|Reviews for A Cup of Tea|
| Oh well chapter 1 . 1/12
aw, adorable. cute enough that the spelling and grammar mistakes can be brushed off. oh. or maybe that's just how it's supposed to be written where the characters are from? idk. yeah, my ignorance is painfully evident.
so you created this w/ shannie & devon in mind? at least that's what i think you said? hm. s & d might actually behave like this. if s trusted d enough to divulge her feelings like that.
and, giiiirl, you can freaking write. this kinda tickles the funny bone. ah, poor cup. :3
so stfu 'bout not being able to write. not gonna apologize for my insolence. mmhm, i'm a heartless biscuit.
| The Voice Of Silence chapter 2 . 1/12
In the last block of text, you used the word "rapped", but I think you meant "wrapped". And, that's the only mistake I can find.
Wow, your writing is amazing! I look through the fiction section occasionally, but I have never managed to find anything this good, and I had begun to lose hope that I ever would. I am definitely following this story, I need to find out what happens. Oh, and if you want, I could proofread some of your work for you before you post it, until you find some of that software I was talking about. Which reminds me, with dyslexia, text to speech would also be pretty useful, huh?
| The Voice Of Silence chapter 1 . 1/12
Distended doesn't work in that first sentence, the definition isn't what you think it is. Glaring isn't either, but for some reason that one actually sounds kind of right, so it cold probably be left as is. Hmm, maybe put a comma after finally, the pause would make it sound less monotone, and more like someone is actually speaking. And, I think if you removed "realms", from the sentence in line four, it would work a lot better. I looked up the exact definition, and it does work in a way, but it sounds awkward since you don't hear it used like that often. In line five, you use oscillating, but after looking up the exact definition, I was surprised to learn that it actually meant moving back and forth, like a pendulum, rather than spinning. Maybe change it to say that it was spinning or rotating from the impact instead? Also, at the end of line five, maybe put an "in" before "midair." I can't find anything after that.
Wow. I wish I could write like this. Wait a minute, hold on. AHA! I knew it! I looked through the story, and I found the description you gave for the house. It is one sentence long, yet I could still vividly picture the house they were in, which proves me right! HA! Sorry, I have always wanted to write actual stories like this, but never thought I gave good enough descriptions. But I did have an idea, that maybe the mind of the reader filled in all of the blanks, and this, this beautiful, beautiful thing, proved me right! Sorry, about that. Anyways, I really loved this story. You said that you tried a new format with this, right, one more focused on dialogue? Well, I would say it passes. The flow of the story is great, not too fast, not too slow, and the character interactions feel incredibly real. To be perfectly honest, it actually sounds like an actual published book, that's how good it is. On a less professional note, love the accent. I have read a fair amount of books by British authors, so it was fairly easy to recognize.
Oh, and I got tears in my eyes when you mentioned that Aaron was wearing a flowered apron, nice touch. Sorry about the length.