|Reviews for Seedlings (Discontinued)|
| Darth Zannacross chapter 5 . 6/2/2019
Oh my, topless cuddling eh? Guess won't be long till they level up to full nudity. Well, a cute respite from things get messed up again, we will see if Isei or Iwa can keep the good times going.
| Darth Zannacross chapter 4 . 5/31/2019
Doh, been a while since I looked at this but I'll try and make up for it a little.
Arg, using a sibling's nectar is just asking for trouble...just ask all the Bee's that ruined their lives after a stupid whim.
Seriously though, Isei's recklessness cost him, but we will see just how much this will cost him soon. Well, he got bailed out so not TO bad lol.
Still, we will see how much trouble this Iwa is, floating swords never seem to come from easy obstacles. Well, another fun chapter, till next time.
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 11 . 11/6/2018
ve written so far… well, I’ll save my overall thoughts for the end of the chapter. The chapter is a bit short, it seems.
So Astrid has some way of sending messages out to her lab… I wonder how? Also, do thye have each other’s distress codes memorized or does the team get notified that it’s Astrid sending the code automatically. ? Because it seems kind of weird that the persn would recognize her code.
Ha ha, the heartwarming bonding between Taka and the one intern who makes decent coffee.
I suspect there may be something of a love triangle between Taka, Taro, and Astrid… and the pretty girl who works for astrid now, wh ose name I have forgotten. Interesting that Taka also calls Taro a du mbas s, implying she knows something about Astrid’s situation which would make it particularly dangerous… and that Taro knew this, too. Maybe Taro knew the albino girl would attack and went down there to be the knight in shining armor.
Or maybe Taka is just worried for a friend’s sake, but that’s less dramatic.
Yonezu is… kinda… selfish .
Hmmm… maybe Eae is some other seedling’s guardian. Someone whose destiny is intertwined with Ingrid’s…
I think Ingrid should habe been a bit more worried about Astrid.
Anyway. I’ve really enjoyed this story so far. I do hope you come out of hiatus someday. I mean, in my opinion, a first draft will always feel like it’s going on the wrong direction but it still feels amazing to finally complete it. Then later you can comb through it and pick out the pieaces you want to keep and delete what you don’t.. Sorry for the pep talk. I hope to see you writing again someday!
Hmm, I’m almost caught up with what you ha
…Pompous and overglorified sounds like It describes Taka well. Anyway, I didn’t know there were CLANS of seedlings. I thought it wasa a thing that happened to individuals, not families. (Then again it’s been a LONG time since I read the earlier chapters – my memory must just be a little fuzzy.)
…oh no taka and Taro are BROTHER AND SISTER. omg now I feel dumb.
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 10 . 11/4/2018
Well geez that’s a strange development... Ingrid repelling blood, grandma bleeding... super creepy.
So the ghost was the albino girl... she’s creepy but genuinely childlike with her “bow three times” thing.
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 9 . 11/3/2018
She fainted… hey, the potion DID knock Ingrid out, even if the reason I originally thought that was incorrect.
Did Ayano do something to it? I wouldn’t think so. She seemed genuinely nice. And her brothers seem to trust her. I would think someone’s own family would know them pretty well and not let her be a healer or search for cures if she would secretly poison people for no reason… but who knows. \
Maybe Ayano is looked at Ingrid’s soul or sometiing and saw the darkness and started to poison her and realized the boys would be sad if Ingrid died and would suspect her so she’s pretending to be all worried when actually she gave Ingrid something inevitably fatal… but maybe not, maybe I’m way overthinking this and should jst keep reading..
It’s alos possible that this was poisoned by someone else trying to get to Ayano… orrrr… maybe Ingrid just has a magically allergic reaction to it. Or the darkness in her seed reacts badlly wth the awakening potion… or she CAN”T Awaken her seed so the attempt to do it was what knocked her out. Like the magi c equivalent of the blye screen of death. Lo.
Dang Isei, what a deck. Anyway, the Ingrid looking better in sleep because she’s not masking her emotions thing I just sounds like susch a fiction thing… people look cereepy when they pass out… and even when thhey’re just sleeping, people look ugly. Snoring and drooling and shit.
[threw a takoyaki ball into his mouth]
I think if you said “popped” instead of “threw” it would sound better.
The girl on the bike sounds like a vampire. Haha - “I know what you are. Pale skin, blood red eyes.” “Say it!” “AN ALBINO!” this is what that’s making me think about.
I don’t see why it’s NOT utopia that the family feeds he people near the shrine? Free food for orphans and poor people sounds like utopia.
[the sun started setting, casting a glowing glow over Kyoto’s streets] – lovely prose here.
If Isei isn’t as rich as Kei, I can’t say his treating him to a five-star buffet sounds worth it! All that money spent, just to go take a walk and not have to hang out with an unconscious person? :P ANyyway if Kei is back it sounds like Ingrid is all right. Or Kei was mad enough to leave her and go chasing after ISei. :)_
[I know you’re jealous that Ririko was flirting with me, so I’m offering physical contact in the form of a hug] OMG why is that simultaneously so adorable and yet so dickish?
No sympathy for Astrid here. She’s an adu;t and should act like it. Not let her emotions get carried away when a guy she likes gets attention from a pretty woman. Take it up with the guy, don’t take it out on Ririko. Ririko owes her NOTHING.
The Ri-chan thing makes me wonder what honorifics the characters usually use amongst themselves. I’m assuming they all speak Japanese to each other and therefore have a few different uses of honorifics that don’t get written down on page.
Ah, cliffhanger. I wonder why it means by a ghost. Someone who looks like a ghost? Someone Astrid knows is dead?
| She Who Loves Pineapples II chapter 8 . 11/3/2018
That’s so weird, I wonder why the grandma freaked out about Ingrid being here.
And the seal… hmm. I wonder what that is about. It’s interesting that a seal is something that should need a “cure” like a poison or a disease would. I’m assuming a seal in this case is something like a curse.
Ayano seems like a sweet person. She didn’t know the whole story about Ingrid, so that makes me think she only heard the grandma talking about the darkness that came to the shrine and is now staying in the mansion, and decided of her own volition to come and help. She even gives Ingrid some potion from her personal stash! What a sweetheart. And her favorite flavor too!
Wait… did the potion knock Ingrid out? That’s not so nice then. Maybe it was a misunderstanding. But I mean, with Ingrid being so clueless, she should have been warned that the awakening potion would put her to sleep.
Oh wait no… ASTRID. I read that wrong. AsTRID, not Ingrid. I’m going to get those names mixed up a ton, lol.
[he’s also a very good looking and a good chef]
Yes! It’s cruel to transfer the coworker who feeds everyone!
Astrid is being rude and judgmental of Ririko. Just because Ririko is voluptuous and likes hair styling and fashion doesn’t mean she’s not capable! Hobbies like fashion don’t have anything to do with smarts! Leave her alone, Astrid.
| Shang chapter 1 . 8/15/2018
Judging from the date of the last upload, I imagine your writer's block is serious; from my own experience I know how much of a pain it can be, so I do hope you'll manage to overcome it, assuming you still like to write.
Moving on to the actual review: the prologue did pick my interest, even though it felt a bit random as in how did Kei and Isei knew Ingrid's phone number? Why did the silver-haired guy come to the girl's workplace? This having fantasy elements, I imagine there are reasons for these things, so I'm not gonna get too hung up about them... for now at least.
One thing I would advice you work on is expanding your vocabulary when it comes to referencing things and people (it's a common occurance on FictionPress as I noticed, which makes it all the more annoying to me); throughout the entire chapter Ingrid, Kei and Isei are almost always referred to by their names only. You already established they have unique hair colors within their group (black, silver and red respectively), so why not use that in stead from time to time? While your case is not as bad as some of the other tales I came across here, it can still be improved upon.
Similarly why not try replacing Miniko with organizer (if I understood its functions correctly) or even 'artificial assistant' for a more unique description?
Overall I'd say this is one of the better written pieces I came across lately, though I believe there is some room for improvement. Since I only recently returned to FictionPress, my reading is going slow, but I will mark this one and come back to it in the near future. So far: nice job.
| Ckh chapter 7 . 6/14/2018
Has hiatus dono struck again? Rippu.
I find mildly amusing that Kei's household is so influential, yet he doesn't directly exude this influence. Really shows how carefree that guy is. So Ingrid's abilities are steeped in darkness huh. Interesting. I'm going to wait until hiatus dono leaves before I come back into this again. Till then I have like bottles of cookies stacked.
| Fox Trot 9 chapter 2 . 5/15/2018
Oh man, this Wataba dude really stands out from the other characters with all the duplicity of personality. He seems like a loli-shota with a God complex. Also, the relational dynamic between him and the older brother, Naoki, is quite interesting. Usually it's the older brother that's favored, so I'm interested in how this reversal's came about with the "incident," whatever that is.
The other scene with the oni threw me for a loop for a bit, but then I remembered the Japanese god of the wind, so that's a cool addition to the story. In wonder how that marriage bit with the old lady plays in all of this. There's a lot of laying the groundwork here, and more than one story line is playing out. Despite the length of this chapter, the conflicts are much clearer than the last chapter, and thus hold my interest more than it did with Ingrid's prologue, actually.
| Fox Trot 9 chapter 1 . 5/15/2018
Well, well, what an interesting start here! The seedling premise shows some promise. From what I've read here, these seeds seem like they come from an extraterrestrial source (first impression), and those seedlings are these aliens or creatures in human form (first impressions based on tallness). Check! What I'm wondering is how Ingrid fits into this. Possibilities could be endless.
As for the prologue, it's a lot to take in in so short a span of reading. Descriptions are good, but I only have a good handle on Ingrid Choi. From what I've read, my first impressions are that this is a story in 3rd person limited POV, so I don't have much of a feel for the other three characters (Kei, Isei, and Ririko) beyond Ingrid's first impressions of them, which is a smart move in introducing characters quickly through Ingrid's POV without losing the reader interest.
Premise and the near-in medias res feel to the start of the story makes me think of a thriller, actually. Big fan of thrillers and urban fantasies, btw.
| JaDeCe chapter 9 . 4/23/2018
I would've screamed too. Why do i get the feeling that a lot of the characters have repressed feelings. Especially Kei. Come on man, even Isei and I can tell that you are falling for our Ingrid. Scratch that. Already fell... And hard even if you dont even know it yet.
I adore Kei and Isei's friendship. Loyal bestfriends are hard to come by and they have a strong bond. Though i would be beating Isei up every chance i got because he is reckless and Kei just be letting him get away. He is a fun nonetheless and is good to keep the fumbling Kei smiling.
The story is moving along. Im just waiting on Ingrid to wake up and show us what she is made of.
| Darth Zannacross chapter 3 . 4/1/2018
Uninvited guests are a pain, uninvited guests in the night are at best a major hassle, and at worst a threat lol.
Damn, the pressure is real with Watabi, hopefully he can find a way to break out of this crushing situation.
Meanwhile, damn, was to aggressive and scared the exotic girlfriend away, almost, but seems like there is a grander game at play here, hopefully its not just a set up for a painful trap, we will see but good job at establishing intrigue, till next time.
| Starart152 chapter 2 . 4/1/2018
This is a nice chapter that gives description of new characters and what they thought of each others and their intention. As for Naoki, its unknown what is really going on with him as the chapter ended in a cliffhanger, creating some suspense.
| Starart152 chapter 1 . 3/31/2018
This is a nice and quick way to begin the story with the main characters encountering some strange events about the Seedlings. You focused on the important detail of the story, such as how Ingrid and Kei met and what was going on before things turned to the bizarre.
| Yuki Tsubaki chapter 3 . 3/30/2018
Hahahaha, I was right! Ingrid's reaction wasn't so calm. So we're introduced to another character, Ryoba...at least, I don't remember seeing him in the previous two chapters. He's the type who is concerned about his grades, huh? I wonder what his role will be in this story, seeing as how he lives below Ingrid. I have a feeling that he'll get pulled into Ingrid's mess.
Okay, I'm not liking the Mitasu. Don't compare someone's hard work with another person, even if they are family. It's obvious that will bring up negative feelings. And Wataba already isn't happy with the adults, that just made it worse. I wasn't really happy about Wataba acting innocent, but in this chapter, I'm actually starting to feel sorry for him.
Pwha! Isei got beaten up. Poor him. xD Ohh, so we learn more about Seedlings and their abilities here. Nice. Okay, but how exactly do they know that Ingrid is also a Seedling? This brings up some interesting theories. One, maybe Seedlings are sensitive to other Seedlings, and thus can tell when one awakens. Two, Ingrid's ability as a Seedling is special and draws other Seedlings to her. Or three, Ingrid has some sort of past connection with Isei and Kei that she doesn't remember. I look forward to learning the truth about this in the future.
Whoa, for some reason, I'm not getting good vibes from the girl who is playing around with Naoki. Enemy or ally? She seems like a Seedling...hmm, could it be that Naoki is like Ingrid, and is about to awaken as Seedling?
Mhm, I enjoyed reading this chapter. We learn more about Seedlings and also get a better idea of Wataba's feeling. We're also given a better idea of the mysterious girl. I'm so curious about what will happen next.
Thank you for sharing and continue the good work! (•́ꇴ•́๑)૭