|Reviews for The chase underwater|
| ooff chapter 1 . 11/11/2017
The premise was interesting, but you executed it poorly. Your first-person is amateurish and unnatural. That's the main complaint. Ruined the whole story, because it ruined the description, the character, and the ability to emote.
Description was further worsened through consistent use of passive voice rather than active voice, and unfocused description caused by your blindness to the whole scene.
Felt dull throughout. Also take out the all-caps during exclamation, it's lazy and cringy, unable to properly describe speech.
Other complaints, uh, few spelling errors, change in tenses. Nothing major.