Reviews for Credulous
Lady Okra chapter 1 . 12/23/2017
Oh. OH. Oh no!

I quite like this piece. I like that his reasons to get to her are quite different from what one would normally imagine. I feel that some sentences, albeit written differently, are repetitive. They evoke the same sort of emotion in the reader, do not provide any new information and therefore, can be trimmed. Though, I must say, I do love how you have constructed some sentences, such as: "The panic in my heart lead the beat to my feet..." Really poetic.

Keep writing! Good job.

Cheers!