|Reviews for Final Light|
| DeathflareGoddess chapter 51 . 13h
Haven't reviewed in a while despite reading every chapter moments after I get the email. That's my fault! However decided to say I love the characterization you have of everyone in the story so far. Dante's chapter had altered my opinion on him quite a bit. Possibly had the biggest impact on me too.
Despite all this in really waiting on the plot to kick back up again! Especially since it seems like we're getting closer to meeting the first real antagonist soon. Keep it up! I love reading this story. By far one of the more unique ones around nowadays.
| Guest chapter 49 . 8/29
I'll just have to hold my breath until then! For real, thanks for letting us know.
| Jacky Dario chapter 45 . 7/25
Glad you feel better. I look forward to the next update.
| DeathflareGoddess chapter 43 . 7/7
This chapter was great as always and made a big leap in the plot progression. I gotta reinstate I love how you switch perspectives between characters like you do. Makes the world and story feel more alive and gives emphasis on other characters along with the MC Runic.
I've also noticed how Izunata and Runic have a lot of parallel relationships with other characters. Runic/Jeremy's relationship mirrors Izunata's & Jacks. Izunata & Runic have a similar relationship that Runic has with Lysander and Izu with Cyrus. It's just all engrossing to read about the similarities and differences. It's why I'm hyped for them all to meet up again.
What really got me this chapter is Izunata's sister talking about a 'reunion' with her and targeting Nero. Who is she working for? Did Izunata give her that scar across the throat and that's why she sounds full of hatred for her? So many possibilities, I love this story.
Eagerly awaitng the next chapter, keep it up!
| guest chapter 3 . 6/29
chapter 3 - fixed with python magic:
Final Light Chapter Three - Welcome to Umbral City!
"Feels like we've walked for hours..." Runic muttered to himself as he lugged around the cooler and metal chair growing ever more irritated by the walk. His soft pale eyes casting upwards towards the thick greenery of the canopy above and the night sky beyond. All of this walking, without any visible progression of time threw off his sense of advancement; as if he were walking in a loop for eternity. Groaning rather audibly, Runic lowered his head and closed his eyes as he walked at the same stagnant pace as Jeremy. Halfway thinking the reason this venture was taking so long was because of the man's decrepit body taking eons to walk a few feet. This carried on for gods know how long, eventually hitting a point he couldn't take this feeling of limbo and spoke with slight yet profound irritation in his still generally respectful tone.
"How long have we been walking? Are we even halfway there yet?" He asked with an audible groan afterwards. Jeremy looking at the slightly taller boy with an amused expression across his aged features as he walked even slower a moment as if playing a joke on Runic. The deadpan stare that was shot his way afterwards showed quite clearly Runic didn't like that joke of his; a chuckle escaping Jeremy before he nudged his head at the glowing crystal growths jutting out of the trees around them.
"It's close to midnight, these lands have evolved ways to tell time when we don't have clocks convenient for our leisure. Look for the brightness differentiation between the crystals when you're walking through these woods again. The green shades glow brightest during the day, the red during dusk and dawn, the blue during noon and midnight. It's a cycle that repeats at the same time every day." As he said this Runic turned to look at the crystals on the nearest tree to his right, several jagged glowing growths lining the base of a tall and strong tree that towered above him. These crystals were rather big, erupting from the ground as high as his shoulder at the tip of the tallest one. The green glow overshadowing the other shades of yellow, red and blue. His brow furrowing, pointing slightly at the yellow and white crystals at the base.
"What about those colors?" He asked not recalling Jeremy saying anything about those being related to time. The old man hand waving away any concern about those as he cleared his throat and started walking again with a hum to his voice.
"The crystals when they aren't red, green are blue but aren't white are newer structures that will eventually take root. The white crystals are the ones nearing the end of their lives so to speak. When they 'die', they break down into something akin to glitter residue, scattering to the wind. When this happens on a larger scale we call the residue that scatters across the forest diamond dust." He paused, glancing back to Runic and gesturing he pick up the pace again. Ironic since Jeremy was the one walking slow to begin with. "If you see diamond dust in large amounts it's said to be good luck. Rarely do multiple crystals die at once and leave the dust in such a large volume it can sift through an entire forest." He chuckled turning ahead to walk down the dirt path once more. A soft breeze washing over Runic, ruffling his thick layered bangs of spiky platinum silver hair that framed his face and his eyes catching what looked like glitter in the smallest amount floating in the air.
So that was Diamond Dust? It was very little, almost missed seeing it entirely, but it was pretty to look at...
"Runic! Come on now don't let an old man out pace you!" Jeremy clicked the bottom of his boot against a rock slab beside him snapping Runic out of his focus on the wind. The young man shaking his head to wake himself and jogging to catch up to Jeremy who was about a meter away.
"Sorry..." Runic said quietly as hands moved to the pockets of his torn at the knees, calf and ankle black jeans. Looking at his own bare feet tapping against the soft dirt of the ground. Jeremy glancing over at him again, appraising the young man's figure for a moment before snorting and catching Runic's attention.
"I guess... once we get to the city I'll throw in a bit of Lunis and buy you some new clothes. Goodness knows you need it haha." Jeremy sighed reaching to tug on the tail end of Runic's torn black shirt that left portions of his upper chest and flank on the left side exposed revealing pale skin. Runic blinking quizzical at him, thinking to himself the gesture wasn't really needed as he had already done enough to help.
"I... You don't have to do that. I can figure out some things by myself when we get there." Runic tried to decline the offer only to get ignored by Jeremy in fact continuing on about what he was going to buy Runic as a change of clothes. The two walking side by side at the same stagnant pace, how long has it even been since they started he wondered...
"Think since it's getting cold out a nice black fur-trimmed coat and jeans coupled with some reliable boots would be to your liking? I know the guys your age in the city like to dress stylish to impress the vixen and the like haha." Jeremy chuckled while Runic didn't say anything back. He didn't even know if anything he said would skewer the decisions the geezer made anyway. Looking around again at the tall trees, to the stout bushes and intertwined thickets all around dotted with rocks and boulders with short grass, Runic couldn't help but yet again admire the scenery. This forest was vast, yet it felt tight-knit and narrow along the path they were going. The only clear pathway being a dusty old trail the two were following now for what felt like an eternity.
Jeremy stopped talking, and stopped walking... Runic doing the same shortly after and glancing at him with a furrowed brow wondering why again they were stopping. Brown eyes staring forward and never breaking line of sight to peer at Runic, a small smile and a chuckle crept across old man Jeremy's face as he tilted his head forward and cleared his throat. All the while Runic cast his gaze in the direction of the man's own view towards a large clearing at the farthest end of the forest now visible with a wide valley with pathways leading to a massive walled by black stone city that looked to be carved into the side of a mountain in the shape of a climbing pyramidal structure that creeped upwards towards the peak.
"That my boy..." Jeremy paused, walking forward again and nudging Runic on the arm with his elbow as Runic was awestruck by how large the city was it could be seen from here through the forest now. "That... Is Umbral City. The Jewel and Capital of Kynerva the Crescent Moon continent you're on. Well..." He paused again, tilting his head in silent thought before moving forward yet again. "It's pretty much the last standing city and thus the capital by default now. Only city to stand ever since I've been born." He said a bit more melancholy than usual which of course Runic didn't notice. Having been too star struck by the massive walls of the city built into the bedrock of a giant mountain that seemed to graze the heavens. The clouds of the night sky shrouding the landmarks icy peak and an arching arch of rock touching coast to coast in a half-moon hovering over the long winding road to its gates.
"It's more impressive than I thought it'd be..." Runic muttered to himself, starting to walk again. His eyes flaring up in their soft pale glows for but a moment as he moved and fixated his gaze on that city in the distance in another hypnotic focus. Tapping his foot again to get Runic's attention Jeremy gestured they hurry to the end of the forest where the wide open valley leading to the city began. An audible clearing of the throat as he coughed shortly afterwards.
"We won't have to walk across the valley when we get to the edge of the forest. Carriages regularly travels to the outskirts of this place and back to the city carrying goods and people. The road we took through the woods here was more a nature trail than an actual merchants road. Probably why it felt so closed and claustrophobic huh?" Jeremy laughed lightly which surprisingly got a chuckle from Runic himself as the two walked. The amnesic yawning soon, showing a bit of fatigue was finally hitting him while he wiped watery eyes with his right arm.
"I'm assuming you're going to pay them to take us all the way to the city too?" Runic eye rolled. Jeremy immediately responding in a proud tone of voice.
"Damn right! What old man really walks this far out in the woods just to build a campfire and relax? Oh no no-no not this geezer!" He as this was said nodded very matter of fact. Sage like almost! Runic very quickly raised his brow incredulously at Jeremy as the two then looked at one another in pausing quiet.
Both Jeremy and Runic started laughing in unison at the old man's words; Runic a bit more calmly amused while Jeremy was a bit more dramatic about it. Eventually the two stopping at the edge of the forest, Runic feeling a lot more expansive and spacious once he stepped away from the last few thickets that swallowed him up in the forest and was now among vast rolling green plains and wide open scenery. A herd of rather large quadrupedal herbivores with imposing tusks and robust black-skinned bodies seen far off to the right in the distance travelling to a flowing river not too far away. Runic could only imagine the types of predators and prey that called these grasslands their homes.
"Ah!" Jeremy exclaimed pointing a crooked finger towards a carriage emerging from one of the main merchant trails of the forest less than a quarter of a mile down to the left of them. Runic peering over quizzically at the man, and then to the wooden carriage being pulled by what appeared to be a fierce-looking bipedal raptorial feathered bird. It's hooked forearms feathered like wings and its three-toed feet had on each foot a rather large recurved sickle claw that was cone-shaped and flexed off the ground constantly held up.
"What kind of animal is that?" Runic asked a bit amazed at the creature. Jeremy peering over at him and answering as he headed towards the carriage with a rush in his step.
"That larger than a man creature there is what we call a Raptor. You think they look intimidating by themselves? Ha should see them in a pack. Some of the nastiest animals in these parts yet they can be domesticated to serve as protection from bandits and moving heavy loads." Jeremy explained while beckoning over his shoulder for Runic to follow. "Come on boy help me flag this carriage down! I'll get us a ride to Umbral City no problem." He called out in a hurry while Runic hesitated a moment and looked over his own torn clothes in confusion. Wouldn't it be odd approaching a random person looking like he was and expecting a ride? Eyes narrowed in thought, Runic eventually shrugged and ran to catch up with Jeremy. If the guy thought he could get them a ride across the valley, who was he to stop him?
"Better than walking." He sighed dragging his feet after the old man.
A couple of hours later...
Jeremy waved towards the carriage driver as Runic hopped off the back of the wooden deck with an audible thud on the stone beneath him. The coldness touching the soles of his feet briefly made him shiver a bit in discomfort as he took off the camping equipment and set it on the ground while Jeremy and the driver spoke.
"Thanks for the lift my friend, for your troubles." Jeremy chuckled tossing a small bag of currency to the driver who waved them off and continued into the open gates of the city before them. Runic looking upwards at the towering fifty meter high walls in disbelief something like this was built by people like him and Jeremy... Well, Jeremy in his younger days probably. Two many feet thick doors of towering stone laid open outwards like arms outstretched to slowly embrace those coming within its confines. The black minerals grainy and robust in aesthetic, clearly showing this city took pride in its architecture. People of all kinds and even odd-looking bestial races walking to and from the gates lugging materials, linked with family and friends, by their lonesome and anything else in between with a variety of various aesthetics to them. Some looked like battle-hardened warriors, others looked like punks and rabble, some looked like fair weathered people while others looked a bit rougher than most with their luck. This city was a melting pot of races and cultures...
"Welcome to Umbral City boy, this here be the Worker's District. Most of these people you see walking around are heading out for jobs or just returning from them." Jeremy huffed, picking up his tent and cane again off the ground while Runic grabbed the cooler and metal chair again and the two started walking into the city. The platinum silver-haired amnesic noticing the looks people occasionally gave him due to his attire, though none seemed to be too notable to him implying those that frequented around the gates in this Worker's District saw more than just a roughed up man on a daily. Looking all around he saw stands and posts littered with contracts for work and people chatting about business or pay everywhere he saw. A couple of stray dogs running across the wide open crossroads that splayed out in multiple directions like veins through the body that was Umbral City. Job stands, working lines, material lugging people, you name it. This part of the city screamed the life of a working adventurer to him.
"The people here are mainly sellswords from the Mercenary guild and merchants. It's called the Worker's District in regards to outsourcing jobs and not those that focus on the integral structures of the city like power, water and all that. When you get better you should look around for something here and make yourself some quick money." Jeremy spoke as they traversed through the bustling wide streets of carriages and carts being pulled through spacious groups of stands and people. Runic not replying, simply looking here and there with quiet features and analytical pale eyes. Eventually turning to look at Jeremy with a question he'd just remembered to ask from earlier.
"You said if I wanted to find out more about this place to check out the city, right? Where exactly would I go to do that?" Runic asked with no profound urgency in his voice but nonetheless possessing a slight tone of it. It seemed he really were set on before doing anything else, trying to figure out as much as he could about his surroundings in hopes of triggering some possible memories in his mind. Jeremy however, seemed to have different plans for Runic off the bat. This made clear by the dismissive shake of his head and the snort of disbelief after that.
"We'll worry about that later, for now we gotta get you some clothes and hook you up with a place to stay." The dark-skinned man said casually. Runic frowning a bit him that he was still going on about that. Didn't he tell him earlier that wouldn't be needed? He didn't want to be in debt to some stranger down the line, it didn't sit right with him. An eye roll, and Runic stopped walking and pivoted around in front of the shorter Jeremy to look him in the eyes and speak with a tone of seriousness that still showed respect.
"Look, Jeremy..." Runic paused a few seconds. Jeremy raising a curious brow at him in return before the amnesic continued. "I appreciate all you've done so far but really, it's not needed... I can take care of myself and I don't think I want to be in your debt the rest of my life at this rate." He said with a sigh, looking to Jeremy awaiting a response a bit nervous himself. A few seconds of eye contact, and Jeremy snorted and eye rolled himself before pushing past Runic as he spoke.
"Look boy, this city may be pretty but you won't last a day by yourself. You look homeless, have no knowledge of anything or anyone nor the rules and laws of this place and you expect a kind old bastard like me to just feed you and watch you go die hours later? Oh no-no." The man scoffed heartily. Stopping his walking as he looked over his shoulder at Runic and once again gestured with his head the boy follow. "I made the choice to help you the moment I fed you, not gonna have you wasting my kindness by getting into trouble. Besides you already owe me for the food and drink if you want to be so chivalric, and you'll be paying me back for all I've done once I get you to a point you're stable enough to be self-sufficient. Now come on boy, the clothing store will close soon and you aren't sleeping in the spare room of my house without clean clothes and a shower. You stink!" Jeremy scowled and turned to walk away again leaving Runic wide-eyed in disbelief at the scolding he just received for trying to cut ties. Did that... really just happen?
Runic contemplated just running away... if only he were that much of an ass though. A heavy sigh, and Runic closed his eyes briefly before shaking his head with an exhale and following after Jeremy deeper into the city.
"Whatever..." He muttered exasperated. Another gentle cool breeze washing over his features and spiky silver hair.
"Welcome to Umbral City!" A woman waved at all who came in nearby with a smile!
To be continued! Next Chapter - Stay Out of Trouble...
| guest chapter 3 . 6/29
very nice start to the story
can you re upload chapter 3?
it shows with some code attached to it
every line looks like this:
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| Jacky Dario chapter 41 . 6/22
Thanks for the update, please continue. I'm enjoying your story.
| Jacky Dario chapter 37 . 5/27
Thanks for the update, I can't wait for the next one!
| Sepherohth chapter 36 . 5/25
That was an interesting end to the chapter. Looking forward to the next chapter.
| Sepherohth chapter 35 . 5/23
Well, that was a wonderful chapter with the awesome fight sequence. Looking forward to the next chapter.
| Sepherohth chapter 34 . 5/23
The story has been very interesting so far. I'm super hyped to know more about the crimson character, seems badass. Also in this chapter I think you meant "scaredy" not "scary"
| DeathflareGoddess chapter 34 . 5/23
Want to stress again I meant zero antagonism in my last review. I just felt like I could harmlessly offer my own stance on it too in case you thought you were doing something very wrong Duodecim. Didn't want you trying to change too much to try and please our every gripe" there's no need. Keep up the good work!
Though not gonna lie, I hope this story gets real bloody soon. Slowly creeping up to that M rating and I can't wait.
| DeathflareGoddess chapter 35 . 5/23
Before I post on this chapter I feel the need to address something that caught my attention. For starters, there's nothing wrong with you using 'snort, scoff, eye roll' to portray emotions of the characters or any other similar actions. Using those gives much better imagery than a bland 'X said this' every other sentence (Not taking shots at Sephy but his issues with this seemed really odd to me). Being expressive has nothing to do with being an 'anime character' (even if I imagine this like a JRPG lol). I don't even know how someone draws that conclusion anyway?
Also you used sneer just fine, at least in my opinion. Never seen a problem with it so far. ANYWAYS coming off of that I liked this chapter. Izunata got a scar though and I'm kinda upset over that but at least she's not dead.
I want to know why she hates her powers so much though. I used to think she was like Sasuke in a sense with how she seemingly wants to harm someone for revenge yet the more I read about her the more it comes off as she doesn't know if she wants to escape or fight her past. Really interesting developments. Cyrus is pretty dope too.
| Sepherohth chapter 25 . 5/23
This seems like a classic "shounen" story and it's interesting so far. I like the Izuna character, she seems kinda cool. Also, you use "snort, scoff, eye roll, sneer" wayyyyy too much, it seems like the MC is an over expressive anime character.
| Sepherohth chapter 21 . 5/22
Sorry for the late review, kinda kept on reading without review. I just had to say this, I'm enjoying the story a lot but it seems the you're confused about what a sneer is? I mean, it's weird how you have used the emotion in conversations where it doesn't suit at all...