|Reviews for Southern Comfort|
| mousegirl05 chapter 10 . 11h
Hellooooooooo! Between sick kitties and the insanity that is January in the health insurance world, I think I missed commenting on at least one chapter. I'm sure you'll forgive me. ;)
I really enjoyed this chapter, even if I must offer an indulging, half-believing smile that the boys have already started to move beyond 'it's just sex'. It's sweet and adorable and makes me happy for them. Apparently they really are an excellent fit for each other. 3 (should be a heart there in case FicPress steals my 'less than' sign...)
I REALLY enjoyed that Caleb thought about what he could do that would make Josh happy to have something to do other than... bedroom athletics. I loved Josh's response to it all and I'm excited to see where things are going from here. (With how their worlds are becoming even more different.)
| mousegirl05 chapter 8 . 1/12
I think Josh's point of irritation was reasonable. I also was a little irked that Caleb didn't listen when Josh repeatedly expressed his desire that Caleb not be present for the shoot. I mean, it's not like they've known each other long (were we up to like ten hours of conscious face-to-face time?). And then I had to remind myself that they're teenage human beings and even adult human beings can be rude. This adult human being included.
Focusing on this chapter, however, while I appreciate that Josh could come out and state that the modeling is about the money (and it's a little heartbreaking to hear the 'I have nothing else' after this), I had a difficult time with his assertion that he has to take care of his whole family. At first, sure. Great. They were poor. Laundromats. Orange Crush. Daddy died. Momma had three kids to take care of. I get it. NOW? Momma (Kathie with a 'K' and an 'ie' - which immediately gave her a douchey-quality for me... I mean I don't go around introducing myself "It's Mandy, not Amanda, with a 'y'." At the time I was giving her the benefit of the doubt) does not appear to be physically unable to work. OLDER sister, seemed to balance on the right end and had the mental capacity to want her brother to have a boyfriend enough to coordinate the first meeting. OLDER brother is at college, presumably with the appropriate mental functioning to care for himself there as well. So as someone who put herself through college, had to pay for a lot of what I had and did in high school (not food or shelter, true), and semi-regularly has needed to help support [working] family members, my question is, why does he STILL feel responsible for them? Why are THEY not busting their butts to take care of THEMSELVES and their family TOGETHER? So while perhaps you were angling for an 'oh poor Josh' emotion, all I'm coming up with is 'Josh's family seems crap and he seems martyr-y stupid'. I won't go all the way to whiny, because he didn't bring it up, and I could see where if he developed this feeling as a ten-year-old it would stick pretty hard, especially if no one else had the presence of mind to address it. So, I lean more towards his family is crap. All three of them. There is the potential that you were going for exactly that, soooooo good job?
To end on a high note: I am very much looking forward to Caleb's cooking.
| mousegirl05 chapter 7 . 1/10
I enjoyed this chapter a lot actually. There was a ton of characterization going on that seemed effortless and subtle. It will be very interesting to see if the things I picked out turn out to be correct or me reading into things. (For example... Josh's current life is based on his momma's wishes...? And he was like... a baby runway model?)
Caleb did feel out of his depth and I really liked finding Josh's fears about being compared to the fake him. I see a lot of potential there. After all... Caleb already saw the doll-like behavior and mannerisms. I could see an awesome conversation/fight where Josh is accusing Caleb of no longer liking HIM and Caleb shooting back with if he wanted a goddamn TOY he'd order one! Or something.
| mousegirl05 chapter 6 . 1/9
Well there sure was a lot more meat to this chapter than prior ones! I think... Oh god. I didn't even think about the innuendo there until just now. But I'm going to leave it, because oh well. Either way, I think this chapter warrants a tongue-in-cheek change to the story summary (dear GAWD everything sounds dirty after reading this chapter)... or maybe the definitions of 'soft-core' and 'hard-core' have changed out from under me. Heavens know enough words have done that. Meh.
I'm still trying to switch names lol. I've had to start referring in my head to whomever is speaking as 'pretty-boy' or 'athlete' because 'Jock' keeps turning into 'Josh' (maybe that right there is where my problem is coming from...?) However, I'm taking no credit for my confusion at the line of "Josh took the lead...he kissed and nuzzled Josh's torso..." Josh it seems, is incredibly flexible and not paying much attention to poor Caleb here.
Right now, after the stalking and watching the parking lot accidentally hand-job, I'm kinda glad I DIDN'T have friends like Caleb in high school. But... kudos for averting their eyes...? o.O
As someone who almost throws up trying to brush her damned teeth every morning, Caleb's fantasy and his attempt to fulfill it almost made me lose my lunch (ugh and Josh's for that matter, too). But... yay for fantasies...? I did appreciate Caleb's choking. It made me laugh and further confirmed the darkness of my soul. Always good to get a measure of that now and then. One question that popped up is how experienced is Josh? I didn't detect a noticeable difference between the two. Maybe that's an intentional stab at convention, and maybe boys are just like that and I wouldn't know.
Very curious to see what's up with the photo shoot that Josh didn't want Caleb to see (and why his first thought wasn't "uh... I know this is a bs move... but y'think you could chill up here for a few hours, or just one and then slip out the front door?") But Josh knows his life, and I'm looking forward to finding out how merited his freak-out is. And I really want to see the momma-hug. I love her already.
| Lolly4Holly chapter 6 . 1/9
Sorry failte200, but I feel a little critical reading this chapter. I felt that some parts were a little rushed and in there for 'chapter filler' rather than to tell a story. The part where Caleb arrives at Josh's house, you cut to a quick chat between the characters which is a little hard to follow. (From a readers perspective) It's hard to tell who's saying what until 'cajun' is mentioned. It took me a few attempts to get through it in the confusion.
It feels like it needs to be fleshed out a little with some emotion or actions, rather than just line after line of dialogue.
I loved their kiss scene at the beginning though and Caleb's interaction with his friends. Go #operationcaleb. I also appreciated the explanations of Jeanette's fan-girl terms snuck in there too, but it was hard to stay focused after that. The last scene was great, I'm interested to see Josh working with Caleb watching and what the 'kraft table' refers to.
| Lolly4Holly chapter 5 . 1/6
Aww, the awkward tension between them at the beginning is kinda cute. Caleb's character is changing rapidly since he came out and I have to say, I don't really see him with a guy like Josh, but it is still early days, so what do I know :) Great chapter, failte200! Can't wait to read more.
| Lolly4Holly chapter 4 . 1/6
Great chapter, I think you messed up the names in the middle there though. When Jeanette goes out to talk to Caleb, you switch to Darrin talking as Caleb, while Darrin presumably stayed in the house. Other than that, it was great. I loved Caleb's reaction to Jeanette's 'girl talk'. Priceless!
| mousegirl05 chapter 5 . 1/6
Not much to say about this particular chapter. It's difficult to watch two people who don't want to talk about the only thing they know to talk about with the other. Captured the awkwardness pretty well.
I don't know why, but for some reason, in my head I keep trying to rename your fellas. I keep trying to turn the pretty model into 'Caleb' and the sports-star into 'Josh'. Makes for some interesting paragraphs that must be reread when I get to the end going 'whaaaaaaaaa?' Pointless sharing really, but there you go.
I think I remember you inviting suggestions, so here's what I came up with: One thing that I'm hope we get to see is some 'real' conflict. I mean I know we had Caleb with his self-image thing (which is huge for people), but even that was addressed with relative ease. We're in chapter 5 and the biggest tension I've sensed so far to worry me is the wannabe biker's condemnation. If I saw my wishlist played out, I would love to see Caleb's self-image really skunk something between them - perhaps when Josh's modeling is really shoved in his face? Of course, it's me so I'm still looking for a happy ending, so don't take my suggestion and make me cry [permanently] for these two. ;)
| FujoshiAtHeart chapter 5 . 1/6
I wasn't expecting him to be a model, but I'm not suprised. Nicely done!
| mousegirl05 chapter 4 . 1/5
Part of me feels like the last sentence should be the chapter title, but part of me thinks that it's perfect as it is. Either way, the last sentence made me smile.
This chapter is where I'm starting to feel a connection to the characters instead of standing on the outside watching. Both Jeanette and Caleb are becoming more 3D here. Sure we've had Caleb's surprise and anxiety and bravado around the 'gay thing', but his reaction and conversation here feel deeper, realer, I suppose.
I didn't go back and read around Josh's modeling thing, but I'm curious where you said 'full time model'... as in, he doesn't go to school at 17? Or... he does a lot of modeling and therefore it's more than 'a few jobs'?
| PassionAndFlamez chapter 4 . 1/5
This is amazing. To anyone reading the reviews, this is the cutest thing ever. Fluffyness is 100%
| Lolly4Holly chapter 3 . 1/4
Lol the military operation to find Caleb a boyfriend. I'm surprised they weren't wearing #hashtagged matching t-shirts for it. Jeanette seems way too excited about all of this, but I guess it's been a long time coming. I hope Caleb likes their choice. Another great chapter, can't wait for more!
| mousegirl05 chapter 3 . 1/3
To start with, in this chapter there were any number of times I laughed out loud (one even leading to a head-thrown-back-clap-your-hands-and-scare-your-sleeping-cat).
I loved the opening line. It made me laugh out loud (which is not that easy to do anymore). It reminded me of an excited child who realizes there's a fish on the end of his/her line. I really liked the joked of giving the process the the military operation. It also made me laugh. I was a little disappointed to not get to see the failed meetings, however. I do like seeing the best laid plans of mice and men come up short when it's done with humor as I feel like would be likely here... I understand why they're absent, and maybe imagining them is just as good. _~
And I see Josh has the same feelings about sports that I do. Hahahaha.
Of course, the last line sent me to Urban Dictionary to figure out if I was missing another version of 'ballroom' (God I feel old), but I think I pretty much had them all. Sooooo unless Urban Dictionary missed one, or somehow the literally meaning is surprising, I'm curious regarding the level of bombshell... We shall see! I'm sure it will be entertaining.
Nothing to pick at this time. I liked Josh's caution, the friends' awkwardness and the whole just-say-it-all-and-hope-for-the-best. Also, I like the way you adjusted the preferences-change paragraph. The first was good, and 'fine', this is even better. Experience for the win. ;)
| DrYuriMom chapter 1 . 1/3
You're back! *Swoons*
I'm loving Jeanette. Although I know she's a secondary character, we fujoshi have to stick together. You go, girlfriend! :-)
Looking forward to some dancing magic. On to Ch 4!
| Rae Kitano chapter 3 . 1/3
Another great chapter. Thank you