|Reviews for Seedlings (Hiatus)|
| Shang chapter 1 . 8/15
Judging from the date of the last upload, I imagine your writer's block is serious; from my own experience I know how much of a pain it can be, so I do hope you'll manage to overcome it, assuming you still like to write.
Moving on to the actual review: the prologue did pick my interest, even though it felt a bit random as in how did Kei and Isei knew Ingrid's phone number? Why did the silver-haired guy come to the girl's workplace? This having fantasy elements, I imagine there are reasons for these things, so I'm not gonna get too hung up about them... for now at least.
One thing I would advice you work on is expanding your vocabulary when it comes to referencing things and people (it's a common occurance on FictionPress as I noticed, which makes it all the more annoying to me); throughout the entire chapter Ingrid, Kei and Isei are almost always referred to by their names only. You already established they have unique hair colors within their group (black, silver and red respectively), so why not use that in stead from time to time? While your case is not as bad as some of the other tales I came across here, it can still be improved upon.
Similarly why not try replacing Miniko with organizer (if I understood its functions correctly) or even 'artificial assistant' for a more unique description?
Overall I'd say this is one of the better written pieces I came across lately, though I believe there is some room for improvement. Since I only recently returned to FictionPress, my reading is going slow, but I will mark this one and come back to it in the near future. So far: nice job.
| Ckh chapter 7 . 6/14
Has hiatus dono struck again? Rippu.
I find mildly amusing that Kei's household is so influential, yet he doesn't directly exude this influence. Really shows how carefree that guy is. So Ingrid's abilities are steeped in darkness huh. Interesting. I'm going to wait until hiatus dono leaves before I come back into this again. Till then I have like bottles of cookies stacked.
| Fox Trot 9 chapter 2 . 5/15
Oh man, this Wataba dude really stands out from the other characters with all the duplicity of personality. He seems like a loli-shota with a God complex. Also, the relational dynamic between him and the older brother, Naoki, is quite interesting. Usually it's the older brother that's favored, so I'm interested in how this reversal's came about with the "incident," whatever that is.
The other scene with the oni threw me for a loop for a bit, but then I remembered the Japanese god of the wind, so that's a cool addition to the story. In wonder how that marriage bit with the old lady plays in all of this. There's a lot of laying the groundwork here, and more than one story line is playing out. Despite the length of this chapter, the conflicts are much clearer than the last chapter, and thus hold my interest more than it did with Ingrid's prologue, actually.
| Fox Trot 9 chapter 1 . 5/15
Well, well, what an interesting start here! The seedling premise shows some promise. From what I've read here, these seeds seem like they come from an extraterrestrial source (first impression), and those seedlings are these aliens or creatures in human form (first impressions based on tallness). Check! What I'm wondering is how Ingrid fits into this. Possibilities could be endless.
As for the prologue, it's a lot to take in in so short a span of reading. Descriptions are good, but I only have a good handle on Ingrid Choi. From what I've read, my first impressions are that this is a story in 3rd person limited POV, so I don't have much of a feel for the other three characters (Kei, Isei, and Ririko) beyond Ingrid's first impressions of them, which is a smart move in introducing characters quickly through Ingrid's POV without losing the reader interest.
Premise and the near-in medias res feel to the start of the story makes me think of a thriller, actually. Big fan of thrillers and urban fantasies, btw.
| JaDeCe chapter 9 . 4/23
I would've screamed too. Why do i get the feeling that a lot of the characters have repressed feelings. Especially Kei. Come on man, even Isei and I can tell that you are falling for our Ingrid. Scratch that. Already fell... And hard even if you dont even know it yet.
I adore Kei and Isei's friendship. Loyal bestfriends are hard to come by and they have a strong bond. Though i would be beating Isei up every chance i got because he is reckless and Kei just be letting him get away. He is a fun nonetheless and is good to keep the fumbling Kei smiling.
The story is moving along. Im just waiting on Ingrid to wake up and show us what she is made of.
| Darth Zannacross chapter 3 . 4/1
Uninvited guests are a pain, uninvited guests in the night are at best a major hassle, and at worst a threat lol.
Damn, the pressure is real with Watabi, hopefully he can find a way to break out of this crushing situation.
Meanwhile, damn, was to aggressive and scared the exotic girlfriend away, almost, but seems like there is a grander game at play here, hopefully its not just a set up for a painful trap, we will see but good job at establishing intrigue, till next time.
| Starart152 chapter 2 . 4/1
This is a nice chapter that gives description of new characters and what they thought of each others and their intention. As for Naoki, its unknown what is really going on with him as the chapter ended in a cliffhanger, creating some suspense.
| Starart152 chapter 1 . 3/31
This is a nice and quick way to begin the story with the main characters encountering some strange events about the Seedlings. You focused on the important detail of the story, such as how Ingrid and Kei met and what was going on before things turned to the bizarre.
| Yuki Tsubaki chapter 3 . 3/30
Hahahaha, I was right! Ingrid's reaction wasn't so calm. So we're introduced to another character, Ryoba...at least, I don't remember seeing him in the previous two chapters. He's the type who is concerned about his grades, huh? I wonder what his role will be in this story, seeing as how he lives below Ingrid. I have a feeling that he'll get pulled into Ingrid's mess.
Okay, I'm not liking the Mitasu. Don't compare someone's hard work with another person, even if they are family. It's obvious that will bring up negative feelings. And Wataba already isn't happy with the adults, that just made it worse. I wasn't really happy about Wataba acting innocent, but in this chapter, I'm actually starting to feel sorry for him.
Pwha! Isei got beaten up. Poor him. xD Ohh, so we learn more about Seedlings and their abilities here. Nice. Okay, but how exactly do they know that Ingrid is also a Seedling? This brings up some interesting theories. One, maybe Seedlings are sensitive to other Seedlings, and thus can tell when one awakens. Two, Ingrid's ability as a Seedling is special and draws other Seedlings to her. Or three, Ingrid has some sort of past connection with Isei and Kei that she doesn't remember. I look forward to learning the truth about this in the future.
Whoa, for some reason, I'm not getting good vibes from the girl who is playing around with Naoki. Enemy or ally? She seems like a Seedling...hmm, could it be that Naoki is like Ingrid, and is about to awaken as Seedling?
Mhm, I enjoyed reading this chapter. We learn more about Seedlings and also get a better idea of Wataba's feeling. We're also given a better idea of the mysterious girl. I'm so curious about what will happen next.
Thank you for sharing and continue the good work! (•́ꇴ•́๑)૭
| Darth Zannacross chapter 2 . 3/30
Another place where adults are not trusted? Ingrid would gel well with the cast of Persona 5 lol.
Oh my, a bitter marriage that's on the verge of exploding after four centuries? This can't end well lol.
Damn, Naoki feels a lot of sorrow at being the unwanted child even despite being the oldest eh? We will see where this goes.
Well, this mystery girl could lead to many fun things, guess we will see if its a good or bad surprise next time.
| lirianstar chapter 11 . 3/28
Things just escalated o-0
A seedling's guardian looks like their seedling? And if she is Ingrid's guardian and as she looks nothing like her...
then something is obviously very wrong...
Is this the reason her awakening is messed up?
I hope Astrid will be ok...
I hope you return soon!
| lirianstar chapter 10 . 3/28
OH MY GOD.
WHAT TF IS HAPPENING?!
Astrid? Ingrid? What is happening? This chapter was one for extremes :(
The attack on Astrid - is she ok? Will she turn evil? I hope not. Taro, do something!
Has something gone wrong with the Awakening? I need to read on.
| Darth Zannacross chapter 1 . 3/27
As thanks for the review I'll check yours out, and it seems like something quite fun to read as Ingrid leaves right off the bat with a enticing figure. Seems like she has a lot going on, though we are in the dark on just what's going on but, hopefully we can figure that out soon enough as I 'm curious to how we got here.
Kei and Isei seem cool enough as well, but the cliffhanger moment is Ririko, seems to have quite a lot of tricks. Well, nice start, looks like it will be a fun time involving Seeds and what not lol.
| 360pages chapter 3 . 3/27
Hmm, we tend to figure out a bit more in this chapter, however I don't know if this was intentional or not. However, the chapter feels scattered, like what thoughts would be by someone walking down the street thinking of different topics.
I assume this is the combination of your short chapters and you changing scene location and characters within the same chapter. Usually changing perspective massively even in a third person story is kept towards the start of chapter or when it is absolutely necessary.
However in a scenes like this the information is actually perfect, but rather how it is presented may have been better.
Perhaps all the scenes with Ingrid could have been the first half and all the scenes with Wataba could have been the second half. Perhaps isolating each part a bit more, and letting the reader focus before whisking them off to another section.
That being said, the chapter itself is fun. And most of my complaints is less due to the content and me just nitpicking how it is given to the reader.
Also you are taking a break? That's good, sometimes you can feel overwhelmed or even burnt out and if you are doing something for fun the last thing you want is for it to turn into a chore.
| Datathee chapter 11 . 3/26
So many many questions? Astrid is a Seedling too. Is this inherited? Seedlings have guardians? Is someone else's guardian trying to kill the sisters? What are they looking for? Is Isei being hunted? Is Ririko actually one of the good guys? Is C&R one of the good ones?
I'm sad about the hiatus :( At least, the pause is on a good cliffhanger. We have so much more we need to see!