Reviews for The Tales of Mythos: Masque Raiders
InkHeart456 chapter 1 . 7/25
Just read the introduction and these are my inceptive thoughts: LOVE IT. What you described is the exact progression of every religion EVER. Gods exist, man picks a superior God, man fights to make that superior God the reigning paragon.
You struggle with the same thing I do- quite a few of your sentences are run on's, though they're almost worth it with the way you describe the world you've created. You delve into every little detail- the scents, the sounds, the sights, and you bring it to life before the readers eyes. I'm not someone who can really visual what they're reading while they're reading it, and yet I had no problem doing so with you. Aside from the run on sentences, there are a few grammatical errors scattered here and there, but it's nothing too dramatic.
I love all of the characters. My heart aches for Rayuko, and I sympathize with his mother, Fresa. She seems to only wish to protect her little boy. That being said, my respect for the father for not allowing the family to run from the village because of their problems is boundless.
I would watch your diction. This is a story based far in the past, towards the beginning of the world, from the sound of it. While Rayuko is confiding in his brother he says the phrase "freaked out" which will be instantly recognized by any reader as a modern term.
I hope you don't take the critiquing part of this review too harshly. I was thrilled by this world and the originality of the idea. Having read this chapter I think this would make a spectacular movie, quite honestly.
drahcirwolf chapter 1 . 1/19
The world-building in the first section is interesting, so I'm really excited to find out more about this culture.