the author know that I did so and what carried me through. I think for this one I found a lot of 'keep reading' motivation in the sheer need to know what happens next. I wanted to know how things turned out for Riley. I needed to know how things turned out for Corbin AND Riley. I wanted to know how things turned out between Earth's inhabitants and the Edem. So that rings of good story crafting and the ability to end each chapter and section with enough question to push onward. Not an easy thing to do in the least.

I was a little saddened when I reached the chapter where the drive first appeared that I realized it was very unlikely I would receive the answers to the questions (at least if the answers weren't "character dies and utter war breaks out"). My feelings about the ending are mixed, mostly because my feelings about Riley, about Riley AND Corbin, and about the tension between the two species was mixed. I have to imagine that was intentional, and therefore masterfully done. I can see in some ways where Riley 'grew up', especially in the last few chapters, but in others, I'm not fully convinced. The whole work, he was operating the best he could on limited information, constantly being told he was 'young' and 'a child'. His goal (as I read it) was always to survive (without being hurt), get back to earth, and 'not hurt anyone'. I suppose that is how I would characterize Riley. So here, in the ending, his discovering the Agol, his deciding to not 'let it happen', taking Jacob with him, it's not that far of a character arc from where/what he'd been all along. The players and stakes were just higher. That being said, his thoughts of being like Helmsley (who was far and away my favorite character, then Jon btw), his statement that he was Edem and a soldier, that moment is where I might be convinced he had some sort of definitive change/growing-up. But I would need another three or four chapters of him living it out to know for sure, because there had been other moments that seemed transitory and he wiffled back to what he was before.

I was sad that Riley decided to take off with the drive, especially without even knowing REALLY what was on it. But I understand why it had to happen. If for no other reason, he had to make a choice, had to be the ‘master of his own destiny’, because that is what humans demand, even if they’re jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Speaking of mixed feelings: Corbin. Loved him. Hated him. Was so sad when they told Riley that his warrant for arrest was because Corbin took the blame, again, for Riley's sake. But maybe it wasn't for Riley's sake. Maybe that would also land Corbin in the least hot water. In some ways, Corbin feels very tossed around... but then every time he hit Riley, I wanted him to keel over with a heart attack. (Y'know, being NOT a fan of abusing those you supposedly love.) I find it entirely likely if he had never raised his fists against Corbin that I would have only loved him, even for all his other self-centered assholery, which just read as ‘being Edem’ until he started hitting Corbin. Then it felt like seriously imbalanced, unhealthy relationship territory. On the other hand, apparently having a line of ‘as long as it’s only emotional and not physical, then it’s fine’ probably speaks of an imbalance in me. _

I suppose the last observation I would offer is that several of the Edem seemed very invested in understanding the psychology and philosophy of their 'hosting' species (my assumption, correct or not, was that it was indicative of how the entire Edem populace approached ‘absorbing’, because there were so many times that it was pointed out that the species approached and thought of things in the same way). They read the books. The philosophers. The moralists. They listened to the music. They studied the religion... two religions. While I will cannot argue that by pure numbers Christianity is NOT the dominant religion on earth, the failure to mention others seems a touch narrow, especially for a race that adheres to a polytheistic faith. I feel like they would have known about and probably mentioned Shiva, Allah, Buddah, Ancestors, Great Spirits, Mother Earth, etc. Perhaps they made the assumption that because Riley was white and from North America that his god was that of the Christian faith, but that seems tremendously shortsighted for a race like this. If it was an example of Edems thinking they knew everything and DIDN'T, then I would have expected mixing of religions and sort of smashing them all into one belief. In what I believe is a similar vein, I have to assume that the reference of 'Americans and their love of guns and freedom' refers to US Citizens (mostly because it was often used in contrast of 'I'm from Canada, I'm not American'). I would point out I have met many individuals from South American countries that express indignation when a US Citizen refers to him/herself as 'American', replying with 'I am also American as I live in the Americas.' And by such logic, Canadians too, are 'Americans', certainly not US Citizens, but Americans. My real point here, is that this story was set up as 'Earth against aliens', but seemed to settled pretty firmly in 'North America against aliens' territory. I understand 'writing what you know', and I certainly could see where trying to include too much more could bog things down. However, including at least more than passing mention of other places - even if it was some kind of derisive conversation of ‘the only thing you earthlings actually agree on is hating each other and us’ - would go a long way to further maturing this work. I only push these last two issues because with everything you did include (philosophy, religion, social norms, morals) it seemed like you were really seeking a true assessment and dissection of humanity but buttressing it up against outsiders.

My comments are always meant to be constructive, helpful, and positive. So if any of it read as anything else, I do apologize, and I assure you that was not the intended effect. Cheers!

This ending reminded me a lot of Heinlein’s “Starship Troopers” (I’ve only read the book, not sure if it’s the same in the movie/tv show) in how unexpected, inconclusive, and yet symbolic it feels. I don’t necessarily *like* endings like this, but I respect them and I think Riley's maturation was well-articulated.

You’re a master at character arcs and character development in general, and for some reason I keep coming back to Heinlein – in a good way. In some ways I think you’re better than he was in about making your readers feel and empathize for your characters. My heart really ached for Riley at times, for the injustice he experienced, and for the inaction and apathy he subsequently experienced from the people who held power and authority over him. Anyway, great job!

Thank you for this amazing work! I read Exiles previously and I found it to be too dark for my tastes, but this definitely was better suited. I'm glad Riley left and explored what he wanted to do in life and is taking risks. Your characterizations of the Edem make them both terrifying yet pitiable, and it's a very fine line that you manage to keep in balance. I would love to read more on Riley, see where he is going, and possibly a reunion with Corbin. Thank you again, and hope to read your other future works.

I think I like the Riley in this chapter more than in the rest of the story - because of how active he is. I have no idea how his family or the gang from the ship would recieve him back, but the very fact that he had 'solidified' as a whole complete chatacter all on his own is a significant help when I continue the chain of events in my head.
I was surprised and extremely pleased to learn Clive had decided to explain the reason for Riley's running to the authorities, I wonder what he explained to Riley's family and how they reacted to the news.
I feel that it's a wonderful ending, at fist when I finished reading I thought the ending was too open and incomplete and I didn't exactly know how to react to it, but I tried reading it again and I found that it's just at the stage at which Riley developed to the exact point I personally wanted him to be through the whole story.

I loved it.

I wish I'd been able to read about Corbin and Riley reuniting! However, there were a few clues in this chapter that point to the possibility of a happy ending (for example, Corbin making up something to keep Riley from getting in trouble), so in a way the readers can imagine a possible ending. I could see Riley returning with Jacob and everyone being happy again (as happy as can be in a situation like this).
The very end was sort of a cliffhanger, and creepy (about seeing the Agol open an eye).
I hope you return to this in a few years - it'd be great to see where everyone ends up and how things turn out between the humans and the Edem!

really enjoyed the ending! okay so i love babies haha and anytime i read fics where the mc has to take care of one it just makes me really happy? what happened to tara is really devastating though :( and im glad riley managed to get hardy in the end. oof the reveal that corbin and his friends covered for riley.. i love how open ended you left the story. i know there are a lot of people that wanted riley to go back to him- and with jacob being half human and edem i could see a scenario where riley comes back and the two adopt him? also i got shivers when the agol sample woke up. because of how serious the edem are about the agol, i got some nuclear weapons type vibe with the fight about using the agol sample as biological weapons or not. i think what could be interesting in a future installment of prison intimacy would be an exploration of riley as an adult man that rejects the traditional “toxic” roles of masculinity. i really liked seeing him become jacob’s main caretaker and the fact that he still stands up to hardy at the ends also shows us that men dont necessarily have to choose between being soft or strong? i guess i wouldnt be opposed to riley and corbin getting back together as long as they both grow as people and really communicate about all the problems of their relationship? thanks for the great story wordsmith! looking forward to your next work, whenever it comes out and whatever its about :)

took a while for me to review this chapter again but here i am! love what quinn says about marriage at the beginning :) i think it is interesting we see this topic show up after riley had basically pressured himself into marrying corbin. clive also compares him to his wife and one could definitely argue that riley and corbin’s relationship mirrors the traditional patriarchal heterosexual relationship. since corbin is expected to be the full provider and riley returns this with total submission. its also a very transactional way to looking at relationships- which is why what quinn says about the state funding mothers really resonsates with me ! i want to like hardy because i think its great to finally see an edem go against the wishes of pretty much every other edem we have seen in the story. his talk of monsters is what makes me go? you can definitely call the edem monsters so it could mean he just views his own people with that much contempt. but the way he says it and beats his chest almost feels like he’s playing pretend. i think any ally to the human resistance is really helpful, but if his heart isnt in the right place it feels like he could possibly just abandon it whenever he feels like it? another great chapter as always and i cant wait for the finale! it will kill me haha