|Reviews for Shattered Fortress III: Allies|
| alltheeagles chapter 5 . 12/14
So are the Lon human then? Despite Taleb's about-face on that one, the question doesn't go away. Aren't the Dryn Mar just humans with magical powers i.e. Drycana? Kanin and Ada kind of illustrate that, don't they? Incidentally, I now conceptualise Drycana as something like my Qhyt that the Lady is so fond of. :P
I really liked that scene with Azad and Cyrus, particularly Cyrus' lines. I was LOL-ing at that point. Well, Azad is certainly very different now, and absolutely warrants Cyrus' remark. Do you know Joe Bastianich from Masterchef? I rather imagined the old Azad being like that, and now he's... oh, Dr. Phil? :D
Typo: the small human with A scowl
| AngryFerrets chapter 5 . 12/14
Taleb has certainly changed in some ways, but in others he remains very much the same. I think one of the things I enjoy so much about these stories are the characters. They are very dynamic, three dimensional, and always evolving. Taleb still wants to win the rebellion but has switched tactics preferring a non-violent way. Curious to see that about face and the similarities to his former ally/adversary.
Cyrus, coming to grips with managing love as an emotion and Azad as his guide, still has a way to go. The invitation from Ela can mean several things. Very interested to see how that plays out. We haven't had a POV from her so it's hard to judge her emotional state. That meeting has a ton of different possibilities.
One question. The community knows that the fugitives are living on the surface. Is there a particular reason that they don't try to aggressively apprehend them? Are they fine with leaving them there knowing that as long as they are there they can't interfere with life inside? Or do they just not possess an aggressive enough nature to pursue them? Fear of what the Dryn Mar are capable of maybe? Maybe Ela's meeting with Cyrus will answer some of that.
| AngryFerrets chapter 4 . 12/14
Interesting...Chax again, and a very perceptive one at that.
Your description of the Pattern is excellent. After coming this far in the story I feel like I can visualize the shapes and distortion when various characters are looking through it. You've taken a fairly abstract concept and described it in such detail that it feels natural. Very curious to find out just what Berry has stumbled on.
A nice twist to show that Avona's 'rule' isn't a seamless transition. While she assumes that things will fall into place seamlessly for her we see that is not the case. It's a different sort of tension from the main storyline but could have interesting consequences.
| alltheeagles chapter 4 . 12/12
Okay, so Berry went somewhere 'beyond' the crystifice (which is apparently not a good thing to do) and Avona inadvertently saved her with her summons. That's what I understood of the first part. I don't know whether to pay this fact more attention or that string of words that kept getting repeated. Oh well, there'll be more clues to come, I expect.
More interestingly for me, Chax shows his claws, just a little. Well, that's what I take that last remark as. I'd taken him as a fervent believer in 'subsume own interests for the greater good' who consequently doesn't think much about anything, but it seems he isn't all that simple after all.
| AngryFerrets chapter 3 . 12/10
A nice slow down after the rush to get us going in the third installment. And although the action may have slowed down you have done a terrific job of filling the chapters with some backstory, world building and some very interesting questions to consider going forward.
The pacing for this chapter was very good. It seemed like it was very quick after Ada passed on that they were granting her her final flight, but in all honestly time and an extended mourning period isn't something they all have the luxury of in their present situation. There were some excellent tender moments throughout, Moana and Kalin, Moana and Cyrus...touching stuff that helps build the characters and give them depth. Great stuff.
Very curious about Moana and Taleb's reaction to the lizard meat. Although it doesn't mention anything about Taleb getting anything from the meat the fact that she would pass it off while he would find it intriguing is interesting. And then there is his 'experiment' at the end. Hmmm...killing lizards provides more drycana that the effort used to kill them. I'm thinking this could be a dangerous path for Taleb...
| AngryFerrets chapter 2 . 12/9
This third installment is starting off with quite the rush. Action sequences in the main SF story line were intermittent at best but now that the story has really taken off the pace has intensified nicely and the action sequence is a great exclamation point to all of that. It's also taken off in non-action ways.
Chax is a very interesting character. Introduced as more of a tool for Avona he seems to really be coming into his own. Not sure exactly where he's going to fit into all of this, but he's the guy I most worry about. He seems to have a subtle ruthless quality about him that most of the other characters lack. Avona is acting on what she believes is right for the community, in a way paralleling Cyrus from the earlier pieces, but Chax...he seems to have some ulterior motives. Is he just cruel? Is he secretly planning to take over Avona's spot? Am I over reading? :) Either way...his being in the room when Avona wakes is more than a little creepy...he's a sketchy character for sure!
| AngryFerrets chapter 1 . 12/9
You have no idea how pleased I am to be reading the next installment. This is such a great story and told so incredibly well!
Such an about face from the Cyrus we were introduced to at the start. The character development has been perfect; logical and paced great. Same for Taleb...his manic, angry edge has been rubbed smooth as if the events that have happened acted like a fine sandpaper. He's still fierce but willing to work with the group now. I love it.
Azad was right all along, Cyrus will/is a powerful ally, but I think what happened had to happen to put him in the right perspective. Very much looking forward to the continuation of this!
| alltheeagles chapter 3 . 12/8
A bittersweet chapter. Though the general mood is sad, it is also peaceful, and the short bit about Taleb hunting provided a counterpoint to the solemnity of the 'funeral'.
QUestion: why did the lizard jerky provide Moana no drycana as the fruits and veges did, where the lizard dying supplied Taleb with drycana? Incidentally them killing lizards seems a bit creepy, given that Dryn Mar look kind of like winged lizards.
| alltheeagles chapter 2 . 12/5
I enjoyed this chapter thoroughly! It had humour - poor Kanin was trying to be helpful, but oh, the image of them running around with flapping squawking birds is hilarious. Anyway, the stealing of seeds was a plausible scene, and I liked the description of their flight - the fights were smoothly described and not too drawn out. I particularly liked that you didn't make their escape TOO easy cause that'd have been an anti-climax after all the tension that'd been built up
And finally, you have a LINE HERE that I think you forgot to edit.
| alltheeagles chapter 1 . 11/30
Oh what a very exciting start. It's been ages since I soaked in this world, but it feels like I never left because your style is as consistent as ever in its understated urgency.
So I was completely surprised by Cyrus' decision to, in effect, stage a mutiny. There was no clue at all in the preceding section about his visit to the Pattern. In fact, I got the impression that he was a little bit bored by the repetition of births-mother and child-family. It was a good surprise though. Never thought of Cyrus as hero material, but hey, a portly mild-mannered hero is a refreshing change!