|Reviews for The House of Abstract Concepts|
| Lady Okra chapter 1 . 1/1
I really like it!
I was wondering how you would expand the story and you have surprised me pleasantly. I like how you gave us a look into Alina's relationship with the others. It makes the characters seem like they are made of flesh and blood rather than just printed words. I'm really looking forward to what Alina does with the powers of the pocket watch and what exactly makes the "house" sorrowful. I felt that the opening was good. It certainly does capture your attention. I'm guessing it was the background to how Carlson came into possession of the pocket watch. I hope you can give us more of Carlson's backstory.
In the opening paragraph, "The animal slept soundly..." felt a little awkward to me. The next few lines made me do a doubletake because I actually thought that the animal was looking through the gap in the trees and not the boy. I suggest you rephrase it so that it offers more clarity. You have written "bye" as "by" on one occasion. I didn't notice any other spelling errors.
As to grammar, I did find a sentence or two awkward throughout the whole story. Also, punctuation following dialogues is something I'd suggest you to look up. There are some places where it is off.
I do not want to nitpick too much as I may come across as rude. :p
All in all, I think this a great story. I look forward to the next installments. :)