|Reviews for Yesterday's Toys|
| RainbowPearls chapter 13 . 5/27/2018
Uhm, I'm a bit perplexed about whose POV it was. I guess it was Golden one's.
The writer seems to be glad that she's isn't hungry yet and he doesn't need to eat her yet, ( which suggests he might at some point might have a necessity to eat her? **gulps**)
The writer seems to define and think his bond with her and it goes to long back since they couldn't even speak, **sweet ; )**
Oh, I'll be waiting for the day when he'll take her with him :)
| RainbowPearls chapter 12 . 5/26/2018
I just feel so like why is she so curious of being eaten by him. Sometimes I feel to say her, "Please could you calm down a bit? Maybe you are not that tasty, why don't you just observe him and maybe...uhm..grin?"
yeah I agree, She was unharmed.
I know too well, xD She was fed.
Nice chapter overall.
My favorite expression was that one where she mention herself being skinny and willing to oblige him by getting more meat under her skin and being edible! xD
| the aspiring cynic chapter 16 . 5/23/2018
The world you've crafted is simply amazing. Seeing things through Jay's eyes (especially modern conveniences) is so charming; I simply adore her personality and mental fortitude. The fact that Mach really doesn't understand that Jay still believes he'll eat her is an interesting dynamic. There's a lot of things left unspoken between them that needs to be cleared up but it's intriguing to watch them edge around each other like this. Really enjoy the interludes! Still wondering if they're previous incarnations of Jay and Mach...Thanks for sharing!
| The Warrior Poet chapter 16 . 5/21/2018
So now we have iPads joining toilets and showers to confuse Jay.
There is clearly something I am missing here. Based on the evidence so far, I get the feeling that the “eating people” that the golden ones are supposed to do means something different than actually putting a thigh cutlet on the grill and going to town. Still, it must represent some outcome that is less than desirable. Maybe there is some loss of existence that happens which is not necessarily death. That doesn’t make sense, I know, but those are my thoughts right now.
The tension and pacing have slowed since Jay was strapped to the bed as a “sacrifice” -which is not necessarily a bad thing depending on where things are going- but I do find myself hoping for a bit of action or at least some kind of confrontation between the two at this point.
| Jaya Avendel chapter 16 . 5/20/2018
I liked the Golden One's explanation of the Log. It is kind of a sweet gesture he is making leaving the marks for her to read. Poor fellow is lonely and wants to be kind to her for all that she was a little bitter thinking about how he had abandoned her again.
Poor girl, fumbling with the unfamiliar magic of the shower. Mach received several angry thoughts as she worked her way through it!
| BradytheJust chapter 15 . 5/9/2018
Okay, this character who is writing the journal would so be me when it comes to encountering a pretty girl. The giddiness, the sickness, the desire to hug! :) Plus I talk to many inanimate objects when I’m alone, so I love it!
I get a strange sense of sitting there and reading this story while the events in the journal playout in front of me, you’ve written it that well. Great job!
| Jaya Avendel chapter 15 . 5/7/2018
I was wondering when the next Interlude would come up.
The loneliness of I is apparent, as he wonders and walks and writes in his journal in the desolate land you describe so well. It has the hazy life of a dreamland. The last journal entry that wrapped up the chapter was moving; I enjoyed the part telling of "the sum total of every female character in every romance story I have ever furtively read in the archives" the most.
Archives makes me think of some large computer network, for some reason.
The Interlude adds a little to the story away from the Golden One's quarters, and gives life to the world in ruin.
Looking forward to more!
| The Warrior Poet chapter 15 . 5/5/2018
Loneliness seems to be a major theme of this story.
I can’t help but compare the plight of the Unfortunate with the malfunctioning stasis pod to the plight of the Golden One...Alone in the darkness, one person awake among a thousand asleep, until someone special shines out of it like a beacon. Then everything becomes a lot more complicated.
As much as I enjoy telling people how much I would love to dissapear alone into the mountains with no companion save myself, the truth is that humans are social creatures. For this reason, the theme works. In a post apocalyptic world like you are describing, friendship could be a commodity just as valuable as food or water.
My assumption here is that the “I” later becomes who we know as the Golden One, and that Jay is somehow little lady chestnut. Obviously, some kind of memory loss would have to take place, not to mention a change in hair color...so in reality I am clueless. I have really liked the interludes, though. They are a nice addition that really flesh out your world and add weight to the backstory.
| Jaya Avendel chapter 14 . 4/24/2018
Nice chapter! It had some excellent revelations in it that I enjoyed. The beginning description of the heroine, with the careful detail to the arcs of her face. I can picture her clearly and even feel a little of the Golden One's desires.
Jayyeas is a nice name. The conversation she had with the Golden One showed two people thrown together by fate into a difficult position and you brought that across very well. The uncertainty and even the little bit of bluntness was well done.
| I. C. Kyeropas chapter 14 . 4/23/2018
This story is absolutely enthralling. I love to critique, but I have nothing. I almost forgot to eat because I was reading this story.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 14 . 4/22/2018
Mac starts out this chapter in full creeper mode, but despite the strange satisfaction he gets out of watching Jay sleep I loved the descriptions in that part. I feel as if I have a good handle on how Jay looks now.
It is starting to seem as if the ‘she’ that has been referenced throughout the story up until now is the former Golden One, who is apparently still alive in one form or another. I’m not sure exactly how the crown is passed from one person to another, but it is quite possible that some part of the last Golden One may still remain within Mac somehow, kind of like the Trill in Star Trek. If this is true that could mean bad news for Jay. Mac has made it clear that he doesn’t intend to eat Jay, but ‘she’ on the other hand...
Some questions answered, but still plenty remaining. A good place to end the second part.
| BradytheJust chapter 14 . 4/20/2018
“Her features were a composition of arcs” I fell even more in love with your writing when you wrote that sentence. Your description of Jay made me squeal a bit simply because I wish I could describe my characters like that. Describing someone using arcs as a base is very unique and you do it extremely well!
Ah, the angst! :O but at least our characters are introduced now... so hopefully we’ll soon get a third cute character into the mix! :D
| The Warrior Poet chapter 13 . 4/19/2018
There is definitely a loneliness to this character, a need which can not be fully met by this 'She'. I'm not sure if his desire to simply live side-by-side with Jayyes is a realistic one, especially since the Golden One has thus far remained mum about the connection he has with her, a connection which Jayyes evidently doesn't remember or remembers differently. Also, this 'She' seems to be quite needy and distrustful of strangers (unless they are coming to her as food.) A living arrangement with the three of them is destined to fail.
I have to admit that I am still pretty perplexed about what is going on. I don't even have a theory at this point, which is unusual for me. Bravo on that!
| The Warrior Poet chapter 12 . 4/19/2018
There is an interesting dichotomy presented in this chapter between Jayyes' instinct to survive and her submission to the Golden One as a sacrifice. So far the submissive side is winning, but I can sense the strength of the survival instinct lurking just beneath the surface, ready to emerge at any moment. As a colonist the keenness of her survival instinct is likely the only reason she has survived long enough to become a sacrifice.
The Golden One's departure is an interesting turn of events. I can't help but wonder what he is up to, and what exactly he expects from Jayyes. From what we have learned from the Golden One's POV he has definitely allowed her to live for a reason that goes beyond fattening her up.
| The Warrior Poet chapter 11 . 4/18/2018
The way that Jayyes reacts to the Golden One’s disrobing makes her character seem sort of...prudish? It is an interesting quirk to insert into a character who has seemed so assertive and “no bullsh*t” up til now. I would think that a hardened space colonist and intergalatic traveler would not become so discomfited by a naked guy with a trim bod. Then again this is the Golden One so perhaps that is where the difference lies.
I was amused by the introduction of the kitchenette and toilet and the terms that the golden one must use to help Jayyes understand, though I can’t help but wonder why she would not remember these items from earth. This makes me question whether the POV from the interlude was indeed Jayyes or someone else entirely. The “I hate waiting” thing made me think it was, but I suppose that is never explicitly stated. Or, another possibility is that the planet that was discussed wasn’t earth at all.
Curiouser and curiouser.