Reviews for Elemental Warrior : Defenders of the Solar System vol 3
j.cazz.young chapter 1 . 11/30/2017
I have a feeling that you're numbering your paragraphs with the intention of making the story easier to follow, but this has the opposite effect. From what I read of it the numbers interfered with it flowing organically.

There are times when you should definitely start a new paragraph, such as when there is a change in who is talking, but using a numbered list to contain each "step" of your story is a bit haphazard.

Another two things: you don't always have to preface dialogue with "so and so said". That part can come after the dialogue, or even in the middle of it; and be careful of being inconsistent with your tenses.