|Reviews for Untouchable|
| lirianstar chapter 3 . 3/14
"Nah, I just felt like screwing around with some gangtas..."
I hate to admit...
But I must submit (however reluctantly...)
and completely commit,
TO LUX'S HUMOR XD
| Jae Hwa chapter 6 . 2/6
I see you added some new characters into the mix. I have mixed feelings about them... while their intentions are noble, its rendered annoying since well, they're needlessly hostile towards Ellie. But it's not their fault, if I were Yuliya I'd think Ellie was on Lux's side too. Honestly though, it seems as though she might have a teeny tiny crush on Lux.
Good work as usual!
| Jae Hwa chapter 3 . 2/4
Honestly, their reactions to Lux is really spot-on. Of course they think he can do no wrong because he's hot and an angel! And also, most people don't pluck violin strings. Bowing, maybe? The string is really thick and I only ever plucked one song, and it was a nursery song.
Poor Ellie. I hope the pastor really works!
| Guest chapter 3 . 1/24
Ooh, I used to play the violin, too! But plucking on the violin hurts like crap, maybe bowing? Poor Ellie, I'm positive Lux isn't an angel, or we've been fed the wrong image of an angel!
| Jae Hwa chapter 2 . 1/17
Leon and Ellie really do care about each other more than normal siblings. That's great! Sometimes the scenes becomes a bit muddled so I'm not sure what's going on. Like when Ellie transformed back to a human, it wasn't described and it just skipped to Lux spotting a sopping wet Ellie. Adding a line break or some sort of symbol would counter that.
I find it weird how Lux just accepts the name the media has given him despite sounding mad about it in Leon's mind earlier, and why in the world would you name an angel Lux? If I spot an angel, I'd think of some Biblical name like Michael or Lucy or whatever. But Lux /is/ a cool name, you gotta admit. Lux seems like an interesting character here.
Look forward to the next chapters!
| lirianstar chapter 2 . 1/17
Wow, this sure was interesting!
I'm not exactly sure where the relationship between the two is heading, given that Lux is possessing her brother, but I can't wait to find out!
Really like the writing style overall -
Nothing by way of critique - except a little bit more background detail as the dialogues happen!
| Jae Hwa chapter 1 . 1/13
My head is swirling at everything happening in this chapter. That's definitely a way to grab my attention. Ellie and Leon sound surprisingly close for a pair of teenage twins. Usually siblings fight a lot, especially twins. I like the imagery and simple way everyone was introduced, it was easy to read. I had a hard time keeping up, as characters kept popping up left and right.
I couldn't really find any errors in terms of grammar etc. That's great! This sounds like an epic adventure for the twins! Sorry its kind of short, I couldn't really find any fault besides too many characters appearing at once. Cheers!
| lirianstar chapter 1 . 1/7
I really liked this. The plot is fascinating, and the details are on point too.I'll be coming back to this! I'm curious to find out what happens next.
| Denka chapter 3 . 11/22/2017
Poor Ellie can't catch a break. Were they fighting over an Amazon Echo? lol