|Reviews for DARK|
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 16 . 1/15
Oh okay so there's gonna be a multi part epilogue? That's unusual but I see why it works for this story. I like how this chapter had a blend of telling and showing their relationship.
Poor Lloyd; what happened to his parents is sad and I like the detail that he threw a tantrum; showing him not at his best makes him more human.
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 15 . 1/15
So, this chapter was pretty cute and funny with the dialogue., but it was a lot of mood whiplash; they all watched loved ones die an hour ago and suddenly they're laughing over awkward questions. I get that sometimes people laugh in bad situations but dark humor is a different thing than this, which felt very lighthearted. I'd recommend pasting this to a later chapter.
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 14 . 1/14
Aaa this chapter was adorable and I'm so glad Harold is alive.
In response to your messages, I'm not actually done reading; I meant that ch 13 felt like an ending but wasn't. But this story is marked complete right? Will there be more chapters later do you mean?
And about StarGazer being cruel, I get that, but that's not a motive. What I was wondering about is their motive.
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 13 . 1/14
This chapter felt like an ending, but I see it's only about halfway done. Hmm. Wonder when the other shoe will drop or however that saying goes.
Are there not any other survivors on the ship? If not, how do they know that? And if there are... that's just awful. Might have been a good idea to at least bring up the possibility of survivors (have them scan for human life forms or whatnot before leaving) so that question is answered.
I'm really confused about StarGazers motives in all this. What do they have to gain from sending a bunch of people off to die? Why not restrict the crew to the experiments and maybe a few others.
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 12 . 1/14
Again it took me a moment to remember that Zachary was Luis. I think it was harder in this chapter because Zachary is often a first name. Although I get why you wouldn't want to refer to him by his full name and title in this chapter at that part because it would be distracting and putting the focus on Luis instead of Lloyd and his grief. I think calling him just his title (or just his first name) at that part would suffice and be easier to remember.
I loved the "plum" part. It felt real; people clinging to something to laugh at during a tragedy.
Ah, so much angst and drama in this chapter I love it. Luis can be my new favorite character.
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 11 . 1/14
It took me a long time to remember who Ernie Harold was, especially since I only connected him with Hunter's story before and from Ernie's POV, Hunter is called Abbott. I do like how you use different names in different POVs to distinguish the different relationships amongst the crew, but it might be a good idea to use full names more often at the beginnings of each new POV to help everyone remember who is who.
Poor Ernie. It's nice if Hunter to apologize.
[His heart clenched tight. He had thought that this place was the only place he could fit in, even a bit, but even them didn't see him just like the rest.]
This hurt my heart. He's now my favorite character.
Noooo you killed my new favorite didn't you. I just wanted him to be hugged before he died at least.
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 10 . 1/14
[He would hate it if anything happened to Lennon but then again, he would rather cut his arm off than to ever hurt Lennon like how he almost hurt Mathias, but Mathias had to think about himself first.]
I would break this up into more sentences. Like this:
[He would hate it if anything happened to Lennon. He would rather cut his own arm off than to ever hurt Lennon like how Lennon had hurt him. But Mathias had to think about himself first.]
The thoughts feel more organized that way.
["What do you think happened here?" Mathias asked, the stench of the drying blood made him gag.]
The wording of this implied he's asking and gagging at the same time, which doesn't make sense (it's also two complete sentences without any conjunctions or anything to break them up.) Maybe try it like:
[Mathias tried not to gag at the stench of the drying blood. "What do you think happened here?"
Wow, StarGazer is really beyond evil. Senselessly killing people for being "distractions" or "expendable."
| total.boron chapter 24 . 1/5
Hey! I really enjoyed this story from start to finish - it was nice how all their stories tied up in the end and they came from all across the ship into two escape pods. I also loved the "five years later" chapters - it was very satisfying knowing that they all obtained what they wanted to with regards relationships, and also perhaps life in general. I thought it was good how you repeatedly enforced the message that things were never going to be "fine" - they'd all been through traumatising events in their lives and were never going to be completely okay, but with the help of each other things would be bearable. It's sad that StarGazer's original mission was well-intentioned and that things went downhill when their leader changed. It makes you wonder what could've been.
Overall, very nice story! Thanks for sharing :)
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 9 . 1/2
So that's what happened between Desmond and Ginger...
So Ginger is an experiment; wonder if Luis is the same?
I knew you were gonna kill off Giselle too!
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 8 . 1/1
She died. I called it.
Luis is my favorite character so far.
| shika-paprika chapter 12 . 12/28/2017
Well, that answers my question about Luis. But that was a pretty good read, I had no idea it would get so intense at some parts. It was nice to see the characters have a heart-to-heart like Llyod and Luis did. I already mentioned the issues I had with this in the earlier chapters, but all in all, great work.
| shika-paprika chapter 11 . 12/28/2017
Not much to say about this chapter except I noticed you're missing commas in sentences. I honestly didn't care much for the characters since they were just introduced here, but overall, nice work.
| shika-paprika chapter 10 . 12/28/2017
Cute chapter with Mathias and Lennon, really liked their interactions. It's nice to read something less intense after what happened in the last couple chapters. If Lennon and Ginger are experiments, does that mean that Luis is one too?
| shika-paprika chapter 9 . 12/28/2017
With Giselle gone, I guess there aren't any other female characters, huh? But that was a pretty interesting chapter to say the least. Ginger is starting to look as mysterious as Luis now.
| shika-paprika chapter 8 . 12/28/2017
That was probably the most intense chapter yet. We get to see Llyod/Yeld's hostile and serious side when it comes to his job and the people he cares about. A neat little detail I discovered is that depending on the situation, whether it's lighthearted or not, you change the character tags. Like in this case, Llyod is referred to as Yeld. Luis is such a strange character and it's horrible to see what happened to Sophia near the end.